She Was Obsessed With The Office
It can be tough to wade through the dating pool to find that perfect person who fits you like a puzzle piece. Sometimes, you can be hanging out on a date, things are going great, and then all of a sudden, your date confesses his obsession with collecting…taxidermied rats? Every now and then, the creep factor gets just a little too high (unless you’re into stuffed rats, maybe).
People never get into relationships thinking, “Wow, I really hope this person is a disaster and makes my life a living nightmare.” It’s always kind of surprising when relationships don’t go the way we thought they would, but the people of the internet banded together to share stories of when things went creepy real fast. Read on to find out what happened.
I dated this crazy girl who was obsessed with NBC’s The Office. When I told her that I watched the show, she came back to me the next day with the entire script from the first few seasons. She read to me her favorite lines from each of the episodes and forced me to listen.
Try the “Ignore Him” Thing
When she got to about season 2 of her favorite quotes, I broke up with her. She then threatened to blow up my car. I was paranoid about driving for the next month. Reddit user: [redacted]
I was seeing a girl. She and I were out on the town one night when her ex walked into the same bar we were at. I’m not the awkward type, really. Instead of doing the weird “ignore him” thing, I decided I’d go greet him and be cordial. It was a small bar, no avoiding it.
All Her Knives
As I start to walk over, she grabs me and turns me around, kisses me while he watches, and yells at him, “Since you wouldn’t have babies with me, I found someone who will!” Reddit user: [redacted]
Nothing is scarier than not knowing someone’s motive for being so creepy. I’m just glad he left. I was sort of dating a guy who was crashing at my place. One day I came home and found stab marks in the love seat, chairs, and all the hollow doors. Also, the tips were broken off all my knives.
She Kept Them All
Then he called some friends to pick him up and move out, telling them we fought about something. It was really weird, but I was not sad to see him go. Reddit user: [redacted]
Doesn’t involve a girlfriend, but just someone that I hooked up with one night. After doing it with her, I got out of bed. She asked where I was going, and I told her to go throw the condom away. She then told me not to throw it away and to give it to her instead. It was super weird and honestly gross.
She Made His Facebook
Turns out she was keeping a collection of all the condoms guys had used. Needless to say, I got out as soon as I could. Reddit user: [redacted]
I had a girlfriend who made a Facebook for me without my knowledge. Little did I know that she had kept it up even 2 years after we had broken up. The worst part was that she had updated pictures of me up until the day I confronted her about it. It was like a secret second life on the internet.
Might Be Demon-Possessed
She also knew what I had done and where I had been on exact dates. But she’s a bold ex. She once, not too long ago, asked me out while I was with my current girlfriend. Reddit user: [redacted]
My husband talks in his sleep, and one night, I woke up to him howling. He sat up in bed, looked around the room, and stared at me with a blank expression. Then he grabbed my arm and pretended to eat it. I was pretty freaked out by this point, so I asked him what he was doing.
Her Boyfriend Is Possessed
He replied, “They told me to,” rolled over, and went back to sleep. Another occasion he woke me up to tell me that there were “people in the corner” of our incredibly dark bedroom. Reddit user: [redacted]
My boyfriend acted possessed. Once I woke up to him sitting up in bed, pointing at something by the window. Then he dragged his arm across the room, over to the doorway into the living room, as if he was tracking something. I asked him what he was doing. His response: “Just watching what came in.”
He Was a Locksmith
Oh, and another time, I woke up to him sitting at the edge of the bed, just looking at me with a smile on his face. When I asked what he was doing, he just smiled even wider. Reddit user: [redacted]
You’d think dating someone that can help you with your lock needs would be great. When I was in college, a guy took interest in me and later that week, he gave me a present: a working key to my front door. Apparently he was a locksmith and had somehow memorized the pattern on my house key when I left it on my desk. I had to change the locks on my house.
Vaseline Handprints
Note to self: Never date a locksmith. He might have been a nice guy, but you never know. Reddit user: [redacted]
Ten years or so ago, I was dating this chick. We went out for a couple of months but broke up for some reason I don’t quite recall. What I do recall is that shortly after we broke up, she broke into my apartment while I was at work and cleaned it.
She Bought a Ladder
She cleaned it really well, actually. And then she put Vaseline handprints all over the bathroom mirror, the windows in the apartment, and on the other smooth glossy surfaces throughout the apartment, like the microwave and the stove window. Reddit user: [redacted]
This girl took clingy to a new level. I was dating this girl for about 6 months, and she could never let me be alone. She always had to know what I was doing. Right before I broke up with her, I caught her looking through my window to see what I was doing.
He Was a Pathological Liar
It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t live on the 2nd floor. She brought a ladder to my house to see what I was doing in my room upstairs. That “escalated” quickly. Reddit user: [redacted]
My very first boyfriend ever was a pathological liar among many, many other things. This is one of my favorite lies he told: he brought me a teddy bear and a bar of chocolate that were sent to him by “his friend in Puerto Rico” who loved everything she heard about me.
She’s a Nut
She wanted me to have this gift. This was about 3 days after she, apparently, “went missing and was never found.” We dated for maybe 2-3 months. Weirdly, he’s married and I’m not. Reddit user: [redacted]
This story is absolutely crazy. Not particularly creepy, just awesomely vindictive: an ex-girlfriend, knowing that I have a potentially fatal nut allergy, returned my clothes, console games, etc. to me. By way of filling the bag holding said items with peanuts and leaving it on my doorstep while I was at work.
A Piece of Your Heart
What makes it creepy for me is imagining her in the checkout line at the store buying the nuts. Reddit user: [redacted]
He’s not a boyfriend. A boy who used to have a crush on me (in high school) offered me a ride to a gig I had at my college. Once I had buckled in, he said this: “I want to ask you a question, but don’t jump to any conclusions.” So that was already a promising start to the conversation.
Radio Fun Gone Wrong
“Would it be romantic if a guy were to have a small piece of his heart surgically removed and given to a girl to wear on a chain as a necklace or something? I’m not sure how you could preserve it, but is that romantic?” …No. Reddit user: [redacted]
A girl called the radio show for a bit they were doing. She gave them her boyfriend’s name, and they called him. They told him he won free flowers for Valentine’s Day. When they asked who he wanted the name on the card made out to, he said a different girl’s name.
Steroids in Her Food
The girlfriend starts yelling, “Who on earth is that?!” He starts flipping out. The guy proceeds to tell the DJ he broke up with this girl 6 months ago. She was stalking him and used the radio bit to get info on the new girl. Reddit user: [redacted]
I was underweight when we started dating. Within about a month, I’d gained about 20lbs and eventually gained 65lbs (about five months in). I was really freaked out and couldn’t figure out why I was gaining so much weight. It turned out that he was putting steroids and other things in my food and drinks to make me gain weight because I wasn’t “big enough.”
I’ll Show You Where She’s Hiding
Needless to say, I dumped him, and I’m proud to tell you that I’ve lost those 65 horrific pounds and feel great! Reddit user: [redacted]
My current long-term girlfriend claims I talk frequently in my sleep. She says she woke to the sound of me chuckling next to her in bed. When she groggily asked what was so funny, I sucked in a sharp breath and whispered, “Come with me, I’ll show you where she’s hiding.” She just sorta didn’t move.
Railroad Lights
I don’t think anyone wants to know where she’s hiding. Who’s “she”? I hope neither of us find out. Reddit user: [redacted]
Here’s a strange one. One night, she was acting distant until she eventually said “Can you leave?” Being mildly confused since we hadn’t been arguing or anything, I replied, “Uh, alright. But what’s up?” And then she replied, “I was riding my bike earlier today, and I got stopped at the train tracks.”
She Wanted Him to Watch
“I was staring at the blinking railroad lights, and I think it was a message from god telling me to stop being with you. Raising an eyebrow, I replied, “Alright then, you have a good night” and hightailed it out, never to call her again. Reddit user: [redacted]
This girl I was seeing dragged me into her bathroom. Naturally, I thought it was sexy time and was really excited because we hadn’t gotten very far yet. However, she just had to pee and wanted me to watch. When I tried to leave, she started shouting about how I didn’t like her. So, I watched her pee.
It Wasn’t a Baby Shower
We didn’t stay together long after that. I guess she thought no one can break the strong bond of watching each other pee. Reddit user: [redacted]
An ex-girlfriend told me we were going to a friend’s baby shower. She parked behind this church. The back of the building looked like any other. We entered the site entrance, unaware that I was entering the basement of a church. We went into this lit-up room where a number of people were.
He’s Always Outside
There was a statue of Jesus and the works. It wasn’t a baby shower. It was an attempt to “save” me from atheism. Needless to say, I started this story with “ex.” Reddit user: [redacted]
My ex would make little gifts and then tell me he needed to go into my room for a bit so that he could hide his gifts. One day, I said goodbye to him, and he told me to call him when I found his gift. When I called, he told me to open my window, but he didn’t explain why. I was kinda excited.
She Found His Grandpa
He had been waiting outside my window the whole time. Now my friends and I have a running joke that he’s always outside there, watching and waiting. Reddit user: [redacted]
This girl I knew from high school came to visit me for a long weekend, and at the end of the weekend, she tried to push a relationship on me. I declined politely. I took her to the airport, and we said our goodbyes. My birthday was the following week, and I got a random e-mail with a link in it to a video.
She Filmed Herself Pooping
She tracked down my grandfather at an old age home and taped him singing happy birthday. My grandfather still occasionally asks who she was. Reddit user: [redacted]
One day, I crashed on the couch. Woke up to find my now ex-girlfriend crapping in my hands (which she had moved into a cupped position while I slept), and then a camera on the coffee table flashed. She ran out of the house crying but left the camera behind. So I looked in the camera’s archive.
She Would Get Hopped Up on Espresso
I found that this was not the first time she’d photographed crapping in my hands as I slept, and there were pictures of her doing it to other sleeping guys I’ve never seen before.
I’ve heard of cute aggression. You know, when you see something so cute that you just want to squeeze it? But this was crazy. My ex drank a ton of espresso, and she normally doesn’t drink coffee. She got really hopped up on caffeine and proceeded to grab my arm and scratch/tightly grip at it for about 10 minutes.
He Was into Farts
During this, she was saying, “I wish I had a small bunny here so I could squeeze it.” I really don’t think she should be allowed around small animals. Reddit user: [redacted]
My ex and I used to fart around each other all the time and make jokes about it like we were 12. He’d said on more than one occasion that he loved everything about me, even the smell of my farts, and he would sometimes sniff the air when he heard me fart. Weird, but okay I guess?
Clown Fetish
I always took it as another joke, until one time it got weird. He was laying his head in my lap, and I warned him that I was going to fart something deadly. He then pressed his nose up to my butt and breathed in deeply. Reddit user: [redacted]
I once dated a girl with a closet clown fetish. (Backstory: I despise and have an irrational fear that all clowns are serial killers.) Anyway, fast forward about two weeks; when we decided it was time to do it, she said she needed a second to get herself ready. Sure, that’s no problem at all.
She Performed Voodoo
I, of course, said okay, thinking she was going to slip something real sexy on. Turns out, she put on make-up, a wig, and a red nose and came out into her living room area. Reddit user: [redacted]
I once found out that a girl I had been seeing was performing some sort of voodoo rituals on me. She would always get me my drinks. Later, I found out that she had been slipping her period blood into them. From what she said, it was to keep me. I literally gagged when she told me.
Paranormal Activity
I later ran into one of the girls she used to be close with. She explained how one night she helped performed some ritual in my ex’s bedroom to get me to go out with her. It involved a photo of me she had taken from across some parking lot before we had ever met. Reddit user: [redacted]
Girlfriend and I are sleeping; all of a sudden, I wake up to her sitting on the side of the bed. I ask her what she’s doing and she doesn’t reply, but instead proceeds to stand up. She stands there for about a minute before walking to the closet and standing there facing away from me for another 30 seconds or so.
He Has No Idea Who She Was
After this, she turns around, walks back to the side of the bed, and stands there for a bit. Then she just lies back down. I guess she was sleepwalking…. Reddit user: [redacted]
I dated a pathological liar. I discovered this after four months of dating. She had lied about going to the university I was attending (she even pretended to do homework sometimes when she was over). She said she had an apartment in Phoenix (said she always stayed at her brother’s because it was closer).
With Her Mother
She also lied about her family, a trust fund, the car she was getting, and the birth control she wasn’t taking. Thankfully, the truth was discovered, but by “truth” I really have no idea who she was. Reddit user: [redacted]
I had been dating this girl for about 6 months or so, and all was good. She cooked, cleaned, and we had amazing sexy time. One night, after a couple of drinks, she began telling me how hard of a time her mother has had meeting someone ever since having a partial leg amputation.
“I’ll Put You in There Too Someday”
I’m not sure what made her feel comfortable enough to ask, but she began to beg me to have pity love with her mother. I turned it down, but the topic continued to return, and needless to say, we are no longer together. Reddit user: [redacted]
My (now ex) boyfriend of a couple months had a necklace that he always wore. It kind of looked like a dog whistle. After a while, I got curious about it and asked him if it had any special significance. He then told me that he’d had a beloved pet dog for 10 years, and the ashes of the dog were in the necklace.
Casual to Crazy
But that wasn’t even the creepiest part. That came next, when he said, “Someday I’ll put you in here, too.” Reddit user: [redacted]
I was at a bar and started talking to this girl; after a while, we danced a little, and we swapped numbers just before she decided to leave. My phone died on the way home. When I got home, I charged up my cell phone to see that I had about 84 new messages, with about one more popping in every second.
Dorky Green Boxers
They were all from her. During the 2-hour or so time we had been apart, she had gone from casually asking me for a date to going completely crazy. Reddit user: [redacted]
This goes from kind of weird to psycho real fast. I once dated a girl who had a pair of her ex-boyfriend’s really dorky green boxers. The way I found out about this was that we had an argument; she bolted for her closet, put them on over her sweatpants, and started jumping up and down on her bed and laughing maniacally.
Pregnant With Lies
I want to know how her mind went from anger at her current boyfriend to “I’m going to dig through my closet, find those boxers, and go full-blown crazy.” Reddit user: [redacted]
My girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I totally believed her. She said her dad (who I’ve never met because she lived only with her mom) had a lot of money and had a place for us to live, which I learned later was one of the many lies this girl told me to try to get me to stick around.
A Perfect Circle of Creepy
During the next 6 months, she told me she was going to these pregnancy classes and dragged me to shop for stuff at IKEA. Nine months came, nothing. A year, nothing. I broke up with her, and she admitted eventually to her lies. Reddit user: [redacted]
In college, a guy in my dorm had a MASSIVE crush on me, and we had a common interest in a band called A Perfect Circle, but he started leaving me creepy lyrics under my windshield wipers. One day, he texted me a photo of a tattoo on his arm of their logo telling me he was going to follow them on tour and invited me.
Pet, Pet, Pet, Pet
I thought he was a big fan. I later found out from his roommate that he had never heard a single song of theirs until he saw me wearing an APC shirt. Reddit user: [redacted]
My wife talks a lot in her sleep. I was asleep when I was suddenly awakened by my wife moving around. I looked over at her to make sure she was okay, and she sat up and stayed completely still for a second. Then she started moving her arms in a petting motion and saying, “Pet pet, pet pet.”
He Carved Their Initials
I was terrified. But I realized that my wife does things like this, and I rolled over, and she went back to sleep. Reddit user: [redacted]
Couples tattoos are rarely a good idea, but if you’re going to get them, make sure both people in the relationship want them and that you go to a sterile tattoo shop. I had broken up with my boyfriend, and few hours later, he begged me to come over because he did something stupid.
Booger Picking
I open the door and see him sitting on the couch, alcohol bottles everywhere and blood all over. He decided to carve our initials into his arm in hopes that I wouldn’t leave. Months later, he got two tattoos (his first tattoos) that represent me. Reddit user: [redacted]
I had started dating a girl, and we had totally connected since the first time we met. We would do it and lie around and talk about everything and anything. She picked her nose in front of me, which was totally fine, we were cool like that. But this one particular time, she came out with a glob of snot and dried blood.
Skin Carving
Looking around and seeing no nearby tissues, she swiftly swallowed it whole. She reasoned that she usually just flicks it away, but in this case, it might stain something. Reddit user: [redacted]
When I was 16, there was a girl I was sort of into, but she had a boyfriend, so I didn’t really chase too much. At one point, she came to school with his name carved into her hand, and 16-year-old love-struck me said, “Wow, John must be pretty special if you’re willing to carve his name into your hand.” Which was dumb, I know.
I Missed You
The next week, she came to school with MY name carved into her hand, and she said, “I was thinking about what you said. You’re just as special.” Reddit user: [redacted]
My girlfriend has a habit (ok, she only did it a few times, but still) of waltzing in my house while I’m asleep late at night and getting within an inch of my face, then staring at me for god knows how long until I wake up. Yes, that’s creepy, and yes, I’ve told her exactly that before.
When I finally wake up (and jump a bit), she covers my mouth and says “I missed you” in a long kind of poltergeist voice. Man I love her. Reddit user: [redacted]