The Belly Flop Footage
CCTV cameras seem to capture some of the best things posted on YouTube these days. The videos include complete fails, fights, or really funny footage of people after a drunken night out on the town. But who are the people who get to witness this strange stuff first-hand? These are the weirdest things late-night security guards have seen on the job….
It must be quite an entertaining job to have to sit there and watch all of this go down…but then quite a mission to go and deal with whatever nonsense someone just pulled afterward. Spectators get to witness all of the comical aftermath with none of the downsides. Security guards from across the internet came together to share the creepy, funny, and downright odd things they’ve seen while at work.
In the Right Place
I worked at a hotel, and we had a group of college kids come to ask us if we had security footage of the pool area between 3 and 5 a.m. They were all excited about it, so we pulled it up. They had put something in the lock on the pool door so they could get in later; we didn’t care because they were checking out….
Thirty minutes later, they started a drunken belly flop competition and wanted us to tell them who won. One of them did about five perfect belly flops in a row. I’m talking grade A belly flops. We told him that he won, and he raised his hands up in celebration. I have yet to see a more perfect belly flop, let alone five of them. Reddit User: Reddit
The Drunken Hitch-Hiker
I once worked as a technician installing CCTV cameras in a police station. One day the police told me about a certain camera that was already working and recording, even though the project wasn’t finished. He was lucky enough to have that certain camera working and recording. It turns out that another policeman had shot someone, then disarmed his gun and replaced parts of his own gun with the other policeman’s gun (the one who was telling me the story)….
Without that footage, the police officer could have been charged with murder because the other gun had been used to shoot a criminal. It took us quite some time to find that specific part of the video, but the policeman was happy and thankful. What can I say? In the right place at the right time. Reddit User: yusbarrett
A Marine Against a Crowd of Guards
I once responded to a drunken man on our property. When I went and talked to him, he was a bit scratched up and thought he was in San Francisco. He was a state away still. He was hitchhiking and got dropped off by a trucker who I assume got annoyed with his drunkenness and told him he had arrived….
He then stumbled through the middle of the woods towards our building, falling the whole way to it, thinking it was the city lights. I felt really bad for the guy, so I ended up getting him a coffee and some water, then let him sit in the security room with me while he sobered up. After that, he went on his merry way. Reddit User: [redacted]
An Escapee from the Zoo
I worked concert security over a summer. Anyone who’s done concerts will tell you that country and rap/hip-hop shows have the worst crowds. We ran into two other guards and wandered with them for a few minutes and noticed two massive guys shouting at each other. When I say massive, I found out one of them was a marine….
Anyway, we decide this doesn’t look like a good situation and go to calm them down. Immediately the marine starts swinging at us, and the others wrestle him to the ground. I’m 5’7, so I just pretend to help. The marine punches one guard in the face. All the other guards had to come and help calm down the situation. Reddit User: [redacted]
And That’s When the Cops Showed Up
I worked five years in security at various locations, from the good parts of the city to the bad parts, from government-regulated facilities to a factory. The weirdest stuff I’ve seen was probably the random chimpanzee that was walking down the street around 3 a.m. outside my guard shack. I live in Iowa….
It was the first time I’ve seen a chimp outside a zoo. I called the police station that was down the street and went back to watching movies. I never did hear what happened from that, but I learned I shouldn’t ask too many questions. I’m not dying for $9.50 an hour. Doubt I’ll have another story like this again. Reddit User: Fubarp
Proof of Anger Management Issues
Every security department saves some of the best clips. In other cases, some save clips that might be needed to use in future court dates or to protect them. The best clip I ever saw was a fight in a Wal-Mart parking lot. It started with two women arguing, and that quickly escalated into a full-blown catfight. That wasn’t the interesting part….
Their two male friends started getting into it. One pulls a tire iron out of the back of his truck. The second quickly goes to his car and pulls out a golf club. They start acting like two gorillas showing how tough they can be. The one with the tire iron starts swinging it around above his head when it slips out of his hand and whacks him. That’s when the cops showed up. Reddit User: j-sap
Getting Enjoyment from the Job
I worked security at a casino and a children’s mental hospital (not at the same time). At the hospital, the best thing that I ever saw when I was working there was a parent wailing on a psychiatrist’s car with a bat. Why were they busy doing this to the doctor’s car? It was because the doctor pointed something out….
The doctor had commented on this parent’s anger management issues. There it was, clear as day, and the psychiatrist clearly knew what he was talking about. At the casino I worked at, I saw a guy shovel $80,000 worth of chips into his underpants when the dealer turned her back. That one didn’t end well. Reddit User: [redacted]
Creepy Stuff Happening at the Hotel
I worked at a thrift store for a while and saw some weird stuff. We had a furniture storage semi-trailer outback where people would also drop off donations during the day. It was so common for people to break into the trailer that we just stopped locking it. It’s a thrift store, and we never prosecuted because frankly, it just wasn’t worth it….
One day, a couple of guys and I decide that if they want to violate our property, we’ll make it a bit more enjoyable for them. We rigged up a bucket of water on top of the semi door and tied it so it would fall when the door was opened. For us working at the thrift store, it was an enjoyable experience to watch their plans fall apart for at least one night. Reddit User: [redacted]
Ice Ice Baby
I worked security at a large hotel chain. Part of my job was to keep track of storage room visits by kitchen staff and other employees. There was a camera watching the big metal door of the storage room. One day, as I returned to my office, I noticed the storage room door was open, which was odd, because only I had keys for it, and I hadn’t opened it that day….
I checked the camera and the film; I caught the door slowly opening by itself. No one was there, and no way the wind could unlock a heavy metal door. I showed my boss, and he told me not to mention it. Still, word got out and some of the more superstitious employees avoided the storage room. There had been two suicides that previous year, some said it was related to them. Reddit User: [redacted]
Who Let the Dogs Out?
Photo: creativecommons.org/jepoirrier
I worked in IT for a resort that had an ice rink. Sounds pretty nice, right? Well, two guests decided to have intercourse in the middle of said rink at like one in the morning. The thing is that those cameras are motion-detecting because it’s dangerous. That means the security office immediately gets an alarm if they detect anything….
So, security had to go up there while they were mid-act and ask them not to do what they were doing. Unfortunately, their situation had placed them in the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go. Security had to watch as they carefully and awkwardly put their clothes back on and removed themselves from the rink. Reddit User: [redacted]
When You Think BBQ Sauce Is Wine
Here’s a silly story about security. While a shoplifter was running from us and heading into a wooded area, my supervisor started barking like a dog. We couldn’t see the woman and couldn’t hear her running anymore, but we saw her tracks in the snow. My supervisor kept barking and yelled that he was going to send the dog in after her….
She screamed that she was giving up and not to send the dog in. We got her cuffed, and the whole way walking back to our office, she was freaking out about how she’s afraid of dogs and to keep it away from her. She never caught on that there was no dog. I have to give it to my supervisor for thinking of something like that. Reddit User: [redacted]
First Day on the Job
I work for a food service center in an amusement park. One day, a guy snuck in the back of the store and stole a box of BBQ sauce packets, thinking it was a box of wine, which was kind of strange, considering both that we didn’t sell wine and that it clearly said BBQ sauce on just about every surface….
When a security guard, whom I happened to be friends with, caught up with him, not only did he deny he did anything while still holding the box, but he shouted at the security guard about the foundation of trust. The good news was we got our sauce back, and he got a year-long ban from the park and public intoxication charges! Reddit User: [redacted]
What a Stinky Situation
The first day I was working at a retail security job, I showed up a few minutes early and witnessed a man dressed in the company’s uniform getting tossed into the back of a police car by about four officers. He’s freaking out, struggling against them, screaming at the top of his lungs and is one very, very small step away from getting hit with a stun gun or pepper spray.
After getting inside, I discovered that he was the previous security guy and that they had coordinated his arrest with the police for the start of my shift. Per my new boss: “Not because we wanted to scare you. We just didn’t want a gap in coverage.” Business is business, I suppose, and it worked in my favor. Reddit User: [redacted]
It’s Not Always What You Think It Is
This crazy story doesn’t come from my current security gig, but when I did security in Obetz, Ohio. Yes, I still work in security after this. I was training a new guard, an immigrant from Somalia, I can’t remember his name; anyway, he was very unfamiliar with everything about America. One night around 3 a.m., we saw a skunk walking around outside of our guard shack….
My trainee had never seen one before and asked what it was. I explained that it was a skunk and exactly what would happen if he got too close to it. Well, he didn’t believe me and decided it looked like a cat. He got sprayed, and I made him stand outside the shack. It was also his first winter in Ohio. Reddit User: [redacted]
A Rihanna Security Story
I’m not a security guard, but when I moved into the building I live in, we have a channel on the TV that lets you see the security cameras in the building. One’s in the laundry room. In the laundry room, I could see what looked like a man standing behind a woman who was bent over the sink. I could see him moving a lot and floppy hair in front of him….
I was shocked. Then something happened that I wasn’t ready for. The man moved out of the way. The long floppy hair was attached to a very thin neck. Then it hit me. This was not some man having some fun with a woman after all. It was someone trying to unclog the drain with the handle end of a mop. Reddit User: Stuficer2
The Randomly Lit Candle
I do security at a private airport. We get a lot of big-time stars that come in. Well, one night at about 3 a.m. I’m at my post, which is pretty secluded from the rest of the terminal, and I hear a knock on my shack. I figure it’s my partners messing around with me, so I ignore it. About 30 seconds later, I notice some guy stumbling around the parking lot scooping stuff up off the ground….
I get out and ask the man if I can help him; he just yells back at me that he’s running late and that he needs to get this food to Rihanna. I help him scoop up the last of the food off the ground. As the man hurries off to give Rihanna her food, I notice the man has a large gash on his head and is bleeding profusely. I attempt to give him a paper towel, but he insists he’s fine. Reddit User: [redacted]
Doing a Good Deed
My old job was on a busy boulevard with an alley in the back. We had an open garage with access to said alley. We used to often catch people doing weird acts, selling stimulants, guys urinating, and things like that. But what took the cake was one morning around maybe 7–8 a.m.; a man was walking through the alley….
He stopped suddenly, went into our garage, lit a candle, and set it there by the wall, then walked away. It was so odd getting there and seeing a randomly lit candle. Checking the footage only left us with more questions. We wish we knew what on earth this guy was doing and what the candle was for. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Fox
My best story of witnessing something as a security guard is also my worst. Working security for Target, we had a guy come in and steal a bicycle pump. When we approached him in the parking lot, he had a bicycle with a cart attached. He was clearly homeless, and he was furiously trying to inflate one of the tires on the bike….
My boss had already called the cops, but after seeing the man’s circumstances, I couldn’t let him be arrested, so I ran back inside and paid for the pump myself. When the cops showed up, I told them everything was fine. My boss was mad at me for doing that; I don’t regret it one bit, though. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Painting Tasted Delicious
I was standing outside smoking a cigarette before my exterior rounds when I heard this insane screaming. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I knew it was some kind of animal in distress. It was quiet for a bit. A few minutes later, I see a fox walking around the corner with a rabbit in its mouth. It trotted over to a grassy area and placed the rabbit down….
It just chilled there for a bit, every once in awhile moving the catch around. Right before it decided to leave, I swear it looked up at where I was standing and gave me a nod. It’s not the most interesting thing in the world to happen, but just the way it all happened really stuck with me. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Unlucky Electrician
My dad is a security guard. Once, he was making his rounds and caught a kid, probably about seven years old, standing extremely close to one of the paintings in the museum that he worked at, giving it a kind of hypnotized stare. Slowly the kid leaned in and began to stick his tongue out, inching closer and closer to the painting….
Baffled, my dad closed in on him and yelled out, “HEY!” The kid jolted his head towards him, giving him a look of horror as he realized that he had been caught in the act. Then he turned back to the painting, gave it a monstrous lick, and then ran as quickly as he could out of the museum. Nobody ever caught him. Reddit User: [redacted]
When You Meat a Real Thief
I’m not security, but the CCTV monitor is at our reception desk. We had a guy in fitting some new TVs to the waiting room and was stupidly standing on a chair while putting them on the walls. He fell head over heels and laid there for a bit, completely motionless but conscious, as if wondering what had just happened….
What’s the kicker? There were two patients in the waiting room who completely blanked him, didn’t ask if he was ok, and didn’t ask anyone for help. They didn’t even laugh at the incident. It just completely blanked the poor guy. He was luckily fine other than a bruised ego, but we replayed that footage back many times. Reddit User: MinistryOfGeeks
The Gumhead Exhibit
I worked at a mall (yes, you could call me a “mall cop,” I’ve heard worse). I had my eyes on this guy in a long leather coat, and he was acting strangely in a grocery store. I walked out of the store and waited for him past the cashier checkpoint. The guy came walking past me. My plan was to have a quick talk with the guy to see if he had any problems….
As soon as he comes walking out, he sees me and starts bailing for the mall exit. As he starts running, it becomes very obvious that this guy has something to hide…literally. Out of his leather jacket, sausages, ham, bacon, every imaginable piece of meat you could get your hands on came falling out and left a meat trail all the way to the exit. Reddit User: [redacted]
A Security Fail Fit for YouTube
I work at an art gallery and really love it. One summer, they had an outdoor installation called “Gumhead.” It was a large bust of the artist that the exhibit belonged to. People were, of course, encouraged to stick their used gum to it, and by the end of the exhibit, it was absolutely covered in chewed, rained on, and heated up gum….
One night, I was sitting in the security room when I noticed a guy pacing around the bust. I zoomed in on him to find that he was picking the gum off the bust and shoveling it into his mouth. I wanted to throw up right then and there. I didn’t even know how to confront a person who would do something that gross. I’ll never forget that one. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Hilarious Alleyway Footage
I worked in a museum for a little while and had the head of security show me one of his guys (a supervisor, in fact) doing his best to hop over the admissions desk. The guy didn’t get enough air and landed squarely on the glass of the admissions desk. It shattered around him. It was pretty fantastic to watch on playback….
Even better, it wasn’t a move that he was pulling for some sort of security-related obligation, but it was after hours, and he was trying to impress a new hire. Let’s just say that he needs a lot more practice and should be someone who knows that this type of stupidity gets caught on camera, and we’re glad it did. Reddit User: kablooooooom
The Most Bizarre Moment
I’ve worked as a security guard for about twenty years now. So one day, I’m watching a CCTV at a place I worked at, and it comes to around midnight, I think. There’s this drunk guy who’s stumbling into the alleyway behind the building. I know he’s going to do something very stupid and entertaining most likely, so I keep watching….
He ends up sleeping for about 20 minutes. He then wakes up and staggers around some more. He stops and stares at the door. He then runs at the door headfirst and knocks himself out. He wakes up again, tries unsuccessfully to open the door, pulls the doorknob off, throws the doorknob at it, and then walks away. Reddit User: [redacted]
Dumpster Diving Pays Off
A local furry convention came into town. I was searching through cameras when I came upon a supposedly unused convention room. Inside was a man in his boxers wearing a dog mask. Around him were about eight other individuals who were also dressed as various animals. The other animals began to throw what appeared to be treats into the first guy’s mouth….
He, by the way, now had started to look and act like a dog. This went on for quite some time as each member of the group took their turn, acting like their animal as the others threw treats into their mouths. I watched this in absolute awe for a while; I didn’t know how to look away because it was so bizarre. Reddit User: adirtygerman
How Not to Be a Security Guard
I don’t have terribly cool stories, but earlier this year, I saw a guy headed into a dumpster area across the property. I headed on out there and confronted him, and the dude was just bumming through the trash. As I had my light on him, he pulled a perfectly intact Sega Genesis out of the dumpster….
For about ten minutes, I forgot that I was supposed to make him leave because we were both equally flabbergasted as to why someone would throw a perfectly good Genesis out in the dumpster of a vegan grill. I let him keep it at least. Maybe I should make dumpster diving my profession or get a cut from those who find stuff in the one I guard. Reddit User: Kothophed
The UFO Security Sighting
A buddy of mine was working mall security. They got a call to the nail salon. One of the ladies who was there had run up a big bill and said that her husband, Lionel Richie, would pay for it. Yes, that one. My friend had no training whatsoever and decided to cuff the 300-plus-pound lady. What happens next?
He manages to get one cuff on, and she starts screaming and slinging him around. He won’t let go, so she bolts, dragging him along with her. The constable on duty was laughing so hard that he was no help. They showed me the tape over and over and now use it as a guide for how not to do things for new hires. Reddit User: notaw
The Spider
I’m currently working as a security guard. The one night I was watching the CCTV and saw a sphere-like UFO hover above cars in the parking lot; then it flew around trees, over the field, then to the back of the building. Minutes after that happened, I saw another sphere-like object on the internal camera floating upstairs and out of view….
Needless to say, I was seriously freaked out that night by what I witnessed on the videos. The week after, I reviewed the footage again and realized that the first sphere-like object was a balloon, and the second one was a dust particle. I was freaked out because I watched an alien documentary just before that occurred, so that’s pretty funny. Reddit User: cruncha
Quitting After Six Months
I don’t know where these other security guards with interesting stories work, but the most interesting thing that happens around the factory I watch over at night is a spider that’s made a home in one of our camera housings. She likes to wave her arm around the lens of the camera, and it looks like she’s stomping on cars in the parking lot….
Then she’ll come out to eat every once in a while. That, and the ghost in the IT room that keeps shutting off the lights in the hallway right across from the IT room. Every once in a while at night the IT room door will open a little bit, then the lights will shut off in the hall. Jerks always send me to turn everything back on. Reddit User: Superjoe224
A Literal Human Zoo
I worked at a mental health facility that was partly abandoned. Patients would sometimes get off on the vacant floors and wander in complete darkness. I saw a lady once that got off the elevator at the abandoned surgical wing. She was a repeat offender of this. I watched her for a minute to make sure she wasn’t going to bolt from that floor….
She turned around in complete darkness (for her), pointed right at the camera that had to be almost impossible for her to see, and then put her finger over her mouth in a shushing motion. She then sprinted down the hall and out of sight. I then had to go get her. I could hear her laughing and slamming doors in total darkness. Needless to say, I quit after six months. Reddit User: [redacted]
Pranking the Nurses
I’ve worked at Walmart for almost five years. I’ve been a manager for almost 2.5 of them, which means I get access to all of the cameras of a literal people zoo. One of my favorites was a middle-aged woman in a dress walking to the Hallmark aisle. She browsed for a moment and then burst into tears, then started laughing and ran out of the store….
The second was two teenage boys following a woman around. After about 15 minutes, one of the little idiots tries to touch her, so she turns around and Sparta kicks the hell out of this stupid teenager. He falls back on the floor, lands flat on his bum, and literally starts crying. Reddit User: LanK1221
The Case of the Sleepwalker
When I was 16 and a patient in an adolescent female psychiatric ward, one night, we played a prank on the nurse in charge (a real jerk). I love nurses, but this guy was a fool. Before we went to bed, about eight or nine of us tilted our heads down, walked towards the cam, and pointed at the main security camera in the hall….
We tried to look like a bunch of ghosts with our hair over our faces, hunched over and stuff. We heard the nurse mutter, “Oh heck no,” and he barged out and started screaming at us. We weren’t allowed TV privileges for the next day, but that reaction was definitely worth it. I wonder what the security guy thought about that stunt. Reddit User: boeingsarah
The Good Stuff on Camera
While working security at a small hospital, at about 3 a.m., I saw a guy walk into the car park, do a single push up, and walk around to the back of the hospital. When I went down there to confront him, he was dazed and confused, with about a 3-second delay in responding but clearly not intoxicated or mentally affected….
When I asked him what he was doing, he said going home, at which point he walked to the house across the street, went inside, and turned the lights off. I realized as he walked away that he was wearing PJs and was barefoot. I was almost sure that he was sleepwalking. I deal with violent and aggressive people on a daily basis, but this stood out more than anything else. Reddit User: Michzm
The Random Midnight Car Chase
I’m not a security guard, but in high school, I worked at a Dunkin’ Donuts inside a gas station, so we had loads of cameras. We used to trade food with the gas station guys, and they would show us anything good from the cameras, mostly incompetent gas pumping. We had two sisters who worked the morning shift who abused the policy of free food….
They would routinely give away dozens of fresh donuts to their family. Unsurprisingly, one sister got caught and was fired. Her mother came in the next day, made herself a red slushy on the gas station side, and threw it across the counter at our manager. I think we replayed that video 20 times at the next shift. Reddit User: mzaber
The Ultimate Handbrake Fail
I work overnights, and I’ve seen a few weird things, but I think the weirdest thing I’ve seen was on Friday at around 1 a.m. A man walked into the parking lot, sat on the ground outside for a while, and was just browsing his phone for maybe 20 minutes. Then a truck came up, picked him up, they left, and I figured that would be that. Nope.
Maybe an hour later, I saw flashing lights on one of the cameras, and that truck was back in the parking lot being chased by maybe three police cars. This dude was weaving in and out of cars and just being a general nuisance and then left. The whole thing lasted not even 5 minutes. It was pretty odd. Reddit User: DiFeh
The Tale of the Pizza Thief
I started working at a petrol station three weeks ago, and my manager had parked his car at the top of the car park, which is on quite a hill. I was sitting in the security room keeping an eye on the surveillance footage when the craziest thing happened. I think his car’s handbrake failed and his car started to roll back.
It resulted in the car rolling from the top of the petrol station straight through the forecourt, narrowly missing someone and smashing into the back of another person’s car. At the time, it was scary. However, it was hilarious to watch afterwards, especially since no one was hurt that day. My boss was so mad; nothing I could have done though. Reddit User: karlalex96
The Boogie Monster
I didn’t catch him in the act, but I watched a guy steal my pizza. I was working the night shift on a Friday night and ordered pizza for my lunch. I had leftovers, which I put in the staff room fridge so I could have them for lunch the next day. Saturday evening I came into work, worked until lunchtime, then went to grab my pizza only to discover that it was gone….
I checked the camera feed, of course. During the day, some random guy came into our office, went to the staff room, and stole my pizza. He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box, and the day shift guy didn’t even notice. What? No questions, just walked in and was never heard from again. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Pizza Pie Face
I work in loss prevention here. I work for a retail store. This is a weird one. A lady was sitting in the deli with some unpaid food. I zoomed in on her face, and she proceeded to dig deep in her nose, pull out a large green booger, then begin to smear it on her teeth. I immediately switched camera shots….
I was literally scarred for the rest of the day and found it really difficult to eat. Whenever I’m in the store now, I can’t go into the deli because of what it makes me think of. She had food right in front of her, but she decided to eat her boogers instead. Some people really make me question my sanity. Reddit User: SaladTactileMembers
I’m no security guard, but I used to work as a night manager in a backpacker hostel in Sydney, Australia. I once witnessed a grown man aggressively plant his face into a pizza at 3 a.m. after a night out. As I approached him to check on the situation, he ran up the stairs and just disappeared when I got there….
I went back to the reception only to see him walk into the restroom on the CCTV with the pizza. Not sure what happened after that. I’m assuming something had upset him that night, and he decided to take it out on his pizza. He was going to get quite a fright in the morning when he saw his face smeared with tomato sauce. Reddit User: TingLoy92