Plop, Right on the Floor
Going to the doctor is rarely fun, and with every visit, there is a chance that you, the patient, may end up embarrassing yourself. Whether it because of some unsightly fluids, involuntary reflexes, or silly questions, something is always bound to go down in the office.
It’s not really your fault if you throw up all over your doctor’s shoes when he checks your tonsils. And sure, it’s tough to avoid kicking a doc right in the stomach when they test out your reflexes. They’re used to it by now…but there are still some times when even doctors are taken by surprise at what happens with a patient, and the patient ends up more than a little mortified. The people in these stories know exactly how that feels, as they have been poked and prodded by medical specialists. Here are some of the most embarrassing things that have happened while visiting a doctor.
Inappropriate Exposure
I had to go to the doctor for some intestinal bleeding. My doctor was fairly new, and I’d only met her once before this. At the time, I was only 21, and I never had a reason for a doctor to check out my lower digestive region, but the doctor insisted it needed to be done so that she could perform a few tests….
So, I bend over the table while she lubes up and begins to dig for treasure. I hadn’t gone to the bathroom in a day or two because of the pain that I’d been experiencing. On her way of pulling herself out, I immediately realize that something is about to happen.
I try everything in my power to stop it, but I’m too late…. When the doctor is finally out, there is a loud plop, right on the floor, staring me in the face. Although I was able to hold the rest, the damage was already done. Reddit User: BigCatTherapist
Several Witnesses
My most embarrassing doctor’s visit was the time I went in to get a vasectomy. I was in one of the examination rooms with the doctor, where I had my feet up in the stirrups. The doctor tells me that my boys are hiding and needed to come out a bit so that he could perform the procedure, so he puts a heat lamp over my area and says he’ll be back in ten….
I don’t know if it was by accident, but he left the door open, which was the direction that I was facing. For ten minutes, everything was exposed to anyone who walked by the room. All I could do was smile and wave. Reddit User: tothemooninaballoon
Hypochondriac No More
My doctor said that I should get checked for polyps in my colon, so I scheduled my appointment, and now that I know what happens, I wish I didn’t. He used a tool called a proctoscope, which is used to pump your colon full of air, then look up your rear….
When he does so, it starts to gurgle like there’s a huge fart coming. It was over pretty quick, so I go to the bathroom the cleanup, not remembering that there is still an insane amount of air trapped up there. As I’m walking halfway through the waiting room, things get ugly….
I end up ripping this massive one that sounds like I may have just gone in my pants a little. The worst part was that there were several people there to witness this moment. I’m not sure who was more horrified about it: them or me. Reddit User: mydogfarted
Too Much Room?
When I turned 30, I suddenly became a hypochondriac: a person who is abnormally anxious about their health. I thought that EVERYTHING I experienced was a symptom of cancer or worse. So I decided to go see my doctor, who also happened to be a racquetball buddy, for an annual physical….
I mentioned that I was having some pains on the left side of my chest, and I asked him if it could be cancer, even though I knew that my chances were low being a male and all. He felt around, then with one of the straightest faces I’ve seen, asked me, “Does the pain hurt worse when you have your period?” There was no more hypochondria after that. Reddit User: PalmerKid
Learning from a Guy
When pregnant with my daughter, I was at my obstetrician/gynecologist’s office for a pelvic exam. After putting my feet up on the stirrups, my doctor gets down to business to inspect both my baby and me. I hear them say, “Oh, you’ll be fine if you have a big baby; there’s PLENTY of room in here….”
I’m sure she meant that I had a wide pelvic arch and would have no trouble with doing a natural delivery. Well, that’s at least what I tell myself, because I’d hate to think that she meant that everything was really huge down there. Reddit User: LuckieMotor
Pee or Affair
I once had an awful throat infection. It was so bad that the back of my throat looked like something straight out of a horror movie. After a week of being absolutely miserable, I went to the doctor to get it checked out. I have never had a hot doctor before.
But the doctor I got was this very attractive woman in her mid-late 30s and blonde….She proceeds to swab of the back of my throat and says, “I’m afraid this will make you gag.” At that moment, I remember a thing my housemate had told me about how to suppress the gag reflex.
When I don’t gag, she says, “Wow, where did you learn to do that?” My response was something like “some guy showed me.” She raised an eyebrow at me, I went bright red, and I knew that there was no coming back from it. Reddit User: woodiewoodwoodwoodlet
“What’s That Smell?”
I had to take my father to the doctor to get his prostate checked; he was experiencing some difficulty peeing, so that’s what we decided to do. We got called into the examination room by a very good-looking urologist who had to insert a catheter for my dad….
When she was done, she removed the catheter, and my father started going all over her leg. She took it like a champ and said to him, “If I don’t get peed on at least once a day, my husband will suspect I’m ditching work to have an affair.” Reddit User: Relephanr_Username
Fighting My Doctor
When I was approximately 8 months pregnant, I had to go to the doctor because there were times that I would get so gassy that it would get painful if I tried to hold it. While sitting in the doctor’s office, I got the urge to fart, but I held it in for a little while, thinking that the doctor would walk in as soon as I did….
15 minutes go by, and there was no one, so I decided to let it go. It was the tiniest little fart I think I’ve ever let go, but it stunk like something crawled up inside me and died. 30 seconds later, my doctor walked in and asked me what that smell was. Reddit User: FearlessEyes
Stop Sleeping Around
I was visiting the doctor when I was about 12 years old. My doctor knew I didn’t like needles, so he put a shot that I was scheduled to get in his pocket with his pens so that I wouldn’t get freaked out by seeing it. I kid you not, in the middle of a sentence, he pulls it out and comes at me….
I punched him directly in the face and broke his glasses. It wasn’t exactly intentional, but he was coming at me with a sharp object. He ended up grabbing me by the shoulders, pinning me down, and doing the injection. I couldn’t face him for a long time after that. Reddit User: octobereighth
My Angry Cushion
This happened to a good friend who was known for sleeping around. One day, he started to feel a burning sensation when he peed and was obviously worried. He went to the doctor’s office to have some tests taken, and two days later, he got a call saying that he needed to come in immediately….
He rushes down to the doctor’s office, and the doctor walks into the examination room with a clipboard and a concerned look on his face. “Well… about that burning sensation…” My friend is nervous and says, “Yeah?” Doc: “You work in a restaurant?”
Friend: “Yep.” Doc: “You drink a lot of soda?” Friend: “Yep>” Doc: “Something citrusy? Like Sprite or Sunkist?” Friend: “Yep….”The doctor then tells him, “That burning sensation when you pee is excess carbonic acid in your system being eliminated.
Cut out the soda and stick to drinking only water and you’ll be fine in a couple of days.” Friend: “Why’d you have to call me all the way down here to tell me that, doc?” The doctor responds by saying, “So you’d stop sleeping around.” Reddit User: atlgeek007
Being Poked and Prodded
Back when I was in high school, I had to get blood drawn, and there was a big problem: I hated needles, but it needed to be done. I went in, got my blood drawn, paid, and started to walk out to my car when I realized I didn’t get a note to explain my absence….
I went back inside and got in line, and as I was standing there, I started to sweat, then I got cold, and I felt really dizzy. I started to have tunnel vision, and then it felt like I was falling. The first thing I hit was a lady’s well-endowed chest, which I bounced off of and hit the floor….
I hit my head on the floor pretty hard and woke up 2 minutes later in the doctor’s office. On my way out, I saw that the lady who had acted as my cushion was still in the office, and she was very much not amused about what happened. Reddit User: ajustton88
Unwanted Attention
I was referred to a specialist urologist due to sharp pain in my nether regions. My wife, who is awesome, accompanied me for support. I feared the worse, so it was good to have her there. The doctor’s office was at a teaching hospital, so he asked if it was okay if a couple of medical students could observe the exam….
I said okay, not because I wanted to, but because my dignity was already at a new low. I dropped my pants, and the doc started to yank and pull on seemingly everything he could get his hands on. He took some notes and then directed the two med students to have a feel in the same area. When I looked over at my wife, she was trying her best to stifle a smile. Reddit User: [redacted]
“This One Shrank”
When I was 21, I noticed a lump in my right breast, which was very difficult to process, as I was already a broke college student. So, I did what I thought was best and ignored it for a while. When I went home for winter break, I decided to get it looked at….
It was the first time going to this doctor, and although I wasn’t sure, she conducted what seemed like a normal examination. She also told me that it was unusual for someone my age to have a solid-feeling lump. She wanted another opinion, so not only did she send me for tests, but she also called in another doctor….
He says, “Hello, I’m Dr…, and this is my resident, and these are my medical students….” There were 5 to 6 other people in the room. Great. So I got to spend the next few minutes in a small examination room, in only my underpants and socks, with other people taking turns palpating my breasts and going, “Hmm…. hmmm.” I was mortified. Reddit User: tortuganinja
Going In For The Hug
My story is more awesome than it is embarrassing. I contracted mumps during my first year of college, and one of the symptoms was orchitis: the swelling of one’s male parts. My left side swelled up to the size of a potato and was really painful and heavy. The only way I could get around was to carry it everywhere I went….
While at the doctor’s, he checked my mumps, and then I told him about the condition down below. I dropped my pants, laid down on the bed, and waited for him to examine it. He laughed when he saw it and said, “What seems to be the problem?” jokingly. I pointed to my regular-size one and said, “This one shrank.” He laughed for 5 minutes straight. Reddit User: [redacted]
Weighing Everything Around Me
I hadn’t seen my doctor in over a year, and while going towards the examination room, we met just outside of the door. He spread his arms, and it took me by surprise, but I went along with it; I started to move in for “the hug,” but then something happened….
He stepped back a little and made it completely clear that he wasn’t going to hug me, he was just politely gesturing for me to enter the room before him. I felt myself turn red, so I put my head down while marching into the room. Reddit User: AnalogDigit2
Disarming My Dentist
The last time I visited the doctor, I was kept waiting in the exam room for an absurdly long time. Boredom set in, and I started to look for things to do. There was a scale in the corner of the room, so I thought that it would be fun to weigh different objects in the room….
I started with my shoes and then moved on to the magazines and my clothes. When I ran out of personal things, I surveyed the room and wondered how much the chair weighed, so on the scale it went. At that exact moment, the doctor and her resident walked into the room to find me wearing nothing but a hospital gown and socks, trying to balance a chair on the scale. Reddit User: linds360
You’re Hurting Me
For a while, my two front teeth were really loose, and I wanted to get them out the old-fashioned way, by having them attached to a door handle and slamming it. My mom insisted that I go to the dentist, so I did. I got into the chair, and I was sweating bullets.
The dentist who noticed my discomfort said, “Chill, kid; I will freeze your teeth. It will only be a pinch, then it’s over….” But all the calmness went out the window when I saw the syringe. I freaked out and kicked the dentist right in the arm to disarm the syringe.
My mom, who was standing right nearby, shouted at me, “Calm down, right now!” After bursting into tears and flipping over that small plate that had all the dental equipment, I eventually calmed down and had those teeth extracted. Reddit User: MagicFeet
Saying Hello
I had a yearly gynecologist checkup, and it was with a doctor I’d never met before. We were talking during the exam, and it was going fine, but I had to keep telling her that she was hurting me. When were all finished, I went to the counter to get my pills, and she came out of the office holding a $5 bill and asked if it was mine….
It was; it must have accidentally fallen out of my pocket, so I responded by saying, “Ya, it’s a tip; hopefully you’ll go gentler next time” and gave her a wink. She just handed me the money and didn’t even smile back at me. Luckily, I never had to deal with her again. Reddit User: princessK8
It Might Be Serious
I had a urinary tract infection, and unfortunately, my primary doctor was away from the office. So, I had no choice but to end up seeing a new doctor. When I got there, I was taken aback by how attractive she was, and by the time my clothes were off for the examination, my nether regions were really tying to make their presence known….
The attending doctor managed to shrug off my reaction pretty well. She even gave a chuckle and actually made the comment, “I wish my husband had the same reaction to me.” I then found out that her husband was my primary doctor. Reddit User: LaheyDrinks
Holding Me Down
I had a condition known as vasovagal syncope; it causes a sudden drop in your heart rate and blood pressure, causing me to faint (to certain triggers). Every once in a while, when I would go #2, I would end up fainting. I went to the doctor after the third time I fainted.
I was worried that it could be something serious. When the doctor figured it out, he said, “Oh wow, that’s really embarrassing, hold on, I HAVE to tell Barry this!” and then sent me to the cardiologist for some EKGs. Thank goodness that it went away. Reddit User: ahab_and_the_whale
Unwanted Guests
I got bitten by my dog when I was 8 years old and needed to get stitches on my top lip. The problem with getting stitches at that age is that it is much more painful. Not only that, but needles are required for the procedure, and just by telling me, I was already one foot out the door….
My hatred for them caused me to flail around and try to escape. From what they told me, I hit a doctor in the chin, and it took my father sitting on my chest, a nurse on each leg and arm, and a doctor holding my head still so I could get 5 stitches. Reddit User: jugganath
For Everyone to See
A few years ago, I’d regularly visit the health department’s gynecologist because I didn’t have health insurance at the time. I usually requested a female doctor because it made me more comfortable, and the visit was going well until she asked if it was okay for a student doctor to come into the room with us….
Not thinking about it, I said yes, and in walks this amazingly handsome man while my legs are up in the air. I have never been so mortified in my life. My instant reaction was to snap my legs closed, and I did, forgetting that my doctor was in between them. I wasn’t good. Reddit User: [redacted]
My “Medication” History
I decided to get a vasectomy for personal reasons, and everything was going well…that is, until the doctors were cauterizing the hole that they had made. My skin smoked way more than it should have, to the point where it set off the fire alarm in the operating room….
What ended up happening naturally was that numerous people of several different professions from the hospital ended up in the room where my business was exposed. At least I was unconscious when it happened so I didn’t have to see it happening. Reddit User: pluckythewhale
Crying in Front of the Ladies
During the question and answer portion of an interview one time, the nurse didn’t ask about “medication usage,” but I noticed that she checked the “yes” box. When the doctor walked into the room, he just asked me, “So, what kind of medication are you on?”
I responded by saying that I didn’t know what he was talking about…. He was convinced that I was just lying. He showed me the ticked box and then began explaining what confidentiality was. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed. Reddit User: Alxhooter
Explaining How I Found It
When I was 25 years old, I had to go for laser lithotripsy (a procedure where they break up kidney stones), after which I would be left with a stint, which would be removed two weeks later. So, I got into the appointment, and all the nurses in the office were around my age and very attractive….
They were all getting trained on what to do for my procedure. So there I am, with 5 good looking women. They all watch as I take off my pants, and one of them puts a paper blanket over my nether region. We sit there for about 15 minutes before the doctor comes in and completely embarrasses me….
He just whips off the blanket and gives me a painful shot on the top of my stuff. I’d never been in so much pain before in my whole life. He then walks out to get the stint, leaving me exposed as I cried. It was really super embarrassing. Reddit User: R12356
Calling for Help…Five Times
My husband found a rash on me, and no matter what I put on it, it wouldn’t go away. Despite it being in a personal area, I decided to go to a walk-in clinic because I wanted it gone. When I got there, there were two doctors on duty: an older man, and a handsome younger man….
As I walk into the examination room, I secretly hope that I get the older doctor due to the embarrassing location of my rash; the way that my partner discovered it would have to come up. I end up getting the hot young doctor, and sure enough, I had to explain how I found my lovely rash. Reddit User: Schandels
Being Squeezed Hundreds of Times
A few days ago, I went to the hospital with this stabbing pain in my side. I thought that I was dying, but my dad said that it might be appendicitis. When I went to the hospital, the doctors and nurses kept asking me if I’ve ever had a kidney stone before, and every time, I said no….
I had to get a CT scan and X-rays and lo and behold, there was a 3mm kidney stone. Unfortunately, I can’t handle much pain, so even the shot that I was given hurt. There I was, a 19-year-old, crying in front of my dad. I ended up pressing the help button 5 times because I threw up from the pain. Reddit User: Church-of-Nephalas
Instant Relief
I had to go to the doctor to get my man parts checked because one side of me was swollen really badly, and there was a mild burning sensation. I wasn’t an adult, so my parents came to every one of the dozens of doctors I visited. Every time, I would be squeezed in that region, all for them to tell me that it was inflamed, which I already knew….
The last doctor ended up doing an echo on me and said that it could be a case of torsio testis (being rotated or twisted down there). I was slightly relieved, but now I’m quite sure that all the doctors in the state have seen my parts. Reddit User: danbenver04
The Worrisome Pink Spots
One day while at work, I rushed down to the doctor’s office because I seriously thought that I was having a heart attack. My chest was in so much pain, I was sweating, and I felt faint. The doctor checked for everything: blood clots, bone fragments, all my organs, the works….
After a while, he told me that the chest muscles around my heart are just worn out because of my new implants. He made me take off my bra, and I instantly felt better. I was so embarrassed, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Reddit User: Runwithscissors
Lying to My Doctor
I woke up one day with a really sore throat, unlike anything I’d experienced before. While trying to get a good look at my throat, I noticed these large pink spots all over the very back of my tongue, which took me by surprise, as I’d never noticed them before….
After a week of fretting, my mom decided that I should go to the doctor. When he examined my throat and tongue, he told me that what he was seeing was…my taste buds. I have never seen my doctor smile so wide before, and to this day, my family still teases me about it. Reddit User: va_bene
Reaching for the Stars
Two to three days after doing the deed for the first time, I went to the doctor’s office. At the time, I was only 17, so my doctor asked if I could be questioned in front of my mom, to which she, not I, responded yes. The doctor gave me “the talk,” while my mom nodded and said that I’m not a stupid girl and I knew to wait….
She also told the doctor that I would tell her everything when the time came. I didn’t honestly want to do that, but I had to lie and say it was just my time of the month to avoid having the normal checkup exam in front of the doctor. Reddit User: namesurnn
The Poor Nurse
Because I played so many sports in school, I had to go get a physical, and it was my first one. The doctor performed a number of tests before moving down to check my nether region. When it was time for the doctor to check it out, I got pretty nervous because I’m kind of insecure about my body….
I was so worried about it that by the time that I removed my clothing, my nether parts were, let’s say, reaching for the stars. My doctor just laughed it off, thankfully, probably having seen it tons of times before. But I can’t seem to shake off the shame. Reddit User: Shirrow
Getting a Pair of Scrubs
Because I have epilepsy, I’m not able to take a birth control pill. There’s some component of it that will negatively interact with my current epilepsy medication. So after looking for other sources of contraception, I decided that the best option is the shot, but the only problem is that it needs to be injected…on my butt….
The first time the nurse stuck me with the needle, it took me by surprise, and I let one slip. It wasn’t silent, and it was deadly. It went straight in her face, and I could hear her gagging. The poor nurse…I get gassy when I’m nervous. Reddit User: Loves_me_tacos125
Only One Side
I had to go to the emergency room after feeling unwell for some time. The orderly tells me that she has to take some blood to run for some tests, and I immediately tell her about my fear of needles. She smiles and says I won’t feel a thing, so we head into a room, and she begins to draw it….
Ten seconds into her drawing the blood, I pass out. I wake up not too long after, and I notice that I’m not wearing the clothes I came in with. The orderly told me that I peed myself. I was so embarrassed, but at least I got a pair of scrubs. Reddit User: Comp112
New Year’s Eve 2001
Because I had a hernia, I’d have to go to the doctor quite frequently to get it looked at. One day, while going to a new doctor, after the formalities were out of the way, he asked me to remove my pants, and I did. I completely forgot that I did not finish the task I set out for myself the previous night….
In preparation for the visit, I began to shave, but somewhere between me starting and finishing, I decided to stop. What was left was exactly one half of my hair shaved and the other half as hairy as can be. The doctor looked up at me and said, “It’s easy to start, but it’s hard to finish, isn’t it?” Reddit User: Andrewdles
My Girlfriend’s Remark
It was New Year’s Eve 2001, and I woke up with this unexplainable and unbearable pain on the left side of my abdomen. It was so bad that I couldn’t move, and after about three hours, I crawled across the house in tears to call my mom, who was at work.
She came home and ended up rushing me to the ER, where they did several tests and x-rays….Luckily there was only one other person in the ER that day: an old lady who had a cut on her head and who tried to comfort me as I fought back breaking into tears.
The doctor came in, looked at me, and whispered, “I don’t know how to tell you this…but your colon is full of poo.” I screamed, “That’s it! Get it out of me!” I took the salt drink option and was in the bathroom for eight hours straight. I felt so much better. Reddit User: [redacted]
There’s a Lot of Hair
I had to visit my doctor to get my back looked at. It had been bothering me for some time, so I decided to go and bring my girlfriend with me for moral support. For some reason, which I cannot explain to this day, I began to limp as soon as my name was called.
There was nothing wrong with my legs or feet, but I just could not walk properly…. My girlfriend, who was just as confused, said, “It’s your back that’s bad! Why are you limping, you muppet!” She said it so loud that the entire room of people heard her. Thanks, babe. Reddit User: dithery
Coming on Strong
I was sitting on the wooden step that brought you from the kitchen to the living room when all of a sudden, I slid backward, and there was a sharp pain in my butt. I called a family member for help, and we saw a sliver of wood in my behind. We tried to get it out, but it was really in there, so we had no choice but to go to the ER….
We get there, and the nurse calls me in to get into the examination room to get it out. As she is removing the sliver, I hear another nurse comment on how hairy I am on my back and butt. I was pretty embarrassed, so I stayed silent. Reddit User: [redacted]
I was having really bad back spasms, so I called a chiropractor who agreed to see me that same day. The office was named after a nearby church, and all they played was Christian music. There was even a picture of Jesus stuck on the wall, but whatever, I went along with it….
The chiropractor, an attractive older guy probably in his 50s, asked me a million questions. I was in a lot of pain, and all I wanted was for my back to be cracked, but this guy had other ideas. He kept moving me to different rooms, where he began to ask personal questions, some about my husband….
I thought he was weird, but again, I was in a lot of pain. As he cracked my back, which is what I’d been waiting for, he walked around and tickled my feet. After that, he “personally” called me twice to ask how I was doing and if I’d like another appointment. Reddit User: seamonster1609