Let’s Play Spoons
Drafting a will is a task that is taken very seriously. After all, it’s dealing with the most personal requests of those who are about to pass away. They might have family heirlooms to hand down to their children or a big insurance policy to share among their grandkids. In some cases, people even draft their wills before they get sick, to make sure everything is outlined properly….
You never do know when it’s time to go meet your maker, so even though it might seem like a daunting task, creating a will is important. It’s your chance not only to pass along your favorite items, but to tell people what you really think and feel…for better or worse. In those not-so-great situations, reading the will out loud can be a tense time.
I’m a lawyer. Not reading the will, but a dying guy wanted to leave bequests to pretty much everybody he had known still living in three countries. We’re talking one percent to this guy and another two percent to that lady. Then he changed his mind about one beneficiary or the other, which required the development of a spreadsheet to recalculate all the other bequests whenever he would change that guy’s gift….
Churn, Baby, Churn
It would go from one percent to a measly one and a half percent. Fortunately for my sanity, it was a pot of cash; if he had changed physical bequests (half my spoons to my cousin Lydia, the other half – no! Five-eighths!), we would have had to drop him. That’s just way too much to handle for one lawyer. Reddit User: duckshoe2
What do you think was of value back in the 1700s in the rural UK? Well, I can tell you that exact answer from someone who probably wasn’t royalty. An ancestor of mine in the rural UK in the 1700s died and left his farm and everything to his nephew because he had no children. Apparently, his surviving wife only got “the second-best bed,” but that wasn’t all….
Love Those Felines
She also got a provision to receive three pounds of butter per week for the rest of her life. We thought this was incredibly mean, but we wonder whether this butter was meant as an income; I mean, who can eat three pounds of butter per week? Not that she would be eating it directly, but why would you even cook with that much butter? Reddit User: [redacted]
I’m telling this story on behalf of my dad here. He one time had a woman leave millions of dollars to three stray cats that she had been feeding, and he had to catch them and put them in crates to be shipped to Texas, where they lived a life of luxury in a cat resort. Yes, this is a true story….
Good to Know
Another guy had a safety deposit box that was massive, like the size of a small dresser. Inside it was filled with coins that they had to count. It turns out it was several hundred thousand dollars worth of coins, but I’m not really sure how my dad knew all of this stuff or if it was even true. Cool cat story, though. Reddit User: [redacted]
My wife and I went to a lawyer to have our wills drafted. However, once we were there, the lawyer told us of a client he had that had a great deal of money. His kids were fighting over it before he was dead. The man liked the monkey exhibit and the local zoo; he liked to just sit and watch them all the time….
Deliver Them by Hand
When he died, the lawyer had to tell his family that he willed all of his money and estate to the zoo for the monkey exhibits. He now has a bench dedicated to his honor at one of the local zoos. He said they were livid and tried to fight. The lesson is, don’t be petty and greedy; love your family unconditionally. Reddit User: maxiums
My sister spent a couple of years working for a long-standing organization in Philly that’s been accepting bequeathments since the late 18th century. Her job was to help organize the various trusts they had to administer, as well as going around advising people not to do things like this and just leave them a lump sum. People had a habit of leaving them an annual trust (that $5/year was a princely sum in 1813, but by now, it’s just a complete nuisance)….
One Penny
Another thing they would do is leave them ridiculously specific things to do every year. The worst example I remember (I’m a little fuzzy on the details) was a woman who left funds to purchase books for schoolchildren in Liberia. The problem is, her funds now don’t buy more than a couple of books, and she left instructions for someone to deliver the books, not to ship them. Reddit User: castillar
When my grandparents on my mother’s side were dying of cancer, my uncle (black sheep I never met) wanted to know what he was getting from the inheritance when they died. Not “how’s mom and dad” or “what can I do to help.” My grandparents were still going to give him an inheritance after all the screwed up things he did to them, but my mom (a power of attorney) convinced them that they shouldn’t be manipulated by him anymore.
Nursing School
They ended up writing him an email back, telling him that he wouldn’t be included in the will anymore. He ended up threatening to burn their house down and my house too, ending me and my family for betraying him. You know what my grandparents did? They ended up including him in the will and sending him exactly one penny in check form by mail. That was the last time I have heard from him since. Reddit User: dpuertos
What does a guy do with all his money when he has a double life? Nobody ever thinks it will happen to their family, but it actually happens way more than people think. It is like out of a movie. I work for a brokerage firm, and I often deal with account beneficiaries. Not that part, but this is where it gets pretty juicy….
Coats and Toilets
We had a client leave his entire account to a dancer. After the client died, his wife discovered her husband had left his life savings to Jane “Sparkles” Smith. She was upset. Really upset, actually, to say the least. Can you imagine learning a crazy secret like that when you are mourning the death of your husband? Reddit User: cupanope
Lawyer here. We normally don’t actually do a reading of the will here like they do in the movies. It’s much more boring. We just fire up the probate and send notice to all the heirs. The weirdest one I saw was a guy that was worth about two million dollars who left “my Carhartt jacket and one dollar to my son, X….”
That’s Bold
“I hope it keeps him warm when he winds up sleeping under a bridge.” The kid had a drug issue. I also had someone leave an antique commode to one of his kids. He considered an elderly toilet to be a family heirloom. The guy was actually pretty excited to get the toilet. It was the last thing they had left to remember their grandma by. Reddit User: Troutmandoo
I’m not a lawyer, but I’m a deputy public administrator, and we find wills often. We deal with individuals who died without any known family, or the family is estranged and we have to locate them. One of the wills I read said “no freaking lawyers” in the text (with some extra swear words in capital, bold letters for emphasis….)
Four-Legged Family Members
That one could have just been left alone, sure, but this next one had a special request. The other one stated, “I would like crack powder stuffed in my ears and cremated.” We are assuming he didn’t have any extra money or assets to leave for his family or friends to remember him by with a request like that. Reddit User: thorface
I’m a trust attorney. I can’t tell you how many times the surviving spouse from a blended marriage cuts out the step-kids. They always try to justify it to me even though I really don’t care; I’m not there to judge. Los Angeles residents are especially concerned about their pets. I’ve written trusts where the pets inherit more than the kids….
Strange People
It’s always awkward when I have to tell a child they were disinherited. No easy way to tell a person. This story is really sad, but it’s also true. So, if you have a beloved pet in your family and you’re more of the black sheep type, don’t get your hopes up. Seriously. You will probably be disappointed. Reddit User: she_is_the_slaughter
My office has had two notably bizarre estate wills. The first: the mother stipulated in her will that one of her sons was not to receive his portion of her estate until he went to a dentist. The second stipulated that her two cats were to be euthanized upon her death and cremated with her.
Shoot
Oh wait, I just remembered another…. Though it was in preparation of an older lady’s will, she wanted it in there for her to be buried next to her late husband on the family property. He had died a few years before her, and we had to question whether his body or ashes were buried on the property, neither of which is particularly legal. I never got a firm answer from her. Reddit User: ALighterShadeOfPale
Growing up, my brother and I played the beloved hand game rock, paper, scissors over every little thing. My dad wanted the will to have that if both he and mom died together, to have me and my brother play one hand of rock, paper, scissors for everything. Of course, this didn’t happen in the end, which is probably a good thing….
The Devil
Could you imagine us mourning over the death of both of our parents, then being forced into a silly game for priceless (and valuable) belongings in an all-or-nothing showdown? The loser would be so sad, mad, and just everything bad. I mean yeah in theory it sounds funny, but in real life, I’m just not so sure. Reddit User: Zythen1975
No, I’m not a lawyer, but this crazy will story happened with my family. My grandfather-in-law’s daughter tried to change his will without him knowing about it. We are not really sure how she even did this dirty deed. After he passed, they were all gathered at the reading. Instead of thinking it would be a huge list of things and heirlooms, we were totally wrong….
The Water Girl
The only thing he left her was a really nice bronze sculpture of the devil (or Pan?) playing the flute. No joke. Honestly, she should have taken that too, since it was made in her likeness. Okay, that was mean, but so was what she did to my grandfather-in-law. Maybe I’m missing part of the story, but from what I know, it was just as bad as it sounds. Reddit User: the_patman
My uncle left his business to his sister and never updated the will after he got married and had kids. They had an old water cooler he had taken from his office back to his home when it was replaced. After all, it was his business, his water cooler, and his home. He could transport it back and forth as he pleased….
People Are So Greedy
However, his sister came to the wake to pick it up, as it was still, technically, belonging to the business. What a total brat. She is obviously just bitter over the money and the prospect of losing some. Wills are the worst when they should make people feel some relief after a grieving process. Reddit User: funkensteinberg
Sometimes there are no wills in place because a death is so untimely. That happened to a family I know. Everyone in the neighborhood was shocked when it happened. The town was usually safe and quiet; there was rarely crime, much less a murder. So anyway, a really nice guy in my area was killed, and no one could figure out why anyone would want to kill him….
The Roof Is on Fire
It turns out he was the caretaker of his mentally challenged brother, who resented having to ask for advances on his trust money. The brother did it. Everyone was appalled when they found out the truth. That poor mother had to go through a lot, but it was a while ago, so hopefully everyone can heal over time. Reddit User: HappilySingle
There are so many over-the-top and crazy will stories out there, but this one really is a scorcher. Maybe it was justified, but perhaps not. Anyway, a friend of mine is a lawyer. He had one client who, in accordance with his will, which contained the permits to do so, had his entire estate burned while his family watched….
Awww Snap
It sounds pretty cold, but apparently, the guy died from a fairly easily treatable cancer; he ran out of money, and his relatives would not help. Okay, it doesn’t sound cold at all if that is the case, right? Cancer is a terrible thing, and it shouldn’t cost so much to cure it. It’s just ridiculous. Reddit User: Yurei2
Let’s assume you have a good-for-nothing husband. Who equally has a mean and rude daughter. You have a son, but it was secretly with the love of your life. How would your will sound? Well, I happen to have read one out loud, and it went just how you think it would. It was hilarious, but hopefully fitting for the people involved….
That’s What You Get
“Frank, if your fat monkey heart is still beating, then congratulations. I want you to know that I hereby leave all of your money to Bruce Mathis, the real father of my children. A handsome man with a beautiful soul. For my darling son Dennis, I give you my house on the sole condition that Frank is not allowed in. Deandra, you get nothing.” Reddit User: Partners
The husband/father was a real difficult controlling jerk (rich, self-made farmer) and assumed he would definitely die before his wife. He thus worded the will in terms of the “first to die” and the “longest living” (translating from Afrikaans here, so I hope the terminology is the same). He set up the will so that two of his farms go to his sons and everything else gets sold and goes to a trust fund….
Fight Club
His wife (the “longest living”) would have to go to a pre-specified retirement village and get a specified monthly stipend to live from (he did not want her to be able to be frivolous with her money). Anyway, his wife had a sudden stroke and passed away long before him. The farms went to his sons, who refused point-blank to continue taking his controlling crap, and he had to go and live in the retirement village with a small monthly stipend. Reddit User: Joe1972
My father-in-law was an accountant for some rather wealthy people. One of them was asking him to assist with writing up his will worth millions. The final addition he suggested was that if the children contested it, they get nothing. That seems reasonable, honestly, in the hopes that your children will get along, especially since you literally just died….
Who Came Out on Top?
They contested it for years, so sadly, his plan didn’t work. You would think when someone close to you passes away, like a parent, you wouldn’t care about money. That should be the last thing on your mind. Unfortunately, that is not the case for most people who are selfish and greedy, even with the most loving parents. Reddit User: dougj182
My crazy mom did this to me. She left her house to her eldest grandson, my nephew; dribs and drabs of cash to her other grandkids, the amount depending on how much she liked them; a big wad of cash to my erratic alcoholic brother; and a few thousand to me, with the caveat that if I contested my share or any aspect of the will, I was to get nothing….
A Country Girl
Mom pretty much had it in for everyone. I had my own attorney evaluate the will, and he said it was legally hilarious and definitely vulnerable to challenge, but it would take a lot of time and money. I walked away with my few thousand bucks and got on with my life. The nephew who was bequeathed the house renounced the will, as he was still in college applying for grants and scholarships, and owning a $500k piece of property would have wrecked his fiscal profile; he also hated the house and everything about it. Reddit User: AnotherPint777
We had a client who was a widowed farmer who owned several pieces of heavy equipment, like Caterpillar trucks. He had two sons who were already working with him at the farm and a daughter who was working in the city. He willed the heavy equipment to the daughter, which didn’t really make sense, since she was the city girl….
Hungry, Why Wait?
When we asked why, since this equipment was essential to the farm, he said that the farm was to go his kids equally, but his girl needed to know he always wanted her to join their venture and dispel her notions of alienation because she was a girl. That’s nice he didn’t want his little girl to be left out. Reddit User: nerdychick19
I’m a lawyer. I once amended a will for a doctor in which he disinherited his son by removing everything he had intended to bequeath. I’m not sure why he wanted to do that. Maybe something happened between the two. After all, the rich father was a doctor and would have some money and assets to pass on after his death….
Blended Families
Nevertheless, the doctor replaced the items the son was supposed to receive in the will with a “manure spreader.” I didn’t ask any questions, because changing a will is an easy thing to do. But one day, that doctor will die, and his son will have to essentially be told to “eat crap” courtesy of his father’s will. Reddit User: TyroneSuave
My maternal grandpa was wealthy. He divorced my maternal grandma, remarried, and promptly dropped dead of a heart attack. He was only 48 and had no will, so everything went to his new wife, my mom’s stepmother. She was actually really nice and was planning on making sure that everything was “fair” until she died in a car accident six months later….
RIP Fido
She was a widow herself prior to marrying grandpa and had a now orphaned 15-year-old son from the previous marriage who got everything. My mom and her siblings had to go to the auction at their childhood home and buy back as much of their heirlooms and memories as they could afford (and, truthfully, they stole some of what they couldn’t). Reddit User: nilockmoldred
I heard this story from another lawyer, but I’m pretty sure there is some truth behind it. A rich old lady leaves her entire sizable estate in a trust for the care and maintenance of her dog, as long as the dog shall live. Yes, a dog gets everything. That probably isn’t the first time you heard that one, but it gets better….
A Gift
On the dog’s death, the trust was to pay out in full to the son. Apparently, the son had Rover put down the day after the funeral and presented a demand to the trustee the very next day for the trust payout. She should have seen that one coming, but she already passed away, so it was way too far beyond her control anymore. Reddit User: [redacted]
A woman came in after her mother’s funeral with some correspondence from the insurance company. She was worried there was a bill she needed to pay and was coming to tell us her mom had died. She shared that in the last few years, her mom had slipped into dementia, and she singlehandedly took care of her, and she missed her but just was run ragged and hadn’t taken a vacation in forever….
Two Families
I realized what she had was not a health policy; it was a life insurance policy naming the daughter as the beneficiary for about 50K. She said, crying, “I have no idea what she left that for; everything’s been paid for.” I said, “This might be her telling you to go on that vacation and relax.” It was so touching, and she had no idea that the policy existed. Reddit User: LadyTarTar
My estate planning professor told us about a guy who had two families, neither of whom knew about the other until it was time to read the will. This wasn’t like a love child/mistress type scenario; both were nuclear multi-kid families. Both of the families showed up for what had to be one of the most awkward will readings in history….
What a Brat
I don’t really know how he pulled it off other than that he was away on “business” frequently. I am also not sure how the meeting went, although I would basically pay to see it today. All of the children and the two women were probably mortified. Their sorrow was probably transformed into complete and utter madness. Reddit User: PrivateEyesWatchingU
I know these things usually come from lawyers and whatnot, but here, have my mediocre will story anyway. You will like it. My great grandmother left her daughter “just one dollar and not a single penny more so help me god.” And yes, that is a direct quote from her will. Why did she do that to her daughter? Well, it’s quite the story….
He’s Watching You
That was before I was born, though, so I’m not sure what she did to deserve it, but my grandmother (not the daughter with the dollar) said that when they all read the will, her sister had a full-blown temper tantrum, and no one heard from her since. I guess she had it coming, but no, I’m actually not sure why. Reddit User: redbirdsandwords
In my trusts and estates class in law school, we read a case about a man who left everything to his wife, but only if she got his body stuffed and left it on the living room couch forever. You know, like a taxidermy animal. Or better yet, a teddy bear. He was dead serious. No pun intended….
Joke’s on You
Luckily for her, the court invalidated that part of the husband’s will. But why did he demand this in his will? Part of the reasoning was that it would make it impossible for her to date or remarry again after his death unless she had her husband’s creepy dead body glaring at anyone who came to see her. Reddit User: Luna_Lovelace
My grandfather hated his neighbor. They lived next to each other for over 20 years. I remember well my grandfather raging at every opportunity about this guy. We never saw them speak to each other. In grandpa’s will, he left the guy ten thousand dollars (yes $10K), a car, and golf clubs. We were dumbstruck as to why he would do such a thing….
Sold to the Highest Bidder
It turns out that they were good buddies from the Army. When they coincidently bought homes next to each other, they decided to play a long prank with both their families. It worked out until one died! Luckily, before that, it turns out that they actually played golf together two to three times per week and had a monthly poker game for years. Reddit User: kooknboo
I’m not a lawyer, but here’s sort of a sad story. When my dad’s mother died, her will stipulated that everything was to be liquidated and the money distributed equally between her children and grandchildren. Fine, but literally everything had to be sold. There were family heirlooms, jewelry, things my grandfather (he was a carpenter) had made, and so much more….
Can’t Forget the Canine
There were so many sentimental family things that my father and his siblings badly wanted, but it all had to be sold. They all went to the auction to try to buy some of the more sentimental items back but weren’t always successful. It was heartbreaking, and I’m not sure what made my grandmother think it would be a good idea. Nobody wanted the money; they wanted her wedding ring and the clocks my grandfather had made and all that. Reddit User: miss-robot
When my great uncle died, he left his beloved dog to his longtime girlfriend. All of his money went into a pet trust for said dog, which turned out to be quite a large sum of money. His two kids got nothing. As far as I know, he didn’t have a bad relationship with them or anything; he just thought the world of his little dog….
Cha-Ching
Can you imagine being those kids? If anything, they would want to take care of the dog, too. However, the girlfriend probably let them visit the pup. After all, you know how some families treat pets like family, almost like their…wait. He did have kids, and they got nothing. The girlfriend was probably mad, too. Reddit User: paleperson
One of my college buddies’ dad died from cancer in our second year. It wasn’t a sudden death; he had been battling it for a couple of years. When my friend came back to school, he casually mentioned that his dad left him and his sister $7 million each. It turns out that his dad had hit the lottery before my friend was born and invested all the money away to help pay for college….
Not the Right Gold
His mom got a nice chunk of change also. He grew up thinking they were just an ordinary middle-class family. We had a glorious third and fourth year of college thanks to my loaded friend. He did know his dad won the lottery, but it was never mentioned to him or his sister that it was a lot of money. Reddit User: LutherJackson
I used to work for an accountant, and we used to make wills sometimes as well. There were a bunch of regular ones, but some were a little strange. Others were mean. Well, I remember one in particular that was both strange and cruel. To me, it was a little funny, but only because I wasn’t related to the guy….
The Farm or School
An older man probably around 70 left all his money to his mistress while his wife only got the goldfish. I had to tell him that if his wife contested it, she would most definitely win; he said he didn’t care. I’m not sure why he was still with his wife if he felt that strongly about his mistress and her. Reddit User: [redacted]
I’m from Iowa. Although I no longer live in a rural area, smart families (we are talking big rich farming families) would designate one kid who would continue the farm. What about the plethora of others? The others would be backed in whatever business/trade/schooling they wanted but would not be getting the farm. Do you think this upset the children, especially as adults?
Be Nice
Absolutely not. They were raised that splitting the farm ruins the farm and makes it so no one sibling can make a living off of it. In order to keep things going, this is the way some of the wills are done, and everyone accepts it. Of course, they assume there will be little ones that still need to go to college even though the father is passing away. Reddit User: fenrir511
What do you do when you know your son is a love child of someone else? Well, I know a will that read as follows: “To my wife, I leave her lover and the knowledge that I was never the fool she thought me. To my son, I leave the pleasure of working for a living; for 25 years, he thought the pleasure was all mine….”
What Time Is It?
That is seriously the best dis ever, especially for a will. It was in my Wills & Trusts book in law school as an example of people talking crap in their wills. You’re supposed to discourage them as lawyers from doing so, which I totally understand. However, it doesn’t make it any less funny if that really happened to someone. Reddit User: DoctorDanDrangus
This story is the best will story I personally know of so far in my lifetime. The father had a valuable antique grandfather clock; he also had two daughters. His solution: If I die on an even day, daughter A gets the clock, an odd day, and daughter B gets it. The daughter who did not get the clock got an equivalent cash award based on the value of the clock….
Richie Rich
I know of the event because I had to service the clock several times over the years. The daughter had to pay to get her clock serviced, so who do you think got the better deal? On the other hand, the cash is probably gone, and the clock daughter still has something to pass on in her will. I wonder if the sisters get along. Reddit User: chronos56
When I was a clerk in law school at the state court of appeals, the adult children of a rich woman tried to invalidate the will. Basically, the woman was worth about 8 million dollars, and all the children were working professionals earning 6 or 7 figures. Well, the woman had used the same hairdresser for multiple years and had something for her….
Confessions
The rich woman left a considerable amount in a trust for the hairdresser’s children’s education. The remainder of the estate was given to different charities. Basically, the kids were mad; they didn’t get a cut. Maybe they felt entitled to it, but in all honesty, the mother was generous to donate to those who really needed it more than her children. Reddit User: PhantomTireBuyer
My grandmother was adopted and an only child. She took care of her parents until they died. A week before my great-grandfather died, the pastor from their church locked himself in the bedroom with him and had his will changed. When the will was read, it stated that my grandmother was not a person of any relation, and nothing from the estate was to go to her….
Bad Blood
Also, the pastor had her adoption records destroyed so that there would be no proof of a relationship. Because of this, she never was able to find out anything about her birth family. All of his estates went to the church. Grandma was a little raw about this, which makes sense for so many reasons, from her being loved as a daughter to the pastor abusing his power. Reddit User: Kandoc1970
I’m a law student and paralegal. A client had previously executed a will that bequeathed a significant percentage of her estate to her husband’s children. Her husband passed away, and we revised her will to remove all reference to her husband’s children. I guess she was only trying to appease him while he was alive, but that wasn’t the only thing….
My House, My Rules
Additionally, all of her jewelry that was going to go to her husband’s daughter ended up going to her housemaid. There must have been some bad blood between the woman and her husband’s children. Maybe they thought she was the evil stepmom, or perhaps she really was. I mean, the woman did have a housemaid, after all. Reddit User: mrcosmicna
My mother’s father’s will apparently made the lawyer a bit uncomfortable to read out loud. They were a farming family with three daughters. He thought my grandmother was a nice piece of booty (to put it nicely) and was paranoid about all the suitors upon his demise. He left the farm to his wife but their house to the daughters with a stipulation….
The deceased man wanted to make sure that the wife was allowed to live there…unless she remarried. She sold the farm and used that to buy the house off my mother and her sisters. She didn’t remarry, but she wasn’t going to let anyone control her either. She was a pretty smart and loyal lady. Reddit User: jumb1