Call the Police
What would you say is the one thing you can’t forgive a person for? It’s unfortunate, but sometimes people do things that we find hard to forgive. People prefer to think that it was an accident or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but face it: sometimes these hurtful things are intentional, and you have to remove people from your life based on how they treat you.
It can be hard to let a person go if they’ve been a friend for a long time or even a family member. You can’t live with negative and toxic people in your life, though; you’ll be happier if you take care of yourself. The people of the internet gathered together to share the worst things people have ever done to them and how they’re doing now.
My father called the police on me after his girlfriend moved in, and he changed the locks while all my stuff was in the house still. When a parent chooses a partner over a child, that’s one of the harshest things they can do. It hurts everyone. I had to basically start over as just a teenager.
Checking Up
I feel like going through this is especially difficult if one of the adults isn’t a biological parent. It’s like you’ve been ousted. Reddit User: Chirs_Massey
My mom “forgetting” I had cancer and never once calling me for 9 months during my treatment. She was never around anyway and would forget my birthday so I guess I should’ve expected it. I haven’t talked to her in about a year. I don’t need that toxicity in my life, and I feel a lot better without the contact.
Protecting Mama Bear
Just so everyone knows, I’m about 10 months cancer free! And I have to say that even though it was an extremely terrifying and heartbreaking experience I’m glad I went through it. I’m a much stronger person with a more positive outlook on life, or at least I try. Reddit User: shrewberryblew
My father cheated on my mom when she had stage 4 cancer. I was 23 at the time and ended up giving up my apartment and moving back home to take care of her. She had squamous cell carcinoma on her foot, so they had to amputate most of her leg, and she was in a lot of pain.
Again, and Again, and Again
One night, I heard them arguing, and he said, “Well, I can’t get it from you, so I’ll have to get it somewhere else.” He ended up spending most of his time at the house of some woman he met from the neighborhood. My brothers, who never so much as visited our mom during the time she was sick, told me I was overreacting and I should just get over it.
So long as I’m drawing breath, I’ll never forgive that man for treating my mom that way. And I’ll continue to be estranged from my brothers, too. Reddit User: DeusEx-Machinist
Not simply doing something bad once, but doing it on purpose, enjoying it, and continuing to do it. A person can’t be forgiven until they’ve stopped for good or honestly fight the urge to do it again. There’s a pattern of bad or negative behavior that you can spot in some people.
Taking Advantage
If they can’t break their bad habits, then you need to break the habit of them being in your life. Reddit User: KLWiz1987
My wife’s family taking my distress at losing my wife at 39 as weakness and trying to take advantage to get whatever they could. Nope, can’t forget that one. If your in-laws are taking advantage of you at a time when you’re in distress, you need to reach out to your own family for support and forget them.
Liar Liar
If they’re not really any better, find any support system you can, and don’t be afraid to burn bridges. Reddit User: M1r9f7i9sh
If they lie extensively and try to cover it up, break your heart, and then lie to you again, but you have no way to prove it. You end things but always wonder if you’ve made a mistake. If someone breaks your trust the first time, maybe you can forgive them, but over and over again? Nope. Not if it’s a pattern.
Cheater
I mean, people can give their all to people they trust, but after that’s gone, so is the relationship. Reddit User: ferdaboiz_
My stepmom cheating on my dad. He’s such a good guy and has done so much for her, including adopting her son from a previous marriage, and she destroyed him. If you’re unhappy in your marriage or relationship, just end it. Don’t cheat and hurt the other person for no reason other than selfishness.
Bullies
There is never an acceptable reason to cheat, or at least that’s my personal opinion. Reddit User: cnvoaeas
Shaming someone trying to better themselves. Whether it might be an overweight person in the gym or someone working a minimum wage job, you have no idea what they’re going through and yet you chose to make fun of them. No one likes a bully. Be kind to other people always.
Too Far
It shows how insecure they are about themselves, and to project that onto other people is wrong. Reddit User: IndySGZ
Marrying a family member’s rapist. Knowingly. When a family member disrespects you in the most hurtful way possible, cut ties with them. This might be an extreme example. However, if you feel something is too far and nobody agrees with you, that’s okay. You’re entitled to your feelings.
Cowards
Just know you aren’t going to have any contact with them going forward. They should equally respect that. Reddit User: CalmingGoatLupe
Hurting anyone that can’t defend themselves; it’s an extremely cowardly act. Someone who has a disability might not even know how to defend themselves physically or emotionally. Someone should be ashamed of themselves for doing this sort of thing. That goes double for harmless children.
Taking Advantage
Please leave the animals alone, too. Unless you’re hunting, don’t be cruel on purpose. It never pays. Reddit User: Pr3ttynp3tty
Using a person’s kindness for their own gain. If someone is naive and gullible and you know it, it isn’t nice to take advantage of them. Everyone is going to get used. However, don’t misuse people. There’s a huge difference. If you’ve been taken advantage of, then it’s time to speak up to that person.
Best Friends
Likewise, if you’re taking advantage of someone, look in the mirror and stop. It’s always your choice! Reddit User: squidsandbread
When I was assaulted, my best friend didn’t want to believe me. Said it wasn’t “her place to take sides.” I tried so hard to keep the relationship functioning, but that trauma defined me for years, and she only ever acknowledged it with “if that did happen.” On her 21st birthday, she invited him to the party and didn’t tell me until I was already there.
Autistic
I left immediately and never replied to a text or call from her again. It’s been years and I don’t regret it. Reddit User: chngminxo
It’s been 15 years since the incident, and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive my once best friend for doing it with my autistic sister. For clarification, my sister was born without oxygen and received major brain damage due to it. She’s 18 months older than me but still stuck at the age of 2 mentally.
Parental Hardships
She can’t talk actual words outside of mama and Bubba. I’ve seriously thought about calling the police. Reddit User: P_B_n_Jealous
A few years ago, one of my ex’s cousins died in a car crash. It took an extreme emotional toll on my ex and her entire family. My ex and her mother wound up on an extremely emotional late-night phone call. For context, they’re Chinese, so I didn’t understand any of the details of the conversation.
Time for Rehab
As I’m lying in bed, they finally hang up their phones, and for whatever reason, my spidey sense goes off. I get up to go check on my ex in the living room to find her holding a knife and moving it toward her wrist. I had to wrestle the knife from her and put her in a hold while she thrashed and cried uncontrollably.
Turns out her mother ended their conversation by telling her that she wished she had aborted her. Since then, they’ve both gone to therapy (individually) and have not only worked out their problems but have forged an even stronger relationship than either of them ever thought they could have. I’m proud of both of them, but what the mother did that night is one thing I can’t and won’t forgive her for. Reddit User: spartanaean
I had a hysterectomy at the ripe age of 32 and never had a chance to have children with my husband. My sister is an alcoholic, and she gets very mean when she’s drunk. She was upset with me one evening, and she was leaving me message after message because I wouldn’t pick up.
Backstabbing Friends
I listened to one, I probably shouldn’t have. She said, “You’ll never know what it’s like to have children, you wouldn’t have been a good mom.” Pretty much saying I deserved it. She’s 48 and knows better. But I don’t think I can forgive her; she went too far. But she’s in rehab now for her tenth time. Reddit User: JaLG8
My first relationship was ended by a mutual friend who talked behind my back. She managed to convince my boyfriend that I was a jerk for studying instead of partying with him. I wanted to give us financial stability so he could pursue his art career. After we broke up, she tried to form a relationship with him and failed miserably.
Strange Couples
I still talk to my ex, and we got our friendship back. What she destroyed, though, will never be the same. From as long as I can remember, she’s the one person that I never managed to forgive. Reddit User: Heile_Arondight
The father of my child cheated on me with my mum. They are now living together as a couple. I can never forgive them. Yes, I do have custody of my son. I work two jobs so he can thrive, and it’s a real struggle, but I’m keeping it together. He still sees my mum and my ex once or twice a week, but as much as it kills me, I can’t cut them off from my son’s life.
Family Ties
If I remove a loving father from my 2-year-old’s life, that makes me the real deadbeat. Things may change though; the process I’m going through gets more and more bitter with each day, and I simply can’t look at them. Above all of this comes my child, and I MUST hold it together for him. Reddit User: deegeecoo
I can’t forgive my now alienated spouse’s family for all lining up to kick me when I was down. They never liked me, my husband at a low point had an affair, and every member of his immediate family took that to mean it was now open season on me and each unleashed every verbal disgusting assault they could, all within weeks of my life crumbling around me as I knew it.
Ghosting Someone
My husband worked extremely hard in the YEARS after to earn back my trust and respect; he was an incredibly damaged human from his upbringing in such a family. Therapy and more therapy. I lived years in agony out of love and respect for him, trying to make it through the mire that my life had become, but I can’t bring myself to try to reconcile with people who literally saw me grasping for reasons to still live and decided to grind their heels into my fingers. They killed any chance of being in my life and the lives of my children for good. Reddit User: Onceaweekly
Other than the obvious reasons for not forgiving someone (committing a violent offense), close friends or family suddenly ghosting me. It’s cruel to leave someone twisting in the wind. Suck it up and tell me that you don’t want to be a part of my life (for whatever reason) and then move on.
Financial Burden
When a potential Tinder date ghosts you, that’s one thing, but when a family member or friend ghosts you, that’s a different story. Your friends and family should always be there for you no matter what. Reddit User: foghornclj
My mom financially and emotionally cut off me and my sister when we were in our first and third years of college, respectively, to chase a relationship and business endeavor with a woman she had just started a relationship with. She spent close to a million dollars that would have been left to me and my siblings while systematically cutting out everyone who questioned her decisions.
Crying Wolf
Ultimately she lost everything and now crashes on my sister’s couch between evictions. She’s never really assumed responsibility, so we can’t forgive her. To be clear, it’s not the money I can’t forgive her for. It’s the fact that I saw her in a place where she thought she didn’t need us and could afford to kick us to the curb to benefit herself personally, so she did so. How a person acts when they feel like they have everything can be just as revealing as how they act when their back is up against the wall. Reddit User: mrSFWdotcom
Terrorizing me emotionally by strongly implying that you’re going to die because something that I did was an inconvenience to you, then purposely avoiding my calls and messages when I desperately try to contact you, then acting as though you never intended to worry me but do it all again in a few months anyway.
Stepfather
Nobody should ever joke or pretend they’re going to harm themselves to make another person feel bad. Reddit User: Reddi_steddi
My mother dated this piece of crap guy. He acted nice at first but then turned into a complete jerk. This was an on again off again relationship. He would hit me and abuse me when my mom wasn’t around, and even when she was, she let him hit me. I was scared for my life one time when the two of them were fighting.
School Yard
I had to grab a belt and whack him across his back in order to get him off of her. He chased me up the stairs and threatened to snap my neck. This was back when I was 9. The worst part is despite all the things he did to my sister and me…my mom still had a child with the man.
He doesn’t pay child support, and he barely has a place of his own. He still lives in an apartment house in his 50s. He wanted to go to the NBA but was too stupid and stubborn to finish college. He blames his behavior on his upbringing, as his dad treated him the same.
I’m not his son. He was never married to my mom. I have no reason to contact him even if he’s the dad of my little sister. Visitation with him and my sister are limited because I was living in the house. I don’t feel sad or guilty for having that power over their relationship.
It isn’t my sister’s fault that she’s in this world, but I hope she knows that her dad is a piece of crap. I hope when he dies I can spit on his grave. Reddit User: Owens2019
This jerk Daniel asked me to bring my foil Charizard Pokemon card to school to show it to him, and I know he stole it out of my backpack later that day while we were at recess. I’ll take this 2nd-grade grudge to the dang grave. Downright despicable and wholly unforgivable.
They’re Exes for a Reason
Do you know how much a foil Charizard could be worth now? At least a couple hundred dollars, if not more based on the condition. Reddit User: [redacted]
I have two ex-boyfriends who I will never forgive. They were both extremely emotionally abusive. At least I knew enough to get out of the relationships while I could. If a relationship starts out and continues to be emotionally abusive, it could turn physical as well, and I was scared.
There’s Someone Else
Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. You can’t see it, but the scars will remain for years to come. Reddit User: AshWNoCash
I would find it impossible to forgive my SO after being cheated on. People sometimes say you can forgive but not forget, and they say that if someone cheats on you, apparently you can work past that. If you’re not someone who could work past being cheated on, that’s totally okay too in my mind.
Older Brother Troubles
But when two people make a commitment and then one person breaks it, I don’t see how you can ever go back. Reddit User: Aldonza20
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive my older brothers for telling me I was stupid for being assaulted. The texts kept coming through. “What were you wearing? He probably assumed you wanted it” and “I don’t know why you wouldn’t go to the police; how do I know you aren’t lying about it happening in the first place?”
Bad Uncle
The older one’s wife texted me a few days later telling me how disappointed she was that I didn’t tell her that it happened. “I thought we were sisters. Guess not.” Reddit User: [redacted]
My uncle used to tell me and my sibling from very young ages (6-11) how attractive it would be if we would let him take a couple pictures. Then he would add that it would make all his wildest fantasies come true if we were in those pictures together with him. My parents still don’t understand why we, as adults now, want nothing to do with him.
Problem Parents
They still take his side and tell us we’re overreacting. I don’t see how it could be any clearer. Reddit User: gummiebears8675309
Emotionally abusing your child. Thanks, mum and dad (for enabling). It really screws up your self-worth. But also, I guess not emotionally investing in those you’re supposed to is a consequence of emotional abuse? You need to love your child, be there, teach them things, and everything else a parent is supposed to do for a child.
Kidnapping
If you’re not present in your child’s life, they’re not going to grow emotionally or intellectually as people. They need you to be there other than giving them basic needs. Reddit User: pyschopanda
My mother orchestrating the adoption of my child to my aunt. I haven’t seen my son in eight years. Before anyone asks, she ran a campaign of lies against me to all the family and threatened to have me bodily harmed should I defy her. I was Baker-Acted with her signature, and she kidnapped my son to take him to his new parents.
Hidden Family
Needless to say, I moved continents and am now working on building my self-confidence and independence. Reddit User: uliol
My mother hid my father’s side of my family from me, saying they wanted nothing to do with me; she lied and said she’s never spoken to them. I met them earlier this year, and it was all a lie. It would make sense to keep people away from your child if they’re not stable human beings and could hurt your kid.
Still With Him
If these people are family and she was only keeping them away because she didn’t like them, well, her child still has a right to get to know the family. Reddit User: EarlyBirdTheNightOwl
My mum kicking me out when I confessed my stepdad was molesting me when I was 13. Even though I want to forgive her and build a relationship, I can’t. Especially as she’s still with him. I wanted her to listen to me, but no matter what I said, she always took his side and not mine.
If You Ever Need Anything…
It made me feel unloved and is emotionally damaging on many levels. To stay with him shows that she chose the partner over her own child. Reddit User: MoyseA00
Saying, “If you ever need help, just let me know.” I let people know I needed help. They never had the time. This comes from raising a special needs kid and desperately needing time to get errands done or maybe having someone else step in for one bath time so I could rest my back.
Stillborn
When my son died, I wouldn’t let any of them offer me anything. No, I don’t want your stupid casseroles and no, I don’t want you coming back to my house. Stay far away, because it’s what you did best while he was still alive and living at home. Reddit User: thatstaceygirl
I won’t forgive my ex-husband for being in the hospital parking lot, on the phone with his girlfriend, while I was in labor giving birth to our stillborn baby. It was agonizing enough knowing that you’re giving birth to a stillborn baby, but wondering where your partner is and having to go through it alone was absolute torture.
Bad Boss
I cannot forgive him for that. It still makes my blood boil just to even think about the whole thing. Reddit User: BlueDevilBina
Screwing with my financial stability. The case in point: a former boss of mine who, through gross incompetence and an inability to take responsibility for her mistakes and missteps, was trying to fire me as a scapegoat for a lack of progress on her completely unrealistic goals. I genuinely hate her, on a very personal level, and wouldn’t put her out if she was on fire.
Call 911
It’s my firm belief that if she just suddenly dropped dead, the world would be a better place. Reddit User: EvidentlyEmpirical
My ex beat me up. Not a slap but a full-on punching, kicking, spitting, pound me to the ground beat. I was able to make it to the front door, swing it open, and SCREAM for help. No one helped. No one called 911. Everyone ignored me. I will never forgive those people who decided to ignore my screams and cries for help (we lived in a cul-de-sac, and the neighbors were 5 feet away on either side).
Brain Damage
I’m still dealing with jaw problems 7 years later. I make sure to check out screaming and yells for help; who knows if it’s someone playing at the park or someone scared for their life. Any form of abuse means I’d gladly go to jail to prevent it from happening if I can. Reddit User: TheDisasterItself
My ex stepdad abusing me starting at the age of 3. My brain is permanently changed because of him; I will never be able to enjoy life fully, and he still gets to walk this earth freely without a care in the world. I often daydream about things being different and watching him rot in jail or me stepping into his perfect world and completely ruining everything for him.
Things You Shouldn’t Say
It’s hard not to think of ways to get revenge on someone who has hurt you so deeply that it affects everything in your life. Reddit User: plainjane999
People that tell others to hurt themselves. My twin dated someone who told him this when they were breaking up. He was completely in love with her. He ended up taking his own life a week later. This is probably the worst thing you could say to someone, especially during something like a breakup.
It shows you that you never know where someone is mentally, and saying things like that can have the worst effect on someone’s mental health. Reddit User: pistanthrophobia8162