Violence
Many women (especially the married variety) will agree- men do a whole lot of stuff to turn women off. Most of it just comes with the territory though, and is accepted as part of being in an imperfect, human relationship.
But then there are those things that are complete turn-offs on a whole new level. The types of things that completely kill the buzz, and show a person’s true, un-pretty colors. Rarely is there any hope for a future after these rude, disrespectful, and disappointing actions have reared their heads.
Rudeness to Service Workers
Violence is one of the biggest turn-offs to women, probably due to the fact that no one, no matter their age or gender, likes to be beaten down or likes to see others get hurt. A violent partner usually means that there is some kind of emotional instability: something that may or may not go away with time.
If a partner is violent to you, you don’t have to put up with it. While this sort of thing can sometimes be treated with therapy, always watch out for your own safety.
Rudeness in General
If a person is nice to you but is rude to service workers, then it’s a facade. Without realizing it, they are showing you their true colors: colors that reek of insecurity, and that’s one of the least attractive things to women. Rudeness to service workers is one of the tell-tale signs of a sour personality.
Service workers, like waiters and cashiers, are just doing a job. Being rude to them indicates that a person may only think about themselves or can’t show empathy or patience.
Horrible Hygiene
There’s a saying that goes “treat others like you’d want to be treated,” and it may be because rudeness is such an unlikeable and undesirable trait. It points toward a lack of regard and courtesy for others. And no woman wants to be associated with a man (or woman) like that.
If your partner or date doesn’t treat others well, imagine how they will treat you. And if they struggle to treat you with respect from the get-go, it probably won’t get better.
Poor Grooming
Not only does poor hygiene show a lack of care for oneself, but it also makes it difficult for people, especially potential partners, to be around you for more than a minute. So please, brush your teeth, floss, and shower regularly in order to combat that bad breath and body odor.
Sure, sometimes a unique smell can be a biological thing, but please — get checked out if that’s the case. People would love to spend more time around you that way.
Way Too Much Grooming
This one may not be as bad as poor hygiene, but it does show that you don’t take pride in your appearance. Unkempt hair and dirty clothing will be a major deterrent for any woman long before she notices that you have an amazing personality or that you probably haven’t showered in a while.
Find a style that suits you and show it off proudly, but spend a little time giving yourself the care you deserve. You have to love yourself before you can love others.
Selfishness
On the flip side, less is always more. Putting too much effort into your appearance with flashy and expensive clothing and accessories may be perceived by some women as overcompensating for something. If that type of dressing style is also accompanied by an over-inflated ego, no woman with good intentions will give you the light of day.
This has multiple facets: how long it takes you to get ready, how expensive all your products and accessories are, and more. Women don’t often want to deal with all that.
Not Listening
Being in a relationship is all about giving and receiving. There are times when it’s necessary to put your ego aside and see things from your partner’s point of view or put their needs before yours. Women love a partner who is generous (not to a fault) with their time and resources.
Those who have a hard time thinking of others besides themselves are going to struggle being in a relationship. The “relation” part might pose a problem.
Always Having to Have the Last Word
In order for a relationship to thrive, there needs to be healthy communication between both parties. This includes not only hearing but understanding what is being said to you. Failure to do so will result in many arguments. And women can pick up on whether a potential partner is guilty of poor communication as early as the very first date.
This can manifest as direct ignoring or in minor things like checking your phone or taking over the conversation. Interrupting is another big way to show you’re not listening.
Crazy Amounts of Jealousy
Twenty20/socialroby
Occasional disagreements are common, even healthy in a relationship. No two people can agree on every single thing! But speaking over your partner or aggressively trying to prove your point is a major no-no. This turn-off may take a while to rear its head, but there is a chance to eliminate it altogether.
Allow her to voice her opinion, regardless of whether she’s wrong, and learn to accept that you won’t always have the upper hand. Nor do you need to maintain that “top” spot.
A Lack of Substance
Nothing screams insecurity more than jealousy, especially when it’s brought on by the smallest of things. Those things include not wanting her to interact with certain friends or colleagues or monitoring her talks with friends and even family. Behaving possessively does nothing but push her away and ruin your relationship chances.
Women are allowed to have all sorts of friends — even close male ones. They can have private text conversations, and they’re not obligated to share them with you.
Talking Horribly About Other Women
Twenty20/WR36
An interesting personality is a major priority for many women, regardless of whatever else you bring to the table. She wants to know what makes you tick and that there is more to you than what’s on the surface. You may attract her with your looks, but your character is what will keep her.
Looks change over time; you need what’s underneath, your heart and self, to maintain a relationship. Stay true to your hobbies, passions, interests, and dislikes.
Talking Horribly About Other Men
Having nothing but horrible things to say about other women, especially your exes, sends major red flags, no matter how the relationship ended. Constantly looking down on others isn’t an attractive quality; it’s one that will leave her thinking she has to walk on eggshells in order to please you.
This is something most women would rather not deal with, even a little. If you talk that way about others, who’s to say you don’t talk that way about her when she’s not around?
Chauvinism
Twenty20/sashapritchard
Women love a partner who is secure with themselves. So, frequently expressing negative remarks about other men shows her that you are anything but confident. Eventually, your complaints regarding other people will spill over into your relationship. It’s a kind of negative energy no woman wants to be part of.
Other men are just people, and she can be friends with or form her own opinions of them. You can have opinions too, but make sure they’re not always negative.
Boorish Behavior
Twenty20/mbocast
Expressing chauvinistic remarks to or around a potential partner leads to imbalances if there is to be a relationship. Making these types of comments means that there will never be true equality between the two of you and that she will never measure up to your misogynistic standards.
It’s fine if your household isn’t “progressive”; if she still likes to do the dishes and you like to mow the lawn, fine. But it’s not her “role” to make dinner or do the laundry. Figure out what tasks suit each other best.
Hating Kids
Photo: Twenty20/ @potochnyi
A pleasant attitude, along with a clean and well-groomed appearance, always goes a long way. Much like the other items listed, boorish behavior will not keep a woman around for long, if they stay at all. It’s much easier to charm a woman when you’re not uncouth and insensitive towards others.
In the end, what women want is a man who can treat other people with respect. Being a jerk is going to drive a lot of potential relationships into the ground.
Hating Animals
You may not necessarily know how to deal with their outbursts, but outright hating kids may not sit well with many women, particularly those looking to start a family at some point. If that is the case, perhaps it’s best to find someone who shares those feelings and life plans.
Not all women want kids, but a large number do. It’s best to find someone who shares your same ideals about the kid life (or not) so that there is no “compromise.”
Openly Ogling Other Women
Photo: Pixabay/ SarahRichterArt
It’s okay to not be a fan of animals, but openly proclaiming your hatred towards them is something else entirely. Being loud and proud about disliking animals (or, honestly, disliking anything with a really annoying, loud, or showy vehemence) indicates that you aren’t nurturing, and it’s one of the biggest turn-offs to a woman.
It’s okay if some things aren’t your cup of tea. And it’s okay to say so. But to be proud of it and flaunt it around is just being haughty and annoying.
Twenty20/Sashapritchard
This type of behavior is absolutely disrespectful, not only towards the person you’re dating, but also to the women being leered at. Any self-respecting woman will not feel flattered to be in either position, but more so your date. If you have to look, do it in a respectful way.
Women are people and don’t appreciate being stared at. Instead, if you want to get your woman’s attention, look when she points at something. This is known to help people bond.
Moving Too Fast
Twenty20/Rassamfeali
Falling head over heels too quickly could lead to many issues, like being over-possessive or reliant. And that’s if it even gets past the initial dating stage. While most women do like to hear how someone feels about them, most are turned off if they hear “I love you” too quickly. So take your time.
If you make a great team, the two of you will have all the time in the world to know each other better. Enjoy the relationship one step at a time so you can make memories to look back on.
Too Open With Gross Bodily Functions
Twenty20/Juliek
In the early dating stages, the vast majority of women find it utterly repulsive to be extremely open with passing gas, loud beer-fueled burping, picking your nose, etc. It takes time for her to become accustomed to you and your not-so-attractive qualities. Unless she’s just as open as you are, adjust your habits accordingly.
You don’t need to be ashamed of things that your body does naturally, but a little bit of modesty at the beginning can really go a long way.
Being A Know-It-All
Twenty20/inga_zaiat
Intelligence is sexy. But what isn’t sexy is when you know everything about everything. What’s worse is correcting your partner in a way that makes them feel silly, especially early on in your relationship. Don’t dumb yourself down for your date, but don’t flaunt every single thing that you know right off the bat.
If you know that your partner is wrong and it’s really important to you, why not try something like, “I’ve heard that some people think X. That makes sense to me because Y.”
Extreme Cheapness
Twenty20/calebthetraveler
We’re not saying that you should go all-out for a first date, nor are we asking you to flaunt your wealth to the lady you’re pursuing, but don’t be an absolute cheapskate. You can still be romantic on a budget. Don’t ask her to share her meal, then let her pay and then take a ride in her taxi too.
The two of you can agree on whatever payment arrangement works best for you, but be willing to at least show that you can have a little fun.
Being A Momma’s Boy
The vast majority of the Earth’s residents love their moms. But that doesn’t mean that she should be involved in every single aspect of your life. Don’t invite your mom on your dates or let her decide what you should wear. You can love your mom and still be independent.
Later on, being so close to your mom can come back to bite you. Having your own independence is really important, especially in a relationship.
Flakiness
Twenty20/maleahmslade
To most, flakiness is equivalent to being a liar. Making plans then not following through or canceling at the last minute is one of the least attractive things anyone can do. Your words end up meaning nothing because you can never be trusted to do what you say you’re going to do.
When people can’t count on you to come through, they’ll stop planning you into things. This all has to do with being respectful of others.
Breaking Promises
Twenty20/kundoy
Being a flake is one thing, but breaking promises or making promises you don’t intend to keep is something else entirely. Women, like men, take making promises very seriously, and if you’re not honoring them, how will you honor your relationship? It’s one of the biggest turn-offs ever, to all sexes.
Your word says a lot about you. If no one can trust what you say, why would they be able to rely on you for much of anything, including in a relationship?
Being Overly Flashy
Twenty20/christianJ
Some women like a super flashy guy, but the vast majority of ladies don’t. Why? Because it shows that you care way too much about your appearance. There are more important things in life than having a watch that costs nearly $20,000 or wearing a suit from Tom Ford.
Most people would rather have a partner who spends money on shared activities, hobbies, and fun. That’s the foundation of a relationship, not objects.
Unemployment
Twenty20/NataliaSolo
People lose their jobs every day. But if you’re content to be out of a job and dependent on someone else for money, then you’ll find it very difficult to get the woman of your dreams. No self-respecting woman will sign up to take care of a completely capable yet lazy individual.
Each partner should carry their own weight based on what is equitable in the relationship. It doesn’t have to be 50/50, but it should be fair.
Sending Mixed Signals
Twenty20/gballgiggs
No one likes having their feelings played with, and that’s exactly what happens when mixed signals are sent. Women (and people in general) don’t like having their time wasted, so if you’re not ready for something serious, make sure it’s clear as day that you’re just out for something casual and not something long-term.
This all goes back to honesty again. People need to be able to take you at your word, and you should show the respect that they deserve.
Talking About Your Ex
Twenty20/RLTheis
Ever heard of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule? Well, it doesn’t usually have anything to do with dating, but in this case, it does. Unless your partner or date asks about your past relationships, don’t bring them up at all. Even if you think they’re relevant to whatever you’re talking about.
You may think that telling a story about how bad your ex was helps your case, but it’s really just an excuse to talk about someone you’re apparently still thinking about.
Comparing To Your Ex
Twenty20/maginnis
There’s no stage in your relationship when it’s okay to compare the woman you’re dating to your ex, even if you’re saying she’s better than who you were with. Why? Because talking bad about women or comparing them is an awful and unattractive thing to do, regardless of your intent.
As stated before, always try to see the best in people and talk well of them. If you don’t have anything nice to say, even about your ex, don’t say anything at all.
No Ambition
Twenty20/raqwell
Having no ambition shows a woman that you have no fight in you and that you’re content with the cards life has dealt you. If you won’t fight for yourself, why should she think you’ll fight for her? Or for anything that matters to you? Or that you’ll help her if she needs your support?
You don’t need to be a knight in shining armor fighting off every danger, but you need to be willing to stand up and work hard for the relationship’s needs.
Liars
Twenty20/ElenaT
It’s not rocket science why telling untruths is a turn-off. How is she, or anyone for that matter, supposed to trust what you say if you’re always dishonest? It’s just not a good habit to have, especially if you’re trying to cultivate a relationship with someone for the long term.
Honesty encourages openness, which is a big part of effective communication. And as we all know, communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship.
Pretenders
Twenty20/Globetrotter
A different kind of liar is a pretender. If you act or portray yourself to be something you’re not, you’re dishonest from the very start. When you are caught, and you will be, there will be no chance of a future for you and the woman you’ve been lying to.
Why pretend in the first place? You’re only drawing a crowd of potential relationship candidates that automatically fail the compatibility test, because they don’t have the right information.
Social Media Cheating
Twenty20/gballgiggs
Part of what makes a woman feel special is knowing that she’s the only one you’re interested in. Knowing that a potential partner is constantly chasing tail or entertaining other women, especially on social media, is something no woman wants to deal with.
This isn’t the same as keeping up with friends, even other women, on social media. It’s okay to have friends. It’s not okay to be in an emotional relationship with them.
Actual Cheating
Twenty20/galinkazhi
If you and your partner have agreed to be exclusive, there’s no version of you getting physical with someone else that’ll end well; the vast majority of women (and men) hate cheaters. In fact, knowing that someone has a reputation for cheating is enough to turn a woman all the way off.
That being said, relationship rules are based on each person involved. If you have agreed on an open relationship, respect the rules you’ve laid down.
Excessive Drinking
Twenty20/criene
No woman wants to deal with a drunk! She’ll have to make sure you get home safe, clean up after you and then remind you of all the silly things that you did while you were intoxicated. Keep the drinking light and fun before you turn her off for good.
It can be fun to go out for a few drinks, but remember that things can be rough for those around you. Set some drinking boundaries according to your relationship’s needs.
Drug Use
Twenty20/galinkazhi
Having a reputation for using and abusing drugs is enough for a woman to not even want to talk to you. For many reasons, using drugs just isn’t a smart practice to engage in, and it definitely won’t open any doors for you as far as good women are concerned.
Drugs are associated with all sorts of negatives, from health consequences to money woes. Most women are not going to want to go anywhere near those issues.
Negging
Twenty20/criene
Negging is a form of emotional manipulation where one person deliberately says negative things about their partner to undermine their confidence, making them want or need that person’s approval. This kind of abuse takes a very long time to recognize and even longer to overcome, but once it’s done, there will be no going back.
The constant goal of a healthy relationship should be to build each other up, not make each other dependent. Plus, no one will want to date you when word gets around that you behave like this.