DON’T WALK – RUN!
Have you ever found yourself in a dating scenario where the person you were seeing turned out to be, well, not quite what you expected? I mean, not your everyday normal – we’re talking off-the-grid, almost bordering on the edge of eccentric or even, dare I say it, slightly unhinged.
From stalking their partners to more extreme cases bordering on criminal behavior, the stories are quite mind-boggling. If you have, then you’ll definitely relate to these Reddit stories.
THE CHAMELEON
He sent me to pick up a present he got for his friend’s baby shower at Kids R Us. I went there and asked for it and they said they didn’t have an order. I called him and gave my phone to the cashier.
After a moment she gave the phone back to me saying, “I will not be talked to like that” I was so confused. She said he was very rude to her and refused to help me. I left the store. When I came home he denied being rude to her and got mad at me for taking her side.
Later he told me I had ruined everything and we wouldn’t be going to the baby shower and that his friend was very upset. I was confused and felt awful so I called his friend to apologize. She had no idea what I was talking about.
I realized he lied about the whole thing to make me feel like a bad person and it made me realize he was gaslighting me our entire 3 year relationship. Making me feel bad about things he made up to make me feel crazy. Reddit User: wittysnhere81
TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING
Was seeing a girl for a while I thought I really hit it off with, we were into the same stuff, etc. but something in my gut was telling me something was off, so I broke it off and tried to remain friendly with her.
Found out later from her roommate that she was playing a long con with me and was only pretending to be into everything I liked in an attempt to domesticate me.
Also learned once I broke things off she got so angry she smashed a shot glass against their door, and when her roommate went to sweep it up said, “No, leave it. Those are the shattered pieces of my heart.” Reddit User: FishoftheNorth
SPIT IN MY FACE
I broke up with a girl — and I use the term broke up with loosely because I thought we were friends with benefits and she took it a little more seriously than I did. Anyways, she said that she was pregnant — I know, only a little crazy. But she maintained this for about 9 months.
She would send me pictures of ultrasounds, and after the baby was born, she’d send pictures of her breastfeeding, and in little outfits. She maintained all of this until the baby was about a week old and I asked for the paperwork to have the kid added to my benefits, and a DNA test.
Once I tried to do what I thought was the right thing, it came out that it was her friend’s baby and she had 100% been faking it. Reddit User: voltran1987
I REFUSE YOUR BREAKUP
It was a normal Sunday evening. My ex-husband had been without a job for going on a few years now. He was well aware of the fact that I had to approve several dozen employees’ time cards before Monday so I could submit payroll.
I did this every Sunday evening for three years and the process takes about an hour and a half. Another thing that was common was that he was a drinker with a very bad temper.
Apparently this evening he had some severe issues with me completing my employees’ time-card approvals after I had spent an hour cooking him and my son dinner. So I’m sitting there on the floor of my living room because I couldn’t afford a couch because I was dirt poor.
As I’m eating dinner and working all I hear is him yelling at me to put down work and pay attention to him. Before I could say, “I’m almost done, just a few more moments” he comes up to me with a full plate of food, takes a huge bite of tilapia, chews it up, and then spits it out all over my face.
Keyboard and all. I was in complete and total shock. I couldn’t believe the man that I was married to would spit food in my face and all over my work. I just sat there in awe of it all. That was the moment I knew I needed him out of my life. Reddit User: Cognito
CREATING YOUR OWN CHEATING SCANDAL
My boyfriend wanted me to text him my work schedule and then would call me on the work phone and wait in the parking lot for me to come out of work. Wanted to know how much was in each paycheck.
One time I texted him my work schedule and he misread it and freaked out non-stop for 6 hours searching for me. He called my whole family and was about to alert the police. It was his own fault he misread what I had texted him.
I broke up with him in public because he would not believe it when I broke up with him in private. It was finally to the point where random people who were nearby were like… ” Dude, you just got dumped.” Reddit User: babeyribs
LEVEL 1 STALKER
My ex once memorized my Facebook password and then logged in, going through my old messages until he found one where I had picked up an older conversation with one of my male coworkers.
He then proceeded to pretend to be me and hit on this guy, eventually taking it so far as to plan a time and place for us to hook up.
Then he texted me asking what these messages were about and why I was cheating on him. I was so confused initially that I didn’t realize it was him who had hacked me, I just pleaded my innocence and begged his forgiveness because I had no idea where the messages were coming from.
Eventually, he told me that he was the one coercing my co-worker and that somehow because my co-worker agreed that clearly meant we had slept together before.
I have no idea what his thought process was through all of this, but I stupidly stayed with him for a while after that. And it did permanently wreck the friendship I had with my co-worker. Reddit User: HikingMakesMeHappy
DID YOU THINK THIS WOULD IMPRESS HIM?
Went out to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings one night with a few friends and I told my girlfriend about this. While there, I saw a couple of her friends come in and sit at a table near us and they never ordered anything. They just drank water and sat there, occasionally glancing at us.
After we’re done eating, we walk outside and sure enough I see my girlfriend’s (ex now for obvious reasons) car in the parking lot. Her driver’s seat was leaned all the way back and I could just barely see that she was in the driver’s seat trying to hide.
I’m already kinda weirded out at this point so me and my friends leave and as soon as we back out, sure enough, her car starts and backs out as well. She began to follow us through the parking lot.
At this point, I’m texting her asking her what’s going on but she kept saying she was with her mom hanging out. Needless to say, I ended things shortly after that. Reddit User: TehPangolin
KEYING THE CAR
We were riding the train home from a date. I look over and she’s logging in to her ex-boyfriend’s Facebook account. I asked her what she was doing and she straight up told me that she was logging in to her ex-boyfriend’s Facebook account.
When I asked why, she said, “I’m just checking up on him, I want to make sure he’s ok. He never changed his password.” Her checking up on him became reading through not just his status but also his private messages.
I asked why she couldn’t just look at his profile normally. She said, “He blocked me.” When I asked why she couldn’t just text him if it was that big of a deal, she said he blocked her number too.
I had so many more questions, but she started getting ticked off and defensive and I still had a long train ride home, so I let it be. There was no follow-up date, naturally. Reddit User: DanHam117
LIVING A LIE
Didn’t really understand how unhealthy she was until after our breakup. She proceeded to key nasty slurs into the side of my car about a week later because she assumed I had already started seeing other women.
She tracked down every single person I know on Facebook (including family members and the CEO of my company) to send them a fairly unflattering and risqué picture. The picture also came with a page-long story of how I couldn’t be trusted, as I’d assaulted, stolen money from her, etc.
Had to get a restraining order and take her to court over trying to sabotage my life/career. It was super messed up and I genuinely hope she got some help. Thankfully, I haven’t heard from her in almost 4 years, and I now live on the opposite side of the country. Reddit User: Dpg2304
HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS
I was married to a psycho. He said he was going to the woods to shoot himself. Terrified, I called the police and told them I thought he was having a military PTSD event. They stopped him, took his gun, and informed me he was never in the military.
Four years into my marriage I found out his whole life was pretty much a lie. WTF. I took photos of all the holes in my walls and got myself a restraining order and a divorce. Courts don’t much appreciate stolen valor being your excuse for violence and emotional abuse/manipulation. Reddit User: dragonsvomitfire
JUST A WALKING RED FLAG
I knew he was a sociopath because he pretty much told me. I had been dating this guy awhile and (I thought) things were going really well. I’ll never forget the day because he took me to see Aladdin.
We get back to my place and everything’s normal. We’re conversing and suddenly he gets this weird look in his eyes. He says, ‘I can’t see you anymore. I’m afraid I might hurt you.’ I’m thinking hurt, like cheating on me, you know – psychologically.
I kind of laughed and told him not to worry I was a grownup and whatever happened we could try and work it out. His voice changed and he looked even worse and said, ‘You don’t understand. I’ve been having these dreams where I hurt you. I mean really hurt you.’
Then, he jumped off the couch and ran out the front door. Never saw him again. Never tried to call him cause it really shook me up. I guess I should be glad it stopped there. He just seemed so normal up to that point. Reddit User: spacednlost
THE DEVIL’S MEDICINE
Went on a Tinder date with a guy, just out to a local diner for breakfast. He took two phone calls during our first ten minutes there. Bad start. After that, he kept making thinly veiled innuendos (dude it’s 9am), and talked incessantly about how incredible it was to be an “entrepreneur” (kill me).
I’m pretty sure the only time he asked me about myself was to ask who handles my band’s social media and website (bruh, are you seriously networking right now?).
When I informed him that I did it all myself, including coding our website, he stared at me incredulously and asked me a bunch of follow-up questions, essentially testing me. By now, I was just stuffing my face with pancakes waiting for it to end.
At one point, I was trying to find common ground by talking about music, and he actually said to me, “I can never enjoy concerts or theater… I always want to be the one ON the stage, ya know?” Yikes. The end of the date finally arrived, and what do you know – he forgot his wallet and asked to Venmo me for breakfast.
It was $20, so normally I’d just pay and tell him to forget it, but this guy was such an idiot I decided I would take him up on the offer. I felt a little better at least getting a free breakfast out of it. I stopped using Tinder for a bit after that. Reddit User: ddeevv
IT’S ENOUGH WITH THE BABY STUFF
He told me I should stop taking my birth control, lest it turn me into a devil worshipper. I should also ask forgiveness for thinking it was a-okay to take it in the first place. Even if I weren’t taking it for contraceptive reasons, I would take it for other health ones. The latter didn’t matter to him.
Birth control was a device for someone looking to act on Satan’s calling them to behave with lust. He gave me a whole spiel on how I was only hurting myself in the end by being so selfish.
Also, he said no one would ever want to marry his child’s mother, but initially, it sounded like he meant it was because of her behavior. Nope. It was because she’d had their kid out of wedlock. How this didn’t somehow apply back to him beats me. Bullet. Dodged. Reddit User: Go4PapaPalpatine
IT STARTS EARLY
Told me she couldn’t have a baby because something was wrong with her. I thought oh well that sucks but whatever. Constantly asking me about baby-related stuff and how she really wanted a baby even though she told me she couldn’t. Started to wonder what was up at this point.
I went on holiday for a month. When I came back I was still seeing/dating her and talking constantly but she had blocked me on Facebook for some unknown reason. I was getting massive red flags at this point.
She started acting altogether really weird. Asked her what was going on and that I just wanted her to be honest. Turned out she was pregnant the whole time with someone else’s child and is now a single mother. Pretty sure I dodged a serious bullet. Reddit User: The-real-masterchief
YOU’RE LEGALLY REQUIRED TO MARRY ME
He went through the messages on my phone twice. Each time was after a fight because he knew I would have ranted to my friend about it. Then he tried starting a fight about what he read. Got harassed by him for 3 months after I ended it.
Only stopped when I had to get a police officer to go tell him he was not to be anywhere near me anymore or contact me. Found out his first girlfriend got a restraining order against him for the same reasons. Especially frightening when you take into account that we were only 17. Reddit User: FanWh0re
LOVE BITES
After dating this girl for about a year, her parents surprised me with a contract stating I would propose to her within three months! I thought my girlfriend would share my concern, but she actually thought I was being irrational for not signing!
I ran away from that relationship as fast as I could and later blocked that entire family from my life in every way I could. To be clear: they were a white, nonreligious family in America; marriage/proposal contracts are definitely not culturally normal here, and no one I know has heard of this.
The contract included a specific date by which I needed to propose with a diamond ring; there was nothing written in regards to what would happen if I broke the contract since they assumed I’d sign and propose without question/hesitation.
After we broke up, her parents threatened me with legal action — god knows what for — but that was enough to convince me to cut all ties with that family Reddit User: DudeInTheOrange
THAT’S A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION
She bit me twice…once on my arm and then on my butt. These were not fun, love bites… we were in an argument and she suddenly got violent for absolutely no reason. Took a chunk out of both places.
I finally slapped her so she would release her jaw from my butt. She was shocked. She called the cops. They showed up and arrested her. I was the one bleeding after all. Reddit User: Drumlin
APPLIANCE DEFIANCE
I didn’t wash a bowl in the sink before work and he got really mad. I said, “I went to do it but got distracted and I didn’t.” He decided to teach me a lesson by speeding the car up and then slamming the brakes stopping just short of hitting the car in front of us stopped at the lights.
Then he turned to me and said, “I was going to smash into them… but I didn’t.” Yeah, he didn’t last long after that. It was weird and looking back it didn’t make sense what he said but it scared the crap out of me at the time. Reddit User: MissMrsMissed
THAT’S JUST SICK
I was having doubts about him and was discussing it over texts with a guy-friend of mine. Admittedly, I should have talked to the bf about it instead, but that’s not the point.
Boyfriend went through my phone, and then accused me of cheating with my friend. He went berserk. Made a huge production out of packing up his stuff and leaving (we’d only been together for 2 months so there wasn’t that much stuff).
After leaving, he stood on my porch for a few moments collecting his thoughts, evidently changed his mind, and begged to be let back in. I refused, and he sobbed and scratched at my door for the next 2 hours like an emo zombie.
Days later, he demanded to have my microwave (he’d given it to me as a surprise gift when I was out of town – originally it belonged to a friend of his). I left it on my porch for him to avoid confrontation, and watched him take it and toss it in my dumpster.
Against my better judgment, I sent him a “wtf”-type message. I mean, not only was that immature, but it’s hugely wasteful. If he was gonna take it back, he could at least use it, or give it away or something.
In response, he drove back over, fished it out of the trash, and left it on my porch. After I disinfected it, I put it back in my kitchen. Then I get ANOTHER message, this time demanding the microwave back on behalf of his “friend.”
Again, I left it on the porch. Later that day, I watched him throw it in the dumpster again. This time I just went to Walmart and bought a new microwave. Reddit User: Leagle_Egal
A LITTLE SOMETHING ON THE SIDE
My high school “girlfriend” told me she had cancer after our first date. She asked me not to tell anyone and that her parents got really upset if it was mentioned so to not talk about it with anyone. I dated her for six months. She basically stopped eating to appear “sickly”.
Once I started making friends, no one understood why I was with her and I kept her secret. Well, I finally put two and two together after she told me she was going in for chemo on a Monday. She said she wasn’t going to be at school for at least a week.
I caught her trying to hide from me before the first class and asked her how her chemo went. She said it went so well and that all her hair fell out but they sewed it all together and sewed the wig to her head. Yeah… She was a special one. Reddit User: nellfromthemovienell
LOOK EVERYONE: I KNOW A GIRL!
I found out my fiancé at the time had another girlfriend. He also had another child which he had never mentioned before. I confront him with this info and he attempts to save our relationship by putting a loaded gun to his head.
I was so mad and shocked all I said was “Don’t do it in front of me” as I calmly walked away and closed the door behind me. I knew deep down inside his sociopathic tendencies wouldn’t allow him to do it. Scary times indeed. Reddit User: stothefingj
I’M ONLY MISSING TO YOU
Went out with a dude who was a few years younger than me. At the time, I was late 20s and he was early 20s, so I didn’t think much of it. We went to dinner first. After dinner, he wasn’t ready for the date to be over yet, so we went driving around.
I was driving, but I got the feeling he was steering me someplace specific (hey let’s go left here, I don’t know what’s down this way!) Didn’t get a creepy vibe from him at all, and I was the one driving anyway, so I just went with it.
Eventually, we ended up near a shopping mall. “Hey let’s go in, just for fun, I haven’t been to the mall in ages!” K, sure, why not. This is where this began to be the weirdest date of my life.
For the next 90 minutes or so, he kept acting like he was walking aimlessly but then would make a beeline for specific stores Each time I noticed this, he would just happen to have a friend working in that store right now, isn’t that so weird that we’d run into my friend here!
After the 3rd time it happened, I really began to feel like I was going on a tour to be introduced to all his friends in an effort to prove that he knew a girl. Finally, we left the mall, and he suggested we stop for ice cream to end the evening. There was a Cold Stone Creamery nearby and I suggested it.
No, he wanted to head back toward the restaurant where he’d left his car. Okay, reasonable enough. If you guessed that he wanted to go to a Dairy Queen where two of his buddies worked, you are way better at predicting things than I was. Reddit User: SharMarali
THE BABY THAT NEVER EXISTED
In college, an ex-boyfriend of mine reported me missing to campus security and the police because I stopped answering his constant calls and texts. When the police and campus security “found me”, they helped me get a restraining order against my ex.
We had been broken up for a year when this happened. He initiated the breakup and I subsequently broke off contact because I felt that was healthier for both of us.
Suddenly, he wanted to hook up with me and I just didn’t want to, so I refused politely once (our first contact since our break up) and then never answered another attempt at communication with him again. Reddit User: [deleted]
I’LL BE WATCHING YOU
At 21, I was dating and living with a 20-year-old who had two parents who were involved in healthcare. We worked in healthcare. It was her ultimate goal to be an OB/GYN. She had been diagnosed with irregular periods ages before we started dating. She was also on birth control.
That didn’t stop her from taking a home pregnancy test every time her period was one or two days off. She was obsessed with the idea that her BC wasn’t working and I had knocked her up. She was obsessed with taking a home pregnancy test at least once every month to two months.
Then one month she had a really horrible period. She insisted that she had just miscarried our unborn child. Refused to take a pregnancy test to confirm.
Refused to acknowledge the fact that she had had her period last month and that if she had miscarried the zygote would be so tiny she would never notice (mind you, her parents were both RNs and she read and watched everything about pregnancy and childbirth she could get her hands on).
Refused to go to the doctor to get a blood test. So this girl who was absolutely obsessed with taking the home pee tests to the point we could have had stock in EPT refused to take a home pregnancy test. At all.
Nope. She insisted she had miscarried. So she started mourning. Told her parents she had miscarried. Told all our mutual friends she had miscarried. And then made me feel bad because I didn’t grieve.
She even named her period (a male name, because she knew it would have been a boy) and bought a special miscarriage remembrance necklace from some vendor online, so she could always wear it and never forget her poor lost child. Reddit User: [deleted]
WHAT A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP
I met a guy once for dinner. He led a casual conversation… talking about my preferences for cars, an upcoming event in a nearby park, and challenges of my career field, etc. I never saw his crazy side coming.
This guy was able to figure out where I live based on some things I said about a nearby park and knowing what kind of car I drive.
I can’t imagine how many streets he drove down in our city trying to find my car. I found this out because he complimented a dress I was wearing one day. He texted me something like”I just drove by your house, I like your dress.”…
He messaged me once, asking me if I was dating “a black guy” because he saw me talking to my neighbor. I stopped communication at that point.
Apparently, that was a mistake: From there he was able to figure out what I did exactly for work and even followed me there on a few occasions — nearly an hour away!
One day as I’m enjoying my lunch, I get a text message asking me how my smoothie is! I blocked that guy and quit that job so fast. I still see his car from time to time and I can’t wait to move and sell this car. Reddit User: jewelbejealous
THE SLEEPING FINGER
When I broke up with my ex he became so hysterical that the only way he would “let” me leave him was if after the breakup we continued to be best friends.
Not just any kind of best friend either, he wanted me to still come over for “sleepovers” and share his bed with him. He told me that any other guy I dated after him HAD TO BE 100% okay with this or else I couldn’t date him. Reddit User: dog_butts
“HOW DOES IT FEEL THAT I WON YOU?”
While I was sleeping she took my finger and used it to unlock my phone and went through it. By the way, she did this after I found her talking to other people and advertising herself on Tinder.
I never talked to anyone else and she never found anything on my Tinder profile. She said she would search my text messages for the word “ring” and “wedding”. Obviously, she was history after that. Reddit User: Alex277877
PANTS ON PANTS
I was once dating a guy who was a bit shy and very sweet but lacked self-confidence. After four very fun dates, he suddenly became distant and seemed down, and we stopped dating. Cut to seven weeks later, I’m dating some other guy. After 3 dates this guy suddenly asks, out of nowhere, “How does it feel that I won you?”
Confused I asked what he meant. He explained he “took down”, as he called it, the guy I was dating earlier by feeding him lies about me just dating him out of pity so that his self-confidence would be crushed and he would stop dating me.
He said this as if he was proud of it and I should be impressed. He then claimed to have the right for his “first time” as a reward. No “first times” were had that evening.
After the date with that crazy evil guy, I went back to the guy I dated first. I told him I knew what happened and we started dating again. Let’s just say that this time a “first time” did happen a few days afterwards. We have been together for 5.5 years now. Reddit User: datingthrowaway34569
NEVER HECKLE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOUR FOOD
Met a guy on an online dating website. Had a few phone calls with him and things seemed good. Then he tells me he had a favorite pair of pants when he was in high school.
He wore them every day until they became too ragged to wear. Then he started wearing them under his normal pants. Every day, still wearing them ten years later, under his pants… I noped the frig out of that budding relationship. Reddit User: khoskamr
YOU HAD ME AT ‘HITLER’S NIECE’
I went to a very nice Japanese steakhouse with this girl. Date heckled the chef and threw pieces of food at the next table for reasons that are totally beyond me.
She ticked off the chef so much that he came over and doused her plate and set it on fire, then walked away. The plate was completely engulfed in flames. Weirdest date ever, couldn’t wait to get away from her. Reddit User: [deleted]
MY MASTER’S CASTLE IN EUROPE
He was a lab partner in college, he asked me out, and we met for dinner. He locked eyes with me over his salad and told me he thought I was “as beautiful as Hitler’s niece.” I could not look less like her, but okay.
He was a little intense and a good deal larger and stronger than I was, so I texted a girlfriend to meet me at the bar across the street so I’d have an excuse to run after our date ended.
He then described to me how he thought I’d be “exquisite while pregnant” and how he’d searched “so long for a woman so compatible with his genes and heritage”, rolling his sleeve to expose a swastika tattoo.
It was then I excused myself to the ladies and noped out the kitchen into the waiting arms of my best friend. I had to change my number, he was so insistent. Reddit User: noshouts_nocalls
“COOL” IS COLD
My first girlfriend tried to convince me that she was a 300-year-old succubus in the middle of a make-out session. I thought she was just joking, trying to make it a little more exciting with some role-play or whatever. We kept going and then went our separate ways.
The next time I see her she has this really depressed/aloof outlook about her, so I ask her what’s up. She was still going on about the whole succubi thing, and I told her it was funny, but to give it a rest. She got mad at me. She told me she missed her master’s castle back home in Europe.
At this point, I was struggling to decide what to do because she was obviously drinking the cool-aid and certifiably bonkers, but I really wanted to bonk HER. Thankfully I had the good sense to end it and didn’t talk to her for a long while. Reddit User: kingpanzer5
“I THOUGHT I WAS THE CRAZY ONE”
I was admitted to the hospital after nearly having a heart attack. He texted me and asked what I was up to. I told him I was in emergency care, that I had almost died, and I was extremely upset. It was 2am. He replied, “cool.”
By “almost having a heart attack” I meant I passed out, got taken to the hospital for a cause, and had to get potassium infused because it was extremely low and I was informed there was over a 90% chance I’d have had a heart attack, and 50ish% chance it would be fatal. Reddit User: [deleted]
THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO A PARTNER
He wouldn’t let me eat more food than him. At the end of our relationship, he would measure my food every time I tried to eat. I hadn’t been eating for 2 days because I was scared to make him angry and tried to make a meal and took 1dl (deciliter) more than I was allowed and he flipped out on me and had a total meltdown.
He was crazy as you please but I thought I was the crazy one. Last I heard from him, he still faked having Asperger’s to get money so he wouldn’t have to work. Classy. Apparently, he is a photographer with fake Aspergers collecting welfare money now. Reddit User: Blindhorses
IN HER DEFENSE, SHE DID WARN YOU…
I was 16 years old, and we were in her hot tub. I was talking about this episode of Futurama that I had seen the other night. It was The Luck of the Fryrish. She just blurted out, “You know if you left me, I’d end my life. For real.”
I hadn’t even thought of leaving her, until she said that, and then that’s all I could think about. I stayed with her for months and months because I believed she would have, and I couldn’t live with the guilt.
I stayed with her so long that I began to hate her so much that I didn’t even care at that point if she went through with it! It was an important lesson in learning when to leave a relationship. If anyone is concerned, she did not take herself out. As far as I know, she is unhappily engaged. Reddit User: Outrageous_Claims
BEE YOURSELF
I went on a Tinder date with this one girl whose bio said something like, “You won’t like me, I’m a disaster.” (Spoiler alert, she was right.) But she was pretty attractive so we went to get tea at a local hipster joint.
She was obviously depressed. She told me about her hyper-competent other personality that she sometimes slips into and how her current life goal was to move several states away from her family and work at a gas station (even though she was a senior bio major).
As the date was ending she freaked out, saying that she forgot her backpack in her last class but didn’t have a car to get back (apparently her mom dropped her off and then went home… half an hour away in the suburbs). So I took her to get her backpack.
Then she told me that she needed me to drive her to her house because it was late and no bus was running out there. So I drove her half an hour back to her parent’s house in the suburbs.
On the way, she told me that she actually has a boyfriend but sometimes likes to “see what’s out there” and that this was what our date was. Oh and she also is pretty sure she’s a lesbian but likes the power involved in getting a guy to like her. For some reason, we never saw each other again. Reddit User: hraefin
YOU PASSED THE TEST AND MAY NOW MATE WITH ME
Beehive girl. She had a Marge Simpson hairdo. About 18 inches high. She was an actor and couldn’t understand why roles would demand she cut her hair, so she turned them down.
I went on 3 dates with her just to hear her stories. She was totally oblivious that SHE was the problem. It was like I was watching a soap opera or something. But she was serious. Reddit User: Goldenlancer
IF THAT WAS MY SON, I WOULD GROUND HIM
On a third or fourth date, I went back to his apartment to have a glass of wine. We had a great evening until near the end he said “Wow I can’t believe you passed almost every test!”.
Turns out he set up his apartment with small “girlfriend” tests. He made sure there was little to no toilet paper to see if I would change the roll if I rinsed my dishes if I turned off lights behind me, and where I put my jacket and shoes. Needless to say, there were no further dates. Reddit User: happyladybug
NOT PICKING UP THE MESSAGE
I was 17, my boyfriend was 20 or 21. We were out to dinner at a fancy place with his parents. He loudly turned to me and said, “By the way, since you won’t sleep with me, I’m banging other girls.”
WITH HIS PARENTS INCHES AWAY. That dinner became incredibly awkward after that. I had never done it before and wasn’t ready yet. Reddit User: my_Favorite_post
WHEN YOU DON’T TEXT BACK…
In my junior college days, a girl invited me over for a study date. Her dad was home and we actually studied at the kitchen table. Dad seemed cool from the little bit of conversation we had. Aside from a 7-11 run for snacks and cigs, her dad was 10 feet away from us the whole time.
I thought the date went well, we talked more than we studied and made tentative plans to see a movie. A couple of days later, I text her “What’s your weekend looking like?” so we can check out a flick and grab some dinner.
She replies back “It’s not going to work.” She wants someone more forceful. I was like “What?” Apparently, her running to her bedroom a few times for things she forgot was her hint to me that I was supposed to follow and pounce, I guess.
We had pens and paper, she could have scribbled a note. I’m just not sure how I was supposed to understand that “I forgot my other notebook” was code for “follow me to the bedroom.” Reddit User: tdasnowman
BOO HOO, SO HER MOM DIED
I’ve been on and off the dating app life for a couple of years now. I just got my first ‘big boy’ job and moved to a new area. I matched with this cute girl who was a junior in college nearby. We had a nice first date, got coffee, and walked around. We set plans to grab lunch that weekend.
During lunch, we decided to go on an impromptu hike. I drove us to my house to grab some water, and snacks / change clothes and had a nice hike. Everything was going pretty darn well.
We texted and kept up throughout the week. That Friday I was at a friend’s house. We had a few drinks, so I didn’t feel comfortable driving back home. He didn’t have an Android charger and my phone was dying so I sent a courtesy text to her to let her know I was going to be out of commission for a while.
The next morning, I get home and charge my phone. After a few second I get a slew of text messages. Around 50. All from her. It was a spiral into insanity. At first, she told me to go have fun, and have a good night.
Then it went from that to “Hey are you free?” to… “Why aren’t you talking to me?” and near the latter, she mentioned she drove by my house and didn’t see my car. She accused me of sleeping around. Basically, any and every insecurity got projected onto me within a couple of hours all while I was asleep.
I called it off immediately. She probably had some deeper issues and I hope she has gotten help and is happy. It was just the transition from a few nice dates to that night that really made me take a step back and go… wtf? Reddit User: DrGingeyy
YOU GOT LUCKY TWICE
My ex-wife’s mother had just died and I went to the funeral to be there for my ex (we were married for 8 years). My girlfriend lost her mind when she found out I went to the funeral.
I tried to explain to her that her mother had died and she told me “BOO-HOO, PEOPLE’S MOMS DIE.” At the time, my own mother was in the process of dying and yeah, she knew this.
To clarify, “she found out” when I told her the next day. Bad choice of phrasing. I waited until after to tell her because she would have flipped out regardless, I made the (selfish) choice to fight later rather than sooner. Reddit User: eatgoodneighborhood
BUSINESS OR PLEASURE
We dated for a few weeks and then the night came to get down. Since hooking up doesn’t happen often for me, I don’t typically keep protection in my wallet or on my person. She says she wants to hook up and I tell her “I don’t have a rubber” to which she replies “It’s fine.”
Being the idiot I was, I got to work. My plan is to pull out but she doesn’t let me and I’m enjoying myself too much anyway. A few weeks go by and she tells me she’s late and to be prepared to be a father. Not the most ideal situation but I put myself in it, I’m going to see it through.
Another two days go by and she’s in tears. I asked what the matter was and she said she got her period. I looked confused and she yelled, “I wanted to have a child with you and it didn’t work and now we have to try again!” I’ve never ghosted someone so fast in my life. Reddit User: [deleted]
WITH MY OWN CAR
A childhood friend of mine asked me to go to dinner after we ran into each other at a party. I thought this would be great as she had gotten pretty cute since the last time I’d seen her and it was all was going well when we were texting.
I met her at the restaurant and to my surprise there was a middle-aged business-looking guy there as well. As soon I sat down both of them tried to recruit me to one of those pyramid marketing schemes.
After I declined and went home I would get texts regularly over the next month asking me what went wrong and why I didn’t want to make all this easy money. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even get to order dinner as well. Reddit User: jex_head
YOU GOT A TICKET TO THE SHOW
She thought anything she did while she was upset didn’t count. For the most part that took the form of screaming at me over stupid things. It got to a point where I ignored the screaming.
Anyway, she injured her shoulder skiing one day. Two doctors, one of whom was my dad, and one physio told her that there wasn’t anything wrong with it. I’m not a doctor so I assumed three opinions meant it was fine.
A year later her shoulder still hurt so she went to another physio who determined she had a torn rotator cuff. She underwent treatment but after a few sessions, she still had pain.
After one of these sessions, she was supposed to pick me up in my car because her car was in for service that day. Traffic on the way was worse than she expected which upset her.
And her shoulder pain was also my fault because I didn’t tell her to get a fourth opinion right away. So she tried to run me over with my own car. In her mind, it was my fault that she did that too. Reddit User: asoiahats
MOVING ON TOO FAST
Met a girl on Tinder who was super into Bob’s Burgers and we hit it off on other things we both enjoyed. First two dates we went out to eat and watch a movie, third date she came over to my place and we ordered pizza and watched Bob’s Burgers.
Things were going alright until I started getting tired and started the “time to use my force powers to get this person to leave so I can sleep” portion of the night.
I had no expectations of her staying the night and didn’t try to push towards it at all but she started getting very handsy and one thing led to another and she was… going downtown.
It was pretty mediocre and I could tell she wasn’t that into it. I felt like she was literally just doing it so I wouldn’t make her leave. She was watching the freaking show through her hair.
Eventually, I stopped her and after a few minutes of conversation, she admitted that she was only dating me so she could watch Bob’s Burgers because her ex had cut her off his Netflix. Reddit User: Emerystones
I PREFER TO WATCH
A girl I had been seeing for a couple of weeks or so asked me to go with her to a funeral of some guy I didn’t know. What I didn’t expect was that the funeral was for her fiancé.
Got out of there real quick once I realized why everyone was shooting me glares the whole time. I was the side guy. At a funeral. Yikes. Reddit User: ScurryKlompson
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
I had a guy ask me out on a date, and he suggested a Japanese restaurant I liked. After I ordered, the server asked him what he wanted, and he said he wasn’t hungry. I asked him if he wanted to wait until he was hungry, but he said nah, he just wanted to watch me eat.
I laughed nervously, thinking it was a joke, but his expression said he wasn’t joking. He sat there awkwardly, lustfully watching me have my dinner. It was extremely strange. The sushi was good though. Reddit User: Chuggy_G
A LITTLE TOO MUCH OF A HISTORY
I’d been seeing this girl for a few months. I was 21 she was 24 and had a boy about 2 years old. She was basically normal, had a good job, and took care of the kid okay. She was kind of a dim bulb though, not very interesting.
I was bored in the relationship and really didn’t want to become a stepdad to the kid so I ended it. No prob. Run into her a month or so later at a bar and we end up going back to her place for a night of ex-hookups. The next morning she makes coffee and breakfast, I go to school and she goes to work.
I get incredibly sick on the way to school, throw up multiple times, make it to school still puking find the nurse/medical office, and vaguely recall being loaded into an ambulance.
Come to the hospital. A doc tells me I OD’d on an enormous amount of chemicals and had about five minutes left to live before they figured it out. Oh by the way there are some federal agents here to talk to you.
Turns out she had planned this whole thing and decided that if she couldn’t have me, no one could. She went to jail but got a reduced sentence for turning on the family member who had given her the chemicals. Reddit User: [deleted]
I had started this relationship with a girl online and after a bit she sheepishly admitted that she had a criminal record. We went on chatting for a bit, she was cute and VERY interested in me, but of course, the conversation eventually led us back to the criminal question.
Turns out she was on parole. Now I NEEDED the story of how she got into trouble. She finally took a pic of her parole document and sent it to me. I was reading it and came to the line where it listed the offense she had committed.
Attempted homicide. Can you say ghosted? Needless to say, we never met. Reddit User: iconoclast63