The Unforgettable Cow Conundrum
Funerals are somber affairs, with lots of crying and hugging. Funerals are said to be meant for the living, to get a sense of closure with their lost loved ones. It can be one of the worst experiences you ever have to face. So imagine how much worse it could be if everything went horribly wrong.
Funerals are super-formal, and we all know how they are supposed to go, which is totally by the book. No one knows this better than the people in our stories today. They’ve witnessed unfathomable events take place at funerals and have decided to share their tales. Get ready to be floored by some of these wild, real-life occurrences…
Blowing the Wrong Way
So, my favorite uncle had sadly passed away, and we were all gathered for his funeral. The whole event went surprisingly smoothly, and I have to say, the pastor delivered a really good service. It was touching, and we all found some solace in his words.
After the service, we hopped into the cars and headed to the cemetery for the gravesite ceremony. Now, you wouldn’t expect it, but I actually had a fun time during the ride there. We were reminiscing about the good times we had with my uncle, sharing stories, and even managing to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood. It felt good to remember him with laughter amidst the sadness.
But as we pulled up to the cemetery, something absolutely bizarre happened. There, in my uncle’s grave, was a cow just chilling and staring back at us. I mean, seriously, a cow? We were all taken aback, trying to make sense of the situation. How on earth did a cow end up in a grave?
Well, let me tell you, we had to wait for what felt like an eternity for them to bring in a backhoe to remove the cow from the grave. It was like a scene out of a comedy movie, except it was happening at a funeral. I’m not gonna lie, it was a mix of confusion, amusement, and disbelief. We couldn’t help but chuckle nervously as the cow was lifted out, wondering what the heck was going on.
Finally, once the cow was out of the picture, we could proceed with the funeral as planned. But you know what? That bizarre cow incident somehow brought us closer together. We laughed and shook our heads, finding a strange comfort in the absurdity of the situation. It became a memorable part of my uncle’s send-off, a story that we still share with a mix of laughter and disbelief. Reddit user: Sandor17
Making A Break For It
My friend, who happens to be a lawyer, had this client who was pretty well-off but also pretty lonely. This guy had a peculiar request before he kicked the bucket – he wanted his ashes to be sprinkled over the beautiful Sydney Harbor. Sounds romantic, right? Well, not so fast.
The lawyer had been working his tail off for months, trying to get official permission for this unusual request. But let me tell you, bureaucracy can be a real pain in the you-know-what. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to get the green light. It was like trying to navigate through a maze of red tape. Frustrating, to say the least.
Now, fast forward to one Friday night. The lawyer and a few of his buddies decided to hit up a bar to blow off some steam. They were feeling adventurous and spontaneously hatched a plan to catch the Manly ferry. You know, just for a little joyride across the harbor.
Little did they know that fate had something interesting in store for them. They brought along the urn containing the client’s ashes that had been sitting in their office for months, gathering dust. They figured, why not seize the moment and finally give the guy his final wish? It seemed like a solemn and sentimental idea at the time.
So there they were, on the top deck of the ferry, ready to bid farewell to their client. They gathered around, preparing to say a few heartfelt words and pour out the ashes into the harbor. But here’s where things took an unexpected turn.
As they opened the urn and tipped it over, a gust of wind swooped in out of nowhere. And wouldn’t you know it, the wind decided to play a mischievous trick on them. It caught the ashes and blew them right back in their faces. Yep, you heard that right. The ashes went flying all over the passengers on the top deck.
Talk about an unexpected turn of events! They went from having a solemn moment to being caught in a cloud of their client’s remains. Can you imagine the shock and confusion on their faces? I bet the other passengers were equally bewildered.
They probably looked like a bunch of dazed and ash-covered fools. I can only imagine the awkwardness and the frantic attempts to brush off the ashes discreetly. Reddit user: Damocles2010
Not Exactly As Planned
Back in high school, my best friend had this really intense and kinda mysterious situation go down. Her birth mother passed away, and it was a pretty tough time for her. But here’s where things get interesting.
Turns out, her brother was serving time in a maximum-security prison. I have no clue what he did to land himself there, but it must’ve been something pretty serious. Anyway, the authorities granted him a furlough to attend the funeral and pay his final respects. Yeah, you heard that right, a prisoner on furlough.
So, there we were at the church, all gathered to say our goodbyes, and in walks her brother with his entourage of guards. You can imagine the tension in the air. It felt like we were in the middle of a suspenseful thriller, and I half expected a dramatic soundtrack to start playing.
Now, they had this guy all shackled and chained, and not just with one guard, but three of them keeping a hawk-eye on his every move. I gotta admit, it was a sight to behold. The dude had this “I’ve got nothing to lose” look in his eyes, and you could practically feel the anticipation in the air.
But here’s where things got really wild. As they brought him to the burial site, right when everyone was huddled together, sharing their final goodbyes and shedding tears, this guy decides it was the perfect moment to make a daring escape. I mean, talk about timing.
I can still picture it in my mind like it happened yesterday. He made a sudden move, struggling against his restraints, attempting to break free from the guards. It was like a scene out of an action movie, only this time, it was happening right in front of us, in the middle of a somber burial.
The guards, clearly caught off guard, went into full-on panic mode. They held on tight, trying their best to keep this guy from pulling a Houdini on them. It was chaos, pure and simple. People started gasping, others were frozen in shock, and I couldn’t help but have a mix of adrenaline and disbelief pumping through my veins.
Ultimately, despite his valiant effort, the guards managed to subdue him and prevent his escape. They had backup waiting in the wings, ready to jump in and restore order. The whole thing lasted only a few moments, but it felt like an eternity.
In the end, the burial proceeded as planned, albeit with a little more adrenaline and excitement than any of us had bargained for. Reddit user: jojewels92
The Nerve of Some People
I’m working at this funeral and burial service up in good ol’ Vermont. The next of kin, you know, the folks in charge, they had this idea of releasing doves at the gravesite. Yeah, doves, those peaceful, white birds that people usually associate with weddings and all that lovey-dovey stuff. But apparently, they’re a thing for funerals too. Who knew?
Now, I gotta admit, I’ve seen my fair share of unconventional funeral requests, but this one took the cake. I mean, I had no clue it was considered appropriate to release doves when someone kicks the bucket.
So there we were, all gathered around the gravesite, the casket in place, and the mood was somber, as you’d expect. Then, the moment arrived. The family, tears streaming down their faces, released those doves into the air. It was supposed to be this symbolic gesture of peace and letting go, all that deep stuff.
But here’s where the story takes a hilarious turn. Just as those doves took flight, out of nowhere, this hawk swoops in like a stealthy ninja. And before anyone could react, it went straight for one of the doves and… boom! Total destruction.
I kid you not, it was like watching some bizarre bird version of an action movie. Feathers flying everywhere, chaos reigning supreme. My co-worker and I were caught so off guard that we had to make a beeline for the hearse because we were laughing so hard.
As we made our way to the hearse, barely able to contain our laughter, we could see the stunned expressions on everyone’s faces. They were a mix of shock, horror, and I swear, a few stifled giggles here and there. It was one of those moments that you couldn’t believe was real, yet there it was, unfolding before your eyes.
Sure, it might not have been the most peaceful and serene dove release ever witnessed, but hey, at least it provided a much-needed comic relief amidst the sadness and mourning. And you can bet your bottom dollar that this story became the talk of the town for weeks to come. “Remember that funeral with the hawk attack?” Yeah, I don’t think anyone who witnessed it will ever forget. Reddit user: cready802
Courting Death At A Funeral
It’s my grandma’s funeral and we’re all obviously feeling pretty down, as you’d expect. And then this minister, who we didn’t even know, shows up out of the blue.
We’re all gathered there, trying to find comfort in each other’s presence, when this minister starts preaching like there’s no tomorrow. But here’s the thing, instead of offering solace and words of support, this guy goes off on a wild tangent. He starts telling us we’re all a bunch of sinners destined for the fiery pits of hell.
I mean, seriously, at a funeral? We’re mourning the loss of our dear grandmother, and this dude has the audacity to go on a hellfire and damnation spree. And to top it off, he has the nerve to tell us to stop crying because she’s supposedly in a “better place.” Yeah, right. I’m sorry, but that’s not exactly what we needed to hear at that moment.
We later found out that this minister was a last-minute replacement. I don’t know how we ended up with this guy, but I swear, if I had known what he was going to say, I might have taken matters into my own hands. I was this close to giving him a piece of my mind, maybe even more than that. But in the end, I decided to hold back, realizing it wouldn’t do any good and might make matters worse.
Looking back, I regret not standing up to him. That man was pure evil, spewing hate and judgment at a time when we needed support and understanding. It’s moments like these that make you question why some people choose to become ministers in the first place.
But hey, despite this minister’s awful behavior, we managed to find solace in each other’s company. We shared stories and memories of our grandma, reminding ourselves of the love she brought into our lives. And in the end, we chose to focus on the positive, on the legacy she left behind, rather than the hurtful words of one misguided minister. Reddit user: Brandyce
A Complete Circus Act
I’m at this solemn funeral, paying my respects and trying to keep it together. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this random dude bursts into the room, shouting about how we’re all destined for the fiery depths of hell. Nobody, and I mean nobody, had a clue who this guy was. It’s like he appeared out of thin air, armed with his hellfire speech and an unwelcome presence.
So, the pallbearers took matters into their own hands. They decided enough was enough. They swiftly grabbed hold of this interloper and showed him the exit door. Let’s just say they made sure he wouldn’t be crashing any more funerals anytime soon.
Now, you’d think that would be the end of it, right? Just a mere five minutes after the whole dramatic showdown, the power in the place goes out. It wasn’t some random coincidence or a faulty circuit breaker. No, sir.
The crazy dude who stormed into the funeral decided to take his escapades to a whole new level. Get this—he climbed up the telephone pole right outside the venue. And there he was, swinging on the wires like some sort of deranged acrobat.
I guess he thought he could make a grand escape or something. But oh boy, he didn’t quite think that plan through. ZAP! He got a shock of a lifetime, quite literally. That electric surge must’ve sent him flying because he plummeted a whopping 40 feet to the ground. And guess what? The guy lived to tell the tale. Reddit user: You_know_ it
Wrong Song
We were gathered at the cemetery, ready to give our final farewell to our family friend’s mom until suddenly things took a bizarre turn.
They lowered the coffin into the grave by a machine. The machine broke and the coffin starts going at a wonky angle. The poor mom rolls right out of that coffin like a clumsy acrobat.
Amidst the shock and disbelief, we got our other family friend (she was a big shot in a particular community), who decided now would be a good time for a close-up and started filming…
She captures the whole commotion—the original family friend giving the machine operator a piece of his mind, and the poor mom’s unexpected roll-out.
After the funeral, when things have settled down a bit, the videographer had the audacity to hand over the bill to the original family friend for the video cost. Trying to profit off someone’s grief like it’s some kind of Hollywood blockbuster.
Naturally, our friend wasn’t having any of it. Who in their right mind would pay for a video of their mom’s coffin circus? So, he promptly kicked her out of the “family friend” club. And honestly, can you blame him? Some lines just shouldn’t be crossed, especially when it comes to exploiting people’s most vulnerable moments. Reddit user: kibus
A Brother’s Love
it’s a sunny Saturday morning, and there’s a whole bunch of weddings and funerals happening at this massive Catholic church. We were paying our respects to this really old man who had lived a long, fulfilling life and had finally kicked the bucket due to good ol’ age catching up with him.
So, there we are, waiting for the body to be wheeled inside, ready to say our final goodbyes. Suddenly, a wave of confusion washes over the crowd as we hear the familiar tune of “Here Comes the Bride” echoing through the church. Yeah, you heard me right—instead of a mournful dirge or a hymn of solace, the organist goes and plays the wedding march!
Imagine the sight—the mourners turning their heads, their expressions shifting from grief to utter bewilderment. All eyes shot up to the organ loft, silently asking, “What in the world is going on?” I bet that poor organist had a major facepalm moment up there, realizing their accidental musical mishap. Reddit user: Back2Bach
Dirty Hands
We were mourning the loss of my dear aunt when my schizophrenic uncle decided to make an entrance that nobody saw coming. He climbed on top of the coffin and managed to pry open the casket all by himself. No tools, no assistance, just sheer determination fueled by his deranged convictions, and started throwing punches at the lifeless body lying peacefully within.
What’s crazier is that no one got up to stop him until he had already given her a good few hits. Everyone in the room seemed frozen. It was like we were all trapped in some twisted dimension where the rules of common sense didn’t apply.
My uncle, lost in his own world of delusions, believed with every fiber of his being that his sister, rest her soul, was not actually dead. According to his unique brand of reasoning, her passing was just an elaborate scheme designed to divert attention away from his own problems.
When he was finally separated from the casket, the sense of relief that washed over the room was palpable. It was like a collective exhale as if we had all been holding our breath during the entire moment. Reddit: thxshead
The Revelation
At my sister’s boyfriend’s funeral, I couldn’t help but notice the uncanny resemblance between my sister and me. As I stood there, lost in my thoughts, a woman approached me, and took hold of my hands, mistaking me for my sister. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said, her words rushing out like a waterfall. And just when I thought the encounter couldn’t get any stranger, she added, “Your father looks like Dr. House.”
This stranger felt the need to compare my late sister’s boyfriend’s father to a fictional TV character known for his cantankerous nature. Fast forward to the ash scattering ceremony, the same woman at the funeral made an appearance.
Without skipping a beat, she scooped up a handful of ashes and scattered them into the air. Okay, maybe she wanted to participate in the ritual, albeit in her own eccentric way. But here’s where things take a rather… let’s say, unconventional turn. Just ten minutes later, she waltzed into the nearby café and started chomping down on a panini, completely disregarding the need for hand hygiene.
This woman, who moments ago had her hands immersed in the symbolic remnants of a departed soul, didn’t even bother to wash her hands before indulging in a delicious sandwich. Talk about a stark contrast between solemnity and culinary cravings. Reddit user: wewakeful
The Eulogy
When the husband’s wife suddenly passed away suddenly, it caught everyone by surprise. As the husband tried to navigate the devastating loss, his divorce lawyer unexpectedly showed up at the funeral to offer some comfort. At first, everyone assumed he was just a close friend or a supportive acquaintance.
But during the wake, one curious family member decided to dig deeper and asked the lawyer how he knew the deceased. And that’s when the bombshell dropped. The lawyer revealed that the couple had been going through a divorce, a fact that had been kept secret even from their closest relatives.
It turned out that the grieving widow was his client, and he had been there not only as a sympathetic friend but also as her legal counsel in the process of their separation. The husband, already devastated by his wife’s sudden death, now had to confront the additional pain of their hidden marital struggles being exposed. Reddit: Kudamaman
Burger King?
After my uncle’s passing, we arranged a traditional church ceremony to bid him farewell. The preacher chosen to deliver the eulogy was somewhat familiar to us, but not someone we had a close relationship with. Little did we know that this guy had a knack for insensitivity.
As we sat there, mourning and trying to find solace in the service, he took the opportunity to mock my uncle. He made tasteless jokes about his frugality and laziness, completely disregarding the somber atmosphere surrounding us.
At that moment, we were all just stunned, unable to fully process what was happening. It wasn’t until after the ceremony had ended that the sheer absurdity of it hit us. Some of the male members of our family felt anger and disbelief, and thoughts of paying the preacher a visit to confront him crossed their minds.
But as our emotions ran high, pleas and desperate requests from others in the family swayed them from taking any impulsive action. Despite our frustrations, we chose to focus on honoring our beloved uncle’s memory in a more positive and dignified way, leaving the preacher’s insensitive remarks in the past. Reddit user: dssx
A Clueless Cousin
Last year, we tragically lost a dear friend of mine, he was only 23 and it was absolutely devastating. To honor his memory, his former boss was given the opportunity to speak at the funeral. Little did we know that his boss had a serious case of mistaken identity.
In a bewildering twist, the boss rambled on and on about fond memories of my friend starting his career at Burger King. But here’s the thing, my friend had never worked at Burger King!
As we sat there, mourning our friend’s loss, confusion washed over us. We exchanged puzzled glances, wondering how his boss could have gotten such a basic fact wrong. It was like listening to a bizarre alternate reality where my friend was slinging Whoppers instead of pursuing his actual endeavors.
The eulogy became an unintentional comedy of errors, leaving us torn between laughter and disbelief in the midst of our sorrow. Despite the boss’s well-intentioned but misguided anecdotes, we managed to find solace in the fact that his presence at the funeral was a testament to the impact our friend had made on his workplace.
While the boss’s recollection may have been comically off the mark, we cherished the genuine memories we held of our beloved friend, and those were the ones we held dear in our hearts. Reddit: WhatsThatSkaSong
Not the Average Grandma
As we all solemnly gathered to pay our respects to our departed grandmother during the church service, my cousin, who happened to be two years younger than me, decided it was the perfect moment to whip out her camera and start snapping pictures of our grandmother’s lifeless body.
As you can imagine, it created an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. Thankfully, someone quickly intervened and pulled her away from the scene. To say my cousin was upset about being stopped from taking those pictures would be an understatement.
She couldn’t fathom why there was such a fuss and failed to grasp the gravity of the situation. I guess some people have different ways of expressing themselves, but this was definitely one of those moments where we all collectively rolled our eyes and couldn’t believe the lack of sensitivity.
Despite the unexpected disruption caused by my cousin’s camera escapade, the service continued, and we managed to honor our grandmother’s memory in a more respectful and traditional manner. Reddit user: HuggingTheJellyFish
The Reenactment
At my sister’s funeral, things took an unexpected turn when my eccentric maternal grandmother made her grand entrance. Clad in a black catsuit that hugged her figure, she boldly sported a flashy red belt and matching stripper pumps.
With her hair styled like Bram Stoker’s Dracula, she confidently strutted down the aisle. As shocking as her outfit was, nothing prepared us for what she said next. Without a hint of remorse, she gazed at my dear departed sister and callously remarked that her weight had been her own undoing. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say, especially in such a solemn setting.
Unfazed by the somber atmosphere, my grandmother proceeded to engage in flirtatious banter with the men in my father’s family, even going as far as discussing gallstones with them. At that moment, I couldn’t help but wish she had chosen not to attend the funeral at all. Reddit user: Domesticated Glamazon
A Burial And An Arrest
I found myself back in my hometown, attending a funeral for a man who had been confined to a wheelchair. It was a somber occasion, made even more heartbreaking by the fact that his own brother had been responsible for his untimely demise.
To complicate matters, their sister happened to be an employee of mine, so showing up felt like a way to offer support during this difficult time. As the ceremony began, a brief eulogy was given to honor the man’s life. But what followed left me utterly stunned.
A family member stepped forward and announced that the man’s nieces were going to perform a skit. My heart sank as two young girls, no older than 9 or 10, took the stage. Then, in a chilling display, the girls reenacted the tragic murder, leaving nothing to the imagination.
They acted out the violent acts with one of them mimicking their uncle’s struggles in the chair. The room fell into horrified silence, and I found myself at a loss for words. Never in my life had I witnessed such a shocking and wildly inappropriate scene. Reddit user: doocurly
A Death At A Funeral
It was a devastating day as we gathered to mourn the loss of my cousin, who tragically took his own life. The weight of the situation was made even heavier by the absence of his father, who was on the run and anticipated police surveillance.
We understood his absence but couldn’t help but feel the absence of his support. After the service, vehicles suddenly roared into the scene. To our shock, several US Marshals leaped out, brandishing weapons and pointing them at everyone present.
In a case of mistaken identity, they tackled my other uncle to the ground, confusing him for his fugitive brother. The tense atmosphere quickly spiraled into chaos, with a riot breaking out.
Amidst the chaos, the Marshals forcefully placed my disabled uncle into a minivan and swiftly drove away. We buried my cousin and spent the rest of the day trying to find out where they had taken my uncle.
Hours later, they released him with an insincere apology, leaving us with a bitter taste of injustice and the lingering trauma of the day’s events. Reddit user: Youdontevenknow1
Finally the Favorite
I found myself at a funeral in Ohio, knowing well that one of the attendees had a tendency to drink a bit too much. As anticipated, he showed up slightly inebriated. He paid his respects to the departed and then settled down in a comfortable chair, where he promptly dozed off.
People didn’t make much of it and carried on with the service, choosing to ignore his slumber. It was towards the end of the session when his wife approached him, intending to wake him up. But to everyone’s shock, he slumped over and crashed hard onto the floor. It was a sudden and tragic moment.
As we later discovered, he had suffered a heart attack and had been lifeless for at least an hour. The irony was poignant and saddening—passing away at your own father’s funeral. Reddit user: MadLintElf
For the Ducks
At my father’s funeral, my uncle, known for his unconventional sense of humor, took the stage to deliver a speech, and what he said next left many people stunned and divided. He had just suddenly walked up the podium and started with a line that took everyone off guard.
“Well, I’ve waited 52 years to say this, but I am now the number one son!” he proclaimed. It was a joke, undoubtedly inappropriate given the somber occasion, yet it struck a chord with some of us.
While a few of us, myself included, found the remark ridiculously funny, many others didn’t think the same. Yet surprisingly for me, it turned out to be the best part of my dad’s funeral, a brief moment of laughter amidst the sadness. Reddit user: Animosus5
One Last Message
In a remote corner of the countryside, my uncle led a solitary life, with my dad being his only regular visitor. As time went on, he began allowing others to rent parts of his land for their own use. He loved his life there and expressed his wish to be cremated, with his ashes scattered in the pond he cherished.
And so, when he passed away, our family and his tenants gathered for his unique farewell by the waterside. As we stood solemnly by the pond, my father took the initiative. He reached into the urn, grasping a handful of Uncle Joe’s ashes, and threw them into the waters.
Inspired by his action, other attendees followed suit, each taking their turn to release a part of Uncle Joe back to the place he called home. But then a flock of ducks suddenly descended upon the pond and they began pecking at the water’s surface.
They were feasting on the floating remnants of Uncle Joe’s cremated remains. It was a macabre scene that left us frozen in a strange combination of horror and fascination. Reddit user: TheOpus
An Attempted Robbery
After an open casket viewing, a man came in saying he wanted to pay his respects privately. No big deal, we often had people who preferred a more intimate moment with their loved ones. We led him into the viewing room, opened up the casket, and told him to take his time.
A couple of minutes later we’re sitting in the office and hear a really loud popping sound, followed by running and the door slamming. Naturally, our curiosity got the better of us, and we rushed into the viewing room to investigate.
We ran into the viewing room and we found the deceased’s mouth wide open, with the skin looking rather strange. Our best guess as to what happened was that the man had actually thrown a punch, probably in some fit of rage or frustration, and then made a hasty exit, leaving us all in a state of confusion. Reddit user: Gingervitus455
Funeral Flowers for A Wedding
So, there were these separated parents who had come together to mourn the loss of their toddler during the visitation before the funeral. The mother was grieving, but something about her reaction seemed off, almost as if it wasn’t genuine.
Then, she proceeds to pick up the child’s lifeless body and discreetly hid him in her coat, and sneaked out the door while nobody was paying attention.
Thankfully, the funeral director quickly realized that the casket was empty and chased after the ‘distraught’ mother, catching up with her just as she was about to reach her car. Fortunately, he managed to stop her and retrieve the child.
Two months later, we found out that the mother and her new boyfriend were responsible for the death of the child, and the biological father had no idea. Reddit: [deleted]
A Family’s Superpower
So, there was this memorable service my mom attended, where the husband of the deceased, an older gentleman, made quite a surprising appearance. He showed up to the funeral with his new girlfriend, who happened to be significantly younger and was wearing a busty outfit. It definitely caught everyone’s attention.
What made the situation even more eyebrow-raising was her behavior. When the husband would begin to cry, the girlfriend would bring him into her chest to comfort him while stroking his hair…
To top it all off, shortly after the funeral, the husband approached one of the funeral directors with an unexpected request. He actually inquired about the possibility of taking the flowers from the service to use for his upcoming wedding with his new fiancé.
Yes, you heard it right – he was already planning another wedding just days after bidding farewell to his late wife. Yep. He sure was a classy man. Reddit user: vibree
A Mistress’s Confession
Well, it seems like my family has a rather unique and unfortunate superpower: getting arrested at funerals. Let me tell you about a couple of memorable instances that truly exemplify this.
During my great-grandmother’s funeral, things took a dramatic turn when my grandma, overcome with grief, threw herself onto the casket. As if that wasn’t enough, her sister rushed over, shouting, “EVERYONE KNOWS SHE HATED YOU!”
The tension escalated quickly, and in the chaos that ensued, they accidentally knocked over the casket. The situation spiraled out of control, resulting in my aunt getting arrested for her involvement in the commotion.
Then there was the funeral of my uncle, which was no less eventful. To everyone’s surprise, his mistress showed up and immediately engaged in a heated physical altercation with my aunt, who happened to be his wife. The fight centered around the question of who had the right to be at the funeral.
Ultimately, the mistress and her family, who had paid for the casket, ended up in one room with the casket itself, while the rest of us were segregated into a separate room, forced to listen to the proceedings through speakers. Reddit user: teachforgold
Paying the Priest
So, I have this story from my friend’s uncle’s funeral that you won’t believe. During the service, the pastor kindly offered the opportunity for anyone to share a few words before concluding.
Some family members shared memories and kind words about my friend’s uncle, but things took an unexpected turn when a woman, completely unfamiliar to everyone present, suddenly stood up and made her way to the podium.
She started talking about how wonderful of a man my friend’s uncle was and how much she cherished working for him as his cleaning lady. As this mysterious woman continued speaking, she suddenly broke down, expressing her love for him and revealing that they had planned to elope.
The room fell into stunned silence, including the wife. Reddit user: thesublieutenant
Taking the Stairs
My friend took his life and there is no way that orthodox priests would hold a requiem for him because it’s against church beliefs. As we gathered at the funeral, there was a dead silence.
Suddenly, the priest approached the deceased’s brother with an unexpected offer, saying, “There will be no requiem for suicide deaths, but if you can pay up, maybe we can work something out.”
After, the brother calmly invited the priest to a secluded spot behind a small chapel. Then, he and his two other siblings beat the crap out of the priest, inflicting blows that left his face swollen and him moaning in pain.
Surprisingly, the battered priest returned to the gathering and holds requiem. For free. Reddit user: operativac
Free the Butterflies
It was around 5 or 6 years ago when my cousin, seemingly having everything going for him, took his own life by leaping off the balcony of his apartment. Nobody knew why.
He was a genius, had his PhD by 22, and was teaching at a university. He never gave anyone the slightest idea that he was battling this… As we gathered to say our final goodbyes, his father, always known for his humor, took to the podium to deliver a eulogy.
Trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere, he began with an unexpected twist: “My son was a special kid, unlike any other boys. While others would have simply taken the stairs…” The room fell into a painfully awkward silence. Reddit user: Iamthewarthog
Putting A Smile On His Face
One day, my roommate received news that his aunt had tragically lost a child, so he and his wife attended the funeral. The parents, seeking a symbolic gesture, had planned to release a group of butterflies from a box but unfortunately forgot to poke holes prior to the funeral.
So, at the funeral proceedings, when my roommate and his wife emptied the box, instead of fluttering butterflies, lifeless bodies were scattered on the floor.
There was absolute shocked silence as the parents dumped a box of dead butterflies on the floor, and my roommate had to leave the church to prevent himself from being seen crying from laughing so hard. Reddit user: tostadatostada
He Might Come Back
It was a solemn day when our family gathered to pay our respects in the wake of our great-grandfather. My own mischievous boys, aged 10 and 8, then grabbed a chair and positioned it next to the casket, giggling as they make his mouth into a smiley face, laughing the whole time.
When me and their grandfather saw it, I immediately pulled them away and told them they shouldn’t do that. Then I reminded them of the importance of showing respect and explained that their actions were not appropriate for such a solemn occasion.
But surprisingly, their grandpa joined us with a chuckle. He assured me that their antics, although unconventional, had brought a smile to his face. In fact, he revealed that their great-grandfather had expressed a desire to inject a touch of humor into his own farewell.
He had even made a special request to the funeral home, asking them to place a sign in his hand that read “Thanks for coming,” but since it’s such an unusual request had been declined! Reddit user: Cobra1190
He’s ALIVE!
My grandfather had a serious and severe love of drinking (sometimes at the expense of his own family), and my family made it no secret that he was a thorough idiot most of the time. His brother was speaking by the casket and joked that maybe we should bury him with a half bottle of his favorite drink to piss him off…
My dad yelled, “No! He might come back from the fiery pits of Hell for it!” A few people looked horrified, and at first, I thought my grandma started sobbing. But she was laughing so hard she had to excuse herself. Reddit user: Stev247
A Priest’s Advice
It was a funeral for an uncle and the church is very full and incredibly hot. Just as the priest is getting to the end, a man near the back faints. Now, this guy was very tall and rather broad and was also really difficult to carry outside to get some air.
Somebody suggested that the pallbearers carry him, since they’ve practiced it. They pick him up and start carrying him towards the door, as they would a casket. Suddenly, the guy wakes up, grasps what’s going on and immediately starts yelling “I’M ALIVE! I’M ALIVE! I’M ALIVEEEEEE!” Reddit: ioannas
The Insurance Check
At my mother’s memorial service, my dad had several members of his church come up and speak. My mom was not a member of this church, and in fact, she was agnostic. We let him do it anyway, as I felt it comforted him. Anyway, one of the guys proceeded to tell us that we were all going to burn in hell if we didn’t repent, just like my mom…
My mom would have found it hilarious that someone would say something about her going to hell. She would have the perfect comeback. That was who she was, a sarcastic, funny, silly, loving lady. Reddit user: iamdubioustoo
The Audacity!
My cousin walked into his dad’s funeral yelling for the insurance check; the dad’s sibling received the burial insurance check and arranged the funeral, but the son wanted the check for himself. We took him outside to calm him down, but he then proceeded to be the biggest drama queen- kept talking about taking his life because his dad was gone…
His dad actually had another insurance policy, which the son ended up getting. He blew through $20k in 2 months, and now borrows money from my family. Reddit user: Soso91
Jazz Hands
My father showed up 20 years after swearing he’d never see us again, at my grandfather’s funeral. He then asked me to step into the hall during a prayer, where he asked the funeral director to have me physically removed from the property. The family had no idea this had happened until after, at which point, everyone left the church in utter disgust.
While they did their best to console me, my father took advantage of the lack of people around my grandmother, and tried to talk her into moving into a home and to sign the family properties into his name. She broke her hand hitting him. Literally broke her hand. Reddit user: ElitistRobot
An Accident At the Procession
I technically did not see this occur (it was before I was born) but it is a frequently retold story, as an example of what a raging attention seeker my mom is. She knew she would be coming to the funeral late from work, but rather than slip into the back quietly, she came in from the side, crept up behind the casket, and popped out in a rather inappropriate red dress…
At the pivotal moment (just before she popped out), my dad and aunt, regardless of who is telling the story, always, always, do jazz hands. The entire thing is ridiculous to me. Reddit user: howsthatwork
A Tale of Two Juggalos
At my grandfather’s funeral a few years ago, a woman was trying to cross through our funeral procession at a red light, which is quite illegal here. A cop was coming up to block the next red light, and was going through the intersection as she stepped out into the street right in front of his car…
The policeman hit the woman and her friend so hard that they both flew up and over his car. I was about four cars back from the hearse and my brother, parents, and almost everyone else saw it. Reddit user: kavien
The Sound Clash
My childhood best friend died earlier this year. We lost touch in our teens, and he apparently changed a lot in the intervening 15-20 years. He got into a lot of bad habits and eventually wound up choking to death on his own vomit as his friends watched…
The funeral home did a slideshow of photos of him. Every single photo showed him getting into trouble, doing something illegal or wearing juggalo makeup. When his mom gave his eulogy, she proclaimed herself a juggalo in his honor. Reddit user: ElectricCharlie
The Ex
I was once at the funeral of a priest. He was so well-liked in the church, that not only were there dozens of other priests, but something like two or three bishops. More than half of the people in attendance even had to stand outside of the church just to listen to the whole ceremony on a speaker.
What made this all challenging? It was kind of hard to hear when the neighbor played anti-church and anti-god songs just as loudly. The neighbor actually got up at around 8 a.m. on a Sunday, just so he could mess with people. Reddit user: DefinetlyNotAPriest
Spending the Inheritance
My cousin was 27 years old when he died in a single-car crash. At his funeral, all of his siblings and parents sat on the front row at his graveside service. Then, lo and behold, my cousin’s ex-girlfriend of over a year showed up and immediately inserted herself into the front row next to his sisters and proceeds to scream cry periodically throughout the service.
All of the family just gave her awkward stares, with no one wanting to address her inappropriate behavior. I had never seen that type of attention-demanding drama queen antics before or since. Reddit user: she_linden_tree
A Proposal At A Funeral
A couple I knew, received word to rush to the side of the husband’s father as his death was imminent. So they do, but not before stopping at the BMW dealership to order a new car. Just after the funeral, the husband was publicly berating his mother about how he needed the money as the car was being delivered.
The entire time, his wife was egging him on to get the money. He finally told his mother that she had to write a check to cover the costs and that it is her fault he was in this position. This all occurred within 20 minutes of her having to bury her husband of more than 50 years. Reddit user: Attercrop
Getting It On At the Wake
My husband’s uncle had a few strokes that left him mentally equivalent to a toddler, and fragile when emotions were involved. When my husband’s grandma died, everyone came to the funeral, including this uncle, along with his daughter, who was fresh out of rehab. Then her new rehab boyfriend came in, acting like it was Christmas, and not a funeral.
He went up to her dad, who is literally crying like a baby and says, “Hi, I’m Eddie. I’d like your permission to marry your daughter.” Bewildered, the poor guy says “ugh, ok”, and then goes back to crying. The happy couple then goes around announcing their engagement. Can’t make this stuff up. Reddit user: Mrs_Milkman
All About Dee
About two hours into the wake, a man and woman show up; acquaintances of the widower. They walk around the house a bit, grab a drink and then disappear. I was asked to get some drinks from the garage, so I did. There was the young couple, leaning against a car and engaging in some pretty vigorous intimate relations…
Another family member who was standing in the kitchen saw what I saw. I backed out of the garage, while my relative told the widower what we’d seen. The next thing I know, the widower is telling these two people in no uncertain terms that they needed to leave. Reddit user: widsid19
Piecing Him Back Together
At the lunch after my grandpa’s funeral, his daughter “Dee,” who no one had seen in years, showed up. Dee had been writing bad checks all the way to the state prison and had definitely had some unresolved beef with my family. The last time my mom saw her was when she was 16 and Dee left her infant daughter for my mom to babysit, and never came back…
At the funeral, Dee was acting like it was a reunion, but no one was having it since she screwed them all. My grandpa’s last girlfriend, a legally blind woman, tried to physically fight her until others stepped in. Reddit user: PlebCityBaby
The Birthday Funeral
When I was a freshman in high school, one of my friends was decapitated in a car accident. For some reason, his mom decided to have an open-casket funeral against the advice of the funeral director. It didn’t even look like him and it was pretty traumatic…
You could tell they basically pieced his head/face back together and caked makeup all over it. His mom was so heartbroken and upset that she got in the casket; the pallbearers had to remove her to shut the casket and carry him to the hearse. Reddit
The Tall Pallbearer
About two weeks ago, my grandpa’s funeral was taking place and it happened to be on the day of my birthday. I wasn’t too bitter about the date arrangement. That is until my aunt announced in the middle of the funeral that we should all sing happy birthday to me…
So to list it all out: dead grandpa in the room, everybody standing around teary-eyed, funeral choir song just finished, and now everybody is being led by my crazy aunt in the most confused and out of place rendition of “happy birthday” ever sung. Reddit user: FadeCrimson
Hey Daaaaarlings!
While visiting my grandparents, one of their friends passed away. They were having trouble finding pallbearers, so they asked my father, who was 6 ft 2 and had to borrow a suit that was too short for him, for the occasion. There he was, a head over all of the other pallbearers getting ready to pick up the casket…
Since he was so much taller, the corpse rolled over and made a noise as everyone lifted since my dad’s side was higher. The funeral director opened the lid of the casket, shifted the corpse back over and said, “don’t worry folks, he’s still dead.” Reddit user: Parrot _Face_21
Grabbing It Straight from the Casket
A narcissistic family member arrived late (after everyone else was at the graveside for the burial, and probably lurking behind a tomb to pick the perfect time after the priest had just started talking), wearing an enormous hat and sunglasses and low cut gown like she was attending the Golden Globes red carpet or something…
She proceeded to begin loudly making an absolute scene of how devastated she was, daaaaaarlings and just generally making it all about her at someone else’s funeral. Reddit
A Bed Opened Up
When my dad’s mom passed away, there were a lot of people there; he comes from a family of 11, (10 now, as his sister passed away a while ago), so there were a lot of nieces, nephews and cousins. It was an open casket, I was around 12-13, but everyone was grabbing things from her/off her from the casket.
All the aunts grabbed things for their kids who didn’t even know her. The ONLY thing my dad has a keepsake of his mother’s is a little rose pin that she wore in the home she was in before she passed. It’s unfortunate and makes me feel very sad for my dad. Reddit user: ClydesyWide
Heaven and Hell
My grandma never woke up after being admitted to the hospital, and wasn’t dying fast enough for the hospital’s liking, so they sent her home. My family gathered at her house paying respects and four hours later, she passed. My sister’s room had been given to my grandma because of the hospital bed, and she was sobbing that she didn’t have anywhere to sleep.
Our mother said, “well a bed just opened up.” After moments of silence, a roar of laughter rang throughout the house. I still think about that night, but in my memory, I hear my grandma laughing with us which is odd because she was dead. Reddit user: simplyrick
Congrats At A Funeral
A friend of mine died when he was 17. At the funeral, many classmates showed up. There were two pastors; the first gave a heartfelt service since he knew everyone in town. The other was from a new-ish church in town, and spent 15 minutes ranting about evil teenagers and, “I saw it written on one of your cars that he’s your guardian angel as I was walking in…
Well, you’re wrong! When you die, you go to Heaven or Hell, and the way the youth in this town live, I’ll be surprised if I ever encounter him again in this life or the next.” Reddit user: PTech_J
Letting It Hang Out
At my grandfather’s funeral, a friend of my mother’s came over to her, hugged her and said, “Congratulations! Congratulations! I am so happy for you” in a very, very sad voice. This friend fell from his balcony a few months earlier and didn’t recover completely (or properly), so he always mixed up words or expressions…
We didn’t think it was possible, especially because of the occasion, but we laughed so much that moment, leaving this poor soul confused about our amusement. Reddit user: Milkncookie
A Grave Digger’s Tales
I grew up in a family that worked for funeral homes, doing the setups at the cemetery. I’ve seen fistfights, fainting, preachers falling in graves, you name it. At one funeral, the family gathered around, and as the preacher started talking, one man who must have had a few drinks turned and calmly whipped out his large privates and started peeing…
It was a long one that involved swaying and bumping the two large women he was standing between for support. No one batted an eye as he zipped up and turned back around. My brother and I were laughing our asses off. Reddit user: randye
A Series of Deaths
I work as a gravedigger and have seen a few good ones. At a military funeral for an elderly man, the widow was walking down a hill, slipped and rolled down the rest of the way. This was before taps was just a recording and the trumpet player was laughing too hard to continue playing…
Another time at a funeral, as they were walking the casket to the grave the bottom fell out of the casket and dropped the deceased on the ground. That one was actually pretty bad. I can’t imagine how I would have felt if that was a family member of mine. Reddit user: farmertom
He Wanted A Volvo
Years ago, my family had gone through a series of funerals over a few months- grandfather, grand aunt, grand uncle- so we got to know the funeral directors fairly well. One day, and a few months after the last funeral, my father was driving us along a country road in Ireland when the hearse of the funeral director came the other way.
Without thinking, my father gave a big smile and wave to the hearse and the procession behind were looking at us thinking what the hell is this guy waving and smiling at a funeral for. Reddit user: Sami295
Poo Poopy Doo
In the crematorium for my grandad’s (Will) funeral, my uncle was holding my 18-month-old cousin who was asleep. The priest was saying the final words, when suddenly, the kid started proper snoring. Me and my other cousins start sniggering- so does my uncle and a few others…
Then, when we get outside, my dad pointed at the hearse and says, “Will always wanted a Volvo!” Everyone around laughed and the whole mood lifted. Then we went back to my aunt’s house and let off some fireworks and it was just nice and peaceful. Humans are strange, but also awesome. Reddit user: sparkyfrodo
A Fun Remembrance
This is not super inappropriate, but my grandfather was always a trickster. He had a great sense of humor. He had this little song he would sing to me, my siblings, and my little cousins where he would just repeat the words “poo poopy doo” over and over…
At his funeral, my aunt was telling stories about him and in the middle of her telling a story, my 6-year-old cousin screamed “POO POOPY DOO” in front of 50 people. Needless to say, it lightened the mood a little bit and made everyone a little happier remembering him in a good way. Reddit user: poopydoopy
My dad put together his mom’s funeral. A lot of us had been really close to her; my cousin and I especially (we’re her oldest two grandkids, 6 months apart). It was a big celebration of her life and we all wore purple instead of black or dark colors (which seemed to life everyone’s spirits a bit).
My dad had the star trek theme playing as people arrived (she was a serious trekkie), we all shared stories, her carvings and paintings were on display near the casket, and by the end I remember a lot of us standing around laughing, even if we had red puffy eyes. Reddit user: VotreEsUne Chaussure