YOU AND WHAT ARMY?
The norms of society tell us that vengeance is bad, but what do they know? They’re not the ones who were wronged or had to suffer the long-lasting consequences of someone else’s actions. This is why some people resort to petty vengeance to get back at someone.
In most cases, their actions are more annoying than extremely harmful. Just ask these people who opted not to take the high road and chose vengeance instead. Their stories are, for the most part, hilarious and oh-so inspiring, but hopefully, no one went overboard because jail is no fun.
CANCELLED FRIEND
As a kid, Reddit user redandpurpleunicorns learned at an early age that the best way to handle bullies was to stand up to them. Doing so allowed them to take out a juice thief and stop another one from stealing their lunch.
“I think one of the most satisfactory ones for me was when I got back at my bullies. I got into fights because I’d physically defend friends weaker, smaller, and younger than me. Eventually, the bullies had had enough.
The main girl literally recruited two years worth of bullies. My friends sat at our usual table. The hall was weirdly empty, then came in ALL the bullies and sat at two (eight-person each) tables.
Three of them came up to me. They started insulting us. One grabbed my fork and started eating my pasta. She then picked up my cardboard juice box, stuck the straw in it, and started drinking. I clapped my hands together and all the juice flooded into her mouth where she was forced to splutter it all down herself.
The rest of the bullies found this hilarious, and, not having a nice fun fight to get involved in, left. The main bully with the juice all over her started yelling at me. I said, “Oh yeah? You and what army?” She panicked and fled. I ate my pasta and one of my friends shared their drink with me.”
CHECK UNDER THE BUS
When Reddit user BanyonNoble discovered that her best friend had been talking smack about her, she decided to cancel her out of her life and it worked out better than she could have expected in the end.
“My former roommate/best friend out of the blue started spreading completely fabricated rumors about me. When I heard about them, I didn’t confront her or call her out.”
“Instead, I blocked her in every way, took all my stuff out of our shared storage unit and never reminded her about paying her half. Months later, she showed up on my doorstep to tell me that they had repoed everything in the unit.
She had every childhood photo, family heirlooms, expensive furniture, and a small jewelry collection in there. Got what she deserved as far as I’m concerned.”
I DON’T KNOW YOU
If there’s one thing a middle-aged lady learned as she was fumbling through her purse for her bus card is that she should have never messed with Reddit user iamafrenchfurry. “I was at a subway station a couple of days ago getting back from Uni.
As I got off the subway to line up and go up the escalators, this middle-aged lady nudged me out of the way just as I got on to the steps, and made me trip over and fumble my bag. She stared at me and went on her way.
I was right behind her going up, and she probably saved like 0.01 seconds getting on the escalator before me.
As we made our way to the exit and I got up to the door frame, she went out of her way to nudge past me again. She gave me another stare as she went through the exit and stood there looking at me like she couldn’t believe I tried to go first or something.
There’s a bus terminal that connects to the subway on the street level, and we ended up waiting at the same stop. She was the first in line, and I was right behind her.
When the bus finally arrived, she really took her time fumbling through her purse, talking on her phone, and looking for her bus card. As she was searching for her card, she ended up dropping it right at the tip of my boot.
She was still busy talking on the phone while searching through her wallet. I thought about it for a second and decided to lightly slide her card underneath the bus with my foot.
Eventually, she realized that she might have dropped her card, so she packed her wallet back in her purse, hung up the phone and looked around for her card.
As she looked, she began getting increasingly worried, scanning everywhere for where she could have dropped it. I nudged her out of the way, gave her a stare, and made my way on to the bus. I sat happily on one of the seats.
I saw her flustered and panicked, as the next bus was coming in half an hour. The bus started to depart, and I opened the window and told her with glee, “Maybe you should check under the bus! I watched her for as long as I could until she was out of sight, and enjoyed the rest of my commute home.”
CONFERENCE CALL
When Reddit user Shileka’s boyfriend tried greeting a dwarf resident in his apartment complex, he was gutted by her unfriendliness. But when she needed a friend, he gave her a tiny dose of her own medicine.
“We live in an apartment block, and occasionally have new people move in and out. Yesterday we encountered a new resident, a short red-haired lady who, through dwarfism and food, manages to be about as wide as she is tall.
My boyfriend greeted her with a simple “Hello.” He also tried to say “welcome” but she cut him off with, “Shut up, I don’t know you.” Okay, not the sociable type, neither are we, best not get friendly then!
Today when returning from grocery shopping we found her trying to pick the lock with what looks like a piece of a paperclip because you know, that’s going to work.
She’s apparently been at it a while because before we could open the door with our key, a patrol car stopped and an officer called out to her.
The officer asked her why she was breaking in, to which she responded she lived here. She turned to us and said, “They know me.” My boyfriend smiled and said, “I don’t know you.”
We entered the building after the officer asked us to confirm, and my boyfriend repeated: “We don’t know her.” Can’t wait to have more contact with her…”
POUT LIKE A CHILD
Reddit user AndyBrown65 was so sick and tired of one of his co-workers talking to people on conference calls that he sabotaged the guy’s phone to curb that behavior.
“Years ago I was working for a company where I had an office and the neighboring department was all open plan. We shared coffee facilities so I would often speak to the people in this department over a coffee.
There was one idiot called Trevor in that department who would only talk to people on his desk phone on a conference call — every conversation. Needless to say, the rest of the department were annoyed with this loud and obnoxious person screaming on the blower.
As a senior guy, I casually raised this with Trevor. He responded by saying “you can go and get [bleeped]!” Now, as he was in a different department I had no authority over him and his boss was a moron too so I would have got a similar response.
After Trevor went home, I went to his desk and accidentally dropped some glue into the microphone on his phone. The next day it was set rock hard.
Of course, the phone rang and he answered it on a conference call, but of course, the person couldn’t hear him. He started screaming into the mic, but they still couldn’t hear him. They would then hang up and try again. This went on for a couple of calls until he answered the phone in the manner appropriate for the office.”
IT’LL ONLY BE A FEW MINUTES
As a server, Reddit user sunnygamez was used to dealing with customers who were a real nightmare, but there was this one woman who was behaving like a child, so she decided to treat her like one as revenge.
“I’m a server at Denny’s. Today I had a grown woman come in with her two little kids and ask for a booth. I cleaned one and sat her down. She then looks at me points at a booth across the restaurant and says she wants that one instead.
Okay, whatever. I move her. I sit her down and seat someone at the booth she was in originally.
Not 2 minutes later she comes up to me and asks for the other booth back because “I was there first and it’s nicer.” Yeah, I know lady: that’s why I sat you there. I tell her I can’t make other customers move and she can keep the one she’s in now or wait until a new one opens.
She then says, “No, I want that one. I was there first they have to move.” I told her, ” I’m sorry I can’t do that.” She asks for the manager. I get him and explain the situation. He then tells her exactly what I said. She sits down crosses her arm and pouts like a child.
I proceeded to walk to her table with a huge smile on my face and hand her 3 children’s menus. I looked her dead in the eyes and asked what color crayon she wanted.
She goes, “I’m an adult!” I gave her green and walked away. She walked out, but the satisfaction of not getting in trouble or having to serve her was worth it.”
SUBSCRIPTION REVENGE
When another driver got in the way of the loading bay, Reddit user christhewelder75 asked them to move politely. When the driver refused, he bided his time and waited for the opportunity to block her car in.
“So years ago I delivered jugs of water to homes and offices. My work truck was fairly big probably about 35ish feet long. I had a building I delivered to that had 8-10 stops in it and was one of the few places that had a loading bay for delivery vehicles.
This bay was wide enough for 2 large trucks side by side and long enough for my truck to mostly fit with a bit of the cab sticking out in the alleyway (not so far as to block traffic).
On the other side of the alley was another building, and the dumpsters for said building. These dumpsters were in a position that it could be a little tight to get into the dock but it was doable. This day I pull up and see a small courier car (size of a Honda civic) pull into the bay and stop right at the entrance.
This position is just enough that I cant get the angle I need to be able to nose up to the dumpsters and back into the open spot in the loading bay. If I tried I’d likely hit the car. Luckily for me, the driver was just getting out of the car.
So I politely asked if she could back up a couple of feet so I could get into the dock. “I’ll only be gone for a few minutes,” she said. “Yes, but if you take 5 seconds, we can both do what we need to do,” “It’ll only be a few minutes!” she replied.
Then she just walks into the building. So I’m kinda stunned at this point. I’ve been in the delivery industry for almost a decade most other drivers get that it’s a tough job and we can all do what we need to do and there’s kinda an unwritten code even amongst competitors.
So I maneuver my truck nice and tight to the building so as not to block the alleyway while parking perpendicular to the loading dock entrance and blocking her car in. I start loading the first of 2 or 3 cartloads into the building. She comes out and sees my truck…
“Well, isn’t this cute? You need to move,” she demanded. “It’ll only be a few minutes,” I replied. “I need to go. Move your truck now,” she continued. By this time my cart is loaded and I tell her, “It’s okay, I’ll only be a few minutes.” And I walk into the building.”
FLEX TIME
Reddit user NiChiKazuki was the kind of gal that didn’t appreciated being cheated on. She just couldn’t let it go, not even after they broke up.
So, she set a plan into motion to complicate his life and years later learned her plan had worked. “Back in 2001, I was cheated on by a guy I dated for a few years.
After we broke up, I went to Walmart’s book aisle. I grabbed about 40 subscription postcards out of the magazines and filled them all out with his name and address. I marked the ‘bill me later option’ and mailed them slowly over a few weeks.
Five years later, we hung out via mutual friends, and in the garage, there were so many magazines that the two-car garage was a one car garage.
Three years after this, we were talking and he mentioned how his credit was screwed up because he didn’t pay for some magazine subscriptions and they turned him in to the collection agency.”
FOOD BANDIT
Reddit user throwaway47283 discovered that having a job that offered flex time had its perks. One of the most obvious one was that if they came in at a later time, then their boss couldn’t dump somebody else’s work on them. So that’s exactly what they did.
“I work in an office with flexible hours. We can start anytime from 8 am to 9:30 am. I’m always in the office at 8:15 am. Usually, if work comes in urgently in the morning, my supervisor gives it to me to complete since I’m one of the few in the team presently in the office.
Well, yesterday I came into the office at my usual time and one of my colleagues was working on an urgent task given to him at 8 am. He had to pause the task for 20 minutes so my supervisor told me to complete it while he’s away from the office. I couldn’t even have my breakfast or even drink water because of how urgent this task was.
I was still working on it when he came back. He asked “how are you going with the task?” and I explained that I’m still working on it and that I found a few mistakes and showed it to him.
He puts his hands up in the air and says, “Nope. Not my responsibility anymore” and walks off. Really? I was livid. But this needed to be done and I have no time for drama.
I finished work 5:30 pm that day. Before I left, my supervisor told me that she got a HUGE workload given to her and that she will need to give it to someone urgently in the morning to complete.
I knew that my colleague would be in the office at 8 am again. Guess who is walking in the office at 9:15 am today with a cup of fresh coffee and breakfast?”
NEIGHBORHOOD BULLY
Reddit user Steele724’s co-worker was upset that someone was taking everyone’s lunch at work. So, they dosed their food with things that would make the bandit think twice before ever stealing anyone’s lunch ever again.
“Several coworkers and I noticed that our lunches and drinks would constantly go missing, even when clearly marked. One of my coworkers was a diabetic and it ended up causing him to have a hypoglycaemic incident due to having his food taken.”
“So after that, things got serious. He brought in a lunch that was laced with laxatives and a Carolina reaper extract oil. The previous diabetic incident was well documented and HR at this point was now aware of the food bandit. Luckily, that day, he hit the jackpot.”
“Turns out it was someone from HR who was taking people’s food. We heard a blood-curdling scream when the guy took his first bite and he was caught red-handed. It only got better from there. He stayed in the office the remainder of the day as things were sorted out.
However, he ended up in the bathroom suffering even more. So not only did he get his mouth burned, he was pooping his brains out at the same time.”
GUMMY BEAR MELTDOWN
Reddit user kperkins1982 and her siblings were sick and tired of raking the same pile of leaves in their yard because of a neighborhood bully. So, they made a huge pile around something that would really hurt the annoying kid when he tried scattering the leaves.
“My mother had really bad asthma and allergies and made us kids rake up the leaves. This was not an easy task. They would get several feet deep if we didn’t do it often enough. One day we raked the whole yard into these giant piles for the city to come pick up. This took several hours.
The next morning, they were scattered all over. We raked them again over several more hours and it happened again. Apparently, the neighborhood bully was knocking them over just to be a jerk.
The next time, we made a super huge pile around the fire hydrant hoping he’d kick them and hurt his foot. Nope, this time he decided to do a run and jump. I watched it peeking through the blinds. He ended up breaking several bones. I didn’t even feel bad.”
EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLLS
Reddit user JebbieSans187 was so heartbroken that he had been cheated on that he went to the nearest dollar store, bought himself a giant bag of gummy bears and used them to exact his revenge.
“My ex cheated. There was a dollar store near her work that I liked. So I went in and spent a dollar on a giant bag of gummy bears. I opened the and ate one. It was sweet! I had another! So good! These were my favorite gummy bears by far!
I felt bad for wasting them by throwing them on her windshield on a hot day… but it was totally worth it.”
PEANUT BUTTER REVENGE
Reddit user shanderdrunk didn’t appreciate his little sister never changing the toilet paper roll, so he used all the empty rolls she left behind to take sweet, petty revenge against her. “My little sister NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. Like totally empty, roll under the counter, and doesn’t bother to change it.
So I collected the empty rolls for about four months, and the next time she did it I took all of them, pulled up her sheets, and hid them all under the form-fitting sheet on the bed. It took her a long time to find all of them.”
THE COFFEE DECEPTION
Reddit user benlara found a clever way to get his roommate to stop using his peanut butter. Unfortunately, for his roommate, it cost him more than a brand new jar of peanut butter.
“My roommate kept on grabbing my peanut butter without asking, so I bought a bottle of laxative and made sure all of it went into the jar.
I locked the bathroom door when I left in the morning. He pooped on himself and all over his bed — it was so bad he had to buy a new one.”
INTERNET ISSUES
When a rude customer started treating the baristas at his joke like garbage, Reddit user midnight_trains and his co-workers decided to switch the guy’s caffeine order to decaf.
“I worked at a coffee shop in high school and this businessman came in every morning. He was always extremely rude and treated all the baristas like we were garbage. This guy truly talked to us like we were worthless servants.
Buddy would order a quad shot americano, so we collectively started pouring him only decaf. He would sometimes come in on his lunch break and would muse out loud about how coffee just didn’t get him going like it used to.”
TACOS AND HOT SAUCE
Reddit user Nightskyee and her husband couldn’t get a wink of sleep because of their noisy houseguest who loved playing online video games at night. But things got quieter when they started sabotaging the internet box.
“When my husband and I got our first apartment together, we lived with someone who didn’t have much going on schedule-wise and would stay up until 3 or 4 a.m. playing video games online with friends and shouting.”
“We asked him to be quieter after midnight because both my husband and I had early mornings, but he would always do that thing where he was quiet for about 10 minutes and then got even louder than before.
So my husband started unplugging/replugging the internet box after midnight and then when he knocked on our door and asked if we knew why the internet was out, we’d play dumb and promise to call Comcast in the morning,” she added.
BAD KARAOKE
Reddit user killeroftherose didn’t appreciate rude customers treating her badly at the drive-thru. That’s a lesson one customer learned the hard way when she took her frustration out on the meal he had ordered.
“I was working at a taco place in the drive-thru, and this one customer was being so rude. He ordered some things, and I repeated back his order, and he said I was completely wrong and wasn’t listening.”
“Then he kept yelling at me through the speaker. When he got to the window, he didn’t even look at me when he handed over his money. Of course, I was angry. One of the things he ordered was ten crunchy tacos with mild sauce.
Before I gave him his tacos, I “checked” his ten tacos and crushed seven of them. Then I threw in twelve packets of Diablo sauce and only two packets of mild sauce,” she ended.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PSYCHO
Reddit user komanti123 was annoyed that their neighbors would throw loud karaoke parties that lasted way past midnight. So he decided to give them a dose of their own medicine.
“Neighbors had a party with karaoke (pretty bad karaoke) that lasted until about 4 a.m., blasting the speakers with Rancheritas, Corridos, bad oldies Spanish pop.
I decided to wash my car with speakers blasting Cannibal Corpse at 6 a.m. when they had just gone to sleep. The next time they had a party, they came over beforehand and said it was going to be over by midnight. It was.”
FELINE INVASION
As a child, Reddit user cinnemazeia didn’t lash out at their parents the way most kids did with temper tantrums. Instead, they would go into their bedroom and sabotage their favorite books.
“Whenever I fought with or got mad at my parents when I was very young (five to seven years old), instead of giving them attitude, I’d just bite my tongue… then later sneak into their bedroom and rip out the following five to ten pages of whatever book they were reading at the time. I was a tiny little passive-aggressive psycho.
SNOWY REVENGE
When Reddit user still_depresso learned that his neighbor had hit his cat because she had stumbled onto his lawn, he decided to throw something into his yard that led to a feline invasion.
“A neighbor tried to hit my cat when she was chilling on his lawn. I got so annoyed, I ordered a ton of catnip seeds from Amazon and threw it all over his lawn. The cat situation got so bad for him that he had to move out.”
REPORTED STOLEN
Reddit user phaqueue learned that revenge was a dish best-served cold, or in this case, several shovels full of snow onto his neighbor’s car. And that’s exactly what he did. “When I lived in this apartment complex, there was a huge blizzard one winter. The apartment complex had a parking lot. I was parked in the space right in front of my apartment.”
“It took me three hours to shovel out my car and the space, toting the snow to the grassy areas instead of just throwing it into the lot or other spaces. It was brutal. I leave for work that night, and the jerk neighbor, who was parked in the space next to mine… brushed off his car a little, pulled out of his space without shoveling and parked in the space I had just shoveled.
I WAS PEEVED. So I spent another two or so hours shoveling out the space he had been parked in… directly onto his car.”
HOT LEMONADE
Reddit user Icommentor recalled a time when a customer had been so rude to him, that he decided to return the favor by doing something to his credit card that undoubtedly ruined his day.
“I worked at a small stationery store in the early 90s. I had a customer who was the rudest I’ve ever met. He paid with his credit card, so I copied his card details to a post-it note.
Later that day, I called his credit card company, claiming to be the guy and reporting the card as stolen so they would stop it. I figured the next clerk he belittled in a store would have his best day ever.”
WET THE SEAT
Reddit user Zypher4us might have been younger but she was a force to be reckoned with. That was a lesson her big sister had learned the hard way when she discovered that lil sis had made her lemonade extra hot.
“I don’t remember what my older sister did, but I had to pay it back, with interest. So the eight-year-old old me makes a jar of lemonade (both of us loved it), threw in a lot of pepper sauce, stirred it until it was at the right color again, closed almost every water valve of the house, hid every water bottle, then offered her some.
I watched her drain the cup quickly, then her eyes widened and she went crazy searching for water. She finally got some in our gramma’s shower; that was in the opposite side of the house.”
NO CREDIT
This deleted Reddit user didn’t mind kids on a plane as long as they behaved. Unfortunately, the miscreant that was sitting next to them was an annoying rascal and his mother was useless. So, they did something that made the rest of the flight a lot more peaceful.
“I was on a transatlantic flight and was sitting on the first row of the plane. The woman next to me had a baby in a crib and a small child. She sat on the opposite end of the row from me and sat her toddler right next to me leaving an empty seat between her and her kid.
I had no issue with any of it until food arrived and the child started moving around a lot and kicking my computer and was making it impossible for me to eat. I asked her politely to do something about this and her reply was that it is known that those seats are for people with children.
I was so angry I couldn’t eat. I took my tiny wine bottle to the bathroom and filled it up with water. Then I waited. When she took the kid to the toilet I proceeded to pour the water on the seat next to me.
They came back and after 10 minutes the kid said to the mother that he is wet. She sat the child in the other seat and put a towel on the wet seat and sat there. Didn’t say a word to me. I think I slept the rest of the flight,” the user ended.
TV CABLE
Reddit user SempreNotte had slept with someone at work, who proved to be nothing more than a heartbreaker. But she got her petty vengeance when she noticed a typo in the end credits of the show they worked on.
“I worked on a TV show where I was one of several people overseeing the end credits. I had hooked up with a crew member after telling him I liked him and was interested in dating him.
He enthusiastically agreed, slept with me, and THEN informed me (a week later) he wasn’t interested in dating. I was heartbroken but also … mad. When the credits made their way to me, noticed they were missing a letter from his last name. I didn’t point it out, and they were published incorrectly. No regrets.”
MAILBOX REVENGE
When Reddit user Skipadedoda’s neighbor started blowing leaves into his yard, he decided to grab a shovel and cut access to his cable and Wi-Fi service. “I have large trees in my yard. My neighbor next door blows all the leaves into my yard with his lawnmower. He says they’re my leaves from my tree.
In doing so, he also leaves all of his grass clippings mixed in with the leaves. I blew them back; he called the cops. This happened several times.
His TV cable is buried in my yard. It runs from a pole underground through ten feet of my yard. During the local football game, I took a shovel and jumped on it. He lost TV and Wi-fi for two days. The cable company ran a new line. It messed up my yard a bit, but I know where it is. Just in case.”
BROKEN TV
Reddit user DylanCO’s dad was tired of someone taking out his mailbox. So, he made the mailbox virtually invincible, which was something that guy that drove into it learned the hard way.
“When I was a kid, our mailbox got taken out like once a month. Finally, after the 10th mailbox and post, my dad was fed up.
So he got an eight-foot I-beam and buried it four feet down and filled in the hole with Quickrete. Next time it got hit, the jerk wrapped his car around it. Like the mailbox/pole was sticking out of the middle of his car. After that, I don’t think the mailbox was ever hit again.”
THE TABLECLOTH
Reddit user SteevyT learned to never get on his wife’s bad side, especially after she came up with a perfect way to take revenge on her own brother for something he did to her back when they were teenagers. “My brother-in-law did something to irritate my wife back when they were in high school.”
“My wife turned off the TV, wrote “broken” on a piece of paper taped to the TV, shut off the power strip, and flipped the batteries around in the remote. It took my brother-in-law several days to figure it out.”
THE FURBY INVASION
When the restaurant Reddit user pierced7 was having brunch in charged him for table linen, he did the only sensible thing he could do. But it still the surprised the heck out of the waiter.
“I went to a restaurant for brunch. Upon receiving my bill I noticed a $3 charge for table linen. As I was leaving I folded up the tablecloth. The waiter said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I paid for it, I’m taking it home.” And I did.”
ROTTEN POTATOES
Reddit user heatherGOwhoa can’t remember what a fellow high school student did to her, but she knows it wasn’t good. So, in retaliation, she forced her to face one of her worst fears.
“A girl in high school did something to annoy me. I can’t even remember what it was. She made it well-known to everyone that she was terrified of Furbys. So I brought one to school, found people in all of her classes, and passed it along between them so that it followed her all day. She ended up having a panic attack; I almost felt bad.”
CHARITY REVENGE
A girl Reddit user rileyharp88 knows decided to leave her ex-boyfriend something to remind him of her before she left, except he didn’t realize what she’d done until the items started to rot.
“I know a girl that broke up with her idiot boyfriend and moved out. But before she left she hid potatoes all over his house where he couldn’t find them, so that when they rot months and months later he will never get rid of the smell.”
VENGEANCE DELIVERED
When Reddit user omgginalol lost her job, she didn’t get mad. She got even in the most interesting way. Instead of going back and wrecking the salon, she gave free haircut cards to charity.
“I’m a hairstylist and I got fired from a salon job over some nepotistic hogwash. Luckily, I had about 60 free haircut cards lying around my apartment. So I donated them all to a charity that helps recent parolees get back on their feet.
On one hand, it’s nice to help people. On the other, it’s also nice to know that they’ll probably use the free haircut card, never come back, and not tip the stylists.”
POOP LAND MINES
Reddit user Chardlz didn’t appreciate his neighbor yelling at him to keep his dog off her lawn. So he had USPS deliver revenge on her, but this was just part of his master plan.
“My neighbor flipped out on me because my dog was sniffing her lawn and yelled, “Get your dog off my lawn! Don’t let him poop on my lawn!”
It really got to me so I ordered 500 boxes from USPS to her house every two weeks for a few months (you can order up to 500 of any size for free).
I also mixed five bullion cubes for chicken broth (usually you use like two or three for a large pot of soup) into a water bottle with a hole in the cap and I’d just spray it all over the last foot or so of her lawn the whole length every day for a few weeks so that every dog, cat, and stray/wild animal would go sniff her lawn every time they passed by it.”
THE EGG-SPLOSION
The neighbor was allowing their dog to poop on Reddit user mysteryslice’s yard and there was no way he was going to put up with that. So, in retaliation, he gifted his neighbor some of his dog’s pop land mines.
“My girl told me that the neighbor across the street was instructing his dog to go poop on our lawn. At first, I doubted he was telling his dog to do that, but I was home sick for a few days and saw it myself.
I asked the owner to stop it and he said the dog wouldn’t listen. When I asked him to at least clean up the poop, he said his dog was only peeing.”
“We had our own dog and I took a week’s worth of his land mines plus the neighbor’s dog’s poops for the week and walked across the street and threw them all over his front yard and walkway one night. Somehow the neighbor’s dog listened after that and never pooped in my yard again.”
NOISE WAR
Reddit user SenorBeef was pretty upset that someone had driven up to them and thrown an egg at them, but not nearly as upset as the driver was when vengeance was served.
“When I was about 14, I was walking down a road with my friend. Some older teenagers in a car pulled up next to us, threw an egg right at me, and then sped off.”
“Somehow, the egg hit me in the shoulder and then landed on the ground without exploding. It was still intact. The kids did a U-turn and came around to inspect the damage.
My friend picked up the egg and threw it right back at their car. Their window was down, and my friend hit them right at the base of the driver’s side window, creating a perfect airburst. The egg exploded everywhere.”
FREE FOOD
As a nursing student, Reddit user flecka22 knows how important sleep is, which is why she fought fire with fire when her neighbor refused to lower his TV at night. “My neighbor watches TV at night loudly. I’ve asked nicely for him to lower it (I’m a nursing student, so I need what little sleep I get).
Long story short, he wouldn’t lower it, and my apartment complex says it’s not loud enough to be considered a disturbance. I now play heavy metal music during the day and put the speaker right by the neighbor’s wall, so he’s not able to sleep during the day.
The music is a disturbance, but it’s not loud enough for the complex to consider it a disturbance, so they can’t do anything about it.”
POOP IN THE BED
Reddit user GhostPepperEater wasn’t about to pass up the chance to order themselves some free food, especially since it was ordered on the account of the jerk they worked with.
“I worked in a restaurant with a jerk in the early days of touchscreen point-of-sale systems. Whenever he forgot to log out, I would enter duplicate orders for his tables under his account.
Management thought he was a complete idiot and eventually he was even questioning himself. Meanwhile, the rest of the staff got free food.”
WAKEUP CALL
Most grandmas are kind and sweet, but Reddit user tmiller26 discovered that their grandma wasn’t always like that. In fact, when she was a teenager, she was a rebel, and the one girl that got in her way, ended up wishing she hadn’t.
“My grandma, when she was a teenager, was sent to an all-girls school with dorms, uniforms, and the whole shebang. Well, my grandma isn’t an all-girls school type of lady and would sneak out at night by leaving a window cracked open with a shoe.
One of the girls at the school did not like my grandma and one night took her shoe out of the window, locking it. This makes it so you have to enter through the front, where a nun was stationed 24/7.
To retaliate, my grandma took a massive poop in this girl’s bed, then remade it. Yeah, my grandma didn’t last too long at that school.”
PSYCHO DISPATCHER
Not all hotel guests are nice. In fact, some are total nightmares, but the ones that get the brunt of the abuse are usually the housekeepers. But Reddit user kazzah69, who was a hotel housekeeper, knew exactly what one guest needed.
“I work as a hotel housekeeper. I was abused by an obnoxious special snowflake guest. During her room service, I set her bedside alarm clock to go off, full volume, at 2 a.m.”
LANGUAGE BARRIER
Reddit user KarmaticFox didn’t like the fact that her job’s dispatcher took half the day off but kept harassing her over the phone to see if they were busy so he could come to work. So, in revenge, she told him they were busy and the results were hilarious.
“In my old department, there was this dispatcher who probably shouldn’t be a dispatcher. We’ll call him G. One day, G needed to stay home for the gas and electric people to do some work on his home.
Instead of taking a whole day off, he made the mistake of telling our boss that he’ll be at work no later than noon, but he could be there sooner if it’s really busy.
G said he’d call to see how we were doing to see if he needed to come in early. I was left to dispatch for that day. I came in at 6 a.m. Starting at 7 a.m., he called numerous times. By the time it reached 9, G must have called at least 20 times.
Each time he said the same exact thing: “Is it busy? How does it look? Do I need to come in?” By the 20th call, I got fed up and told him that it’s really busy and we could use the help if he’s able to show up.
He hesitated because he had no one to watch the house, but eventually agreed and said he’ll be at work in a few minutes. When he came in, I let him know about the workload. He realized that it wasn’t that busy and asked why I did that.
My response? Because you called me more than a psycho ex. I had to stop you somehow. Our boss wouldn’t let him leave and thought the whole thing was hilarious especially since G knows better than to do things like that to me.”
RED FACED AND TEARY EYED
Reddit user 9aminATL doesn’t have an accent. Unfortunately, her co-worker did and a caller was giving her a hard time about it, too. But when the caller asked to speak to someone else, she transferred her to someone that undoubtedly made her even angrier.
“I was working at a call center. My coworker, who has a very rich southern accent, gets a call in. The woman on the other line detects her accent and gives her a hard time.
“She then requests someone “intelligent” with “better English”. My coworker tells the woman her English is fine and she can assist her. The lady says something to the effect of, “Just transfer me to someone else, tramp.” My coworker then sends her to the SPANISH line. I just about died from the laughter.”
VENGEFUL WIFE
Reddit user yakiho was tired of someone stealing their little sister’s lunch. So they dosed her food with Sriracha sauce, one of the hottest sauces around. And when one of the students came back from the bathroom looking all red faced and teary eyed, it became clear who the culprit was.
“Someone kept stealing snacks from my little sister’s lunch that was in her locker in elementary school. They even left the wrappers there. My sister had a suspect in mind but her teacher did not want to act on it. So we decided to prepare some Lindt chocolates: We scooped the middle part and put some Sriracha in them.
The next day, the kid did indeed fall into our trap and came back from her ”bathroom trip” with a red face and tearing eyes. She stopped stealing from my sister’s locker after that.”
SURROUNDED BY KIDS
Reddit user AnnabananaIL was heartbroken when she discovered that her husband had been cheating on her with a co-worker no less. But once she got over the initial shock, she got to work on the perfect revenge.
“When I found out my then-husband was sleeping with a coworker for over two years, he was in Denmark on business. I took every penny out of our joint account and opened a new account at a different bank.
When he called to ask why his debit card didn’t work, I acted puzzled. This went on for days until he called the bank. In the meantime, I’d gotten an attorney and filed for divorce, and changed all the locks. I also took his phone and threw it into the Mississippi River.”
TOXIC-IN-LAW
Reddit user ddub8 didn’t like his job as a restaurant host, but it paid the bills. Besides, he knew exactly how to handle difficult customers, like this one guy who was looking to sit as far away from kids as possible, but didn’t get his wish.
“This was about 15 years ago, in college, while I was a host at a crummy Mexican restaurant. It’s a normal, busy Saturday night, and this guy walks in, right past me. He circles through the whole restaurant, comes back, and points out the table he wants to sit at.”
“I do exactly as he asks. I knew what he was doing. He did not want to sit by any kids. Now, what happened next was completely avoidable, but he had angered me by acting like a smug jerk.
I proceeded to surround him with every party including kids. Loud kids, messy kids, small kids, birthday parties, I’ve got the perfect seat for you!”
“I could see that he was ready to erupt, but it was too dang funny. He came up and yelled at me in front of the entire restaurant for the slights. I played dumb and then went in the back and laughed my butt off with everyone else.”
HIS BATHROOM TOWEL
It’s hard to say who the toxic-in-law is in this narrative. On the one hand, Reddit user ripperowens’ sister-in-law was a real jerk. Then again, she was no angel either after the gift she left for her to open at her bridal shower.
“I gave my jerk sister-in-law a beautifully wrapped (like, tight wrapping paper with so much perfectly curled ribbon) copy of Toxic In-Laws at her bridal shower.
I obviously did not attend said shower, so she likely opened the gift in front of the crowd, for maximum embarrassment. Yes, yes, it made me look ridiculous, no doubt, but I know the irony probably shook her good, which was my goal.”
FORTIFIED PUMPKIN
Roommates are a nightmare. If anyone knew this, it was Reddit user natbar2000, who had a roommate that refused to dry themselves in the shower and left a puddle on the bathroom floor. But they found a clever way to get petty vengeance on them.
“My roommate in college used to get out of the shower dripping wet and leave water all over the bathroom floor. I asked him several times to dry himself off in the shower but he refused. Rather than get angry about it, I just started drying off the bathroom floor every morning with his bath towel.”
CHRISTMAS SABOTAGE
A deleted Reddit user shared what his friend did when their jerk neighbor kept running over their outdoor Halloween pumpkin decoration. Left with no other option, he made the next pumpkin so strong that it crippled the car.
“I have a friend whose pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. It happened every year.”
“So my friend decided to put a stop to it. He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete.
He filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display. The jerk broke the axle of his bad car when he hit that pumpkin. He could not drive away. My friend had his car towed.”
RINSE AND SPIN
Reddit user kittycatballouu was sick and tired of her micro-managing mom, so on Christmas Eve, she reprogrammed her mom’s phone to ensure that she wouldn’t have a holly jolly Christmas.
“I was at my mom’s for Christmas Eve one year with my husband. I was pregnant and she had been getting on my nerves because she micromanages the holidays and my siblings and I just wanted to relax. She also had a brand-new iPhone and I knew her password.”
“So I set her alarm to come on every hour on the hour starting at midnight and stopping at 7 a.m. I also changed the alarm tone every hour. One was a dog barking, which set off her two Shih Tzu-poodle mix dogs for almost 45 minutes before the next alarm went off 15 minutes later.
It was the best feeling in the world to hand over her phone after setting up those alarms, knowing what was going to happen. It’s one of my most cherished memories.”
YEARBOOK REVENGE
Reddit user nothingdoing didn’t like the fact that someone had taken his laundry out of the dryer and placed their clothes in instead. So, in retaliation, he decided that this person’s clothes could use several more rinse and spins in the washer.
“I used to be kind of an idiot. I’ve really mellowed out since. But sometime around 2001-2002, I had an incident in my university dorm laundry room. Anyway, I’m a freshman living in the dorms, it’s the weekend, and I’m doing laundry.
We had an unwritten rule in the dorm laundry room: if you don’t attend to your laundry, it’s totally cool for someone to pull it out and throw it on the table (wet or dry).
If you don’t like it, just promptly attend to your laundry when the washer or dryer turns off. I don’t like people touching my laundry, so I always set an alarm to be there when it’s done (on my digital watch, not my phone!).
I wash my clothes, throw them in the dryer, and set my timer. Soon after, my watch goes off and I walk back to the laundry room only to find my dryer load completely wet and on the table.
Oh heck no! Someone pulled my stuff from the dryer, only to dump it out and dry their stuff for free. Well, good news: I had more quarters, so I could dry my stuff just fine. Actually, I had enough quarters for my anonymous friend too — why didn’t they just ask?
So I grab their clothes and throw them in an open washing machine with six of my spare quarters. Actually, wait — I can drop another quarter in for a heavy cycle, which entitles you to an additional rinse and spin! I happen to have another quarter, so I do. The heavy cycle takes over an hour and a half to complete.
Now’s a good time to mention a nice feature the washing machines had that the dryers didn’t: they locked while in operation. The homie would have been stuck for about 100 minutes waiting for another chance to dry their clothes. I hope they made better choices the second time.
I was kind of a petty jerk as a baseline, and I look back with a bit of a shock that I didn’t dump in some bleach or turn the water hot. I’m glad I’ve outgrown that kind of thing, but I look back with some pleasure at that little guy standing up to some random inconsiderate person.”
Reddit user sav575757 held onto a grudge against a girl who hurt her in elementary school and kept on hurting her all through middle school. But in the end, she was the one who had the last laugh.
“So flashback to grade 1 and little ol’ me was happy being a little child. Until this girl in my class, let’s call her Mary, uninvited me to her birthday party so she could invite someone else. I was such a sad little nugget after that!
Anyways, for the next 10 years, Mary and I end up going to the same schools since we lived in the same school district. In elementary and middle school she would bully me and anyone not in the “in” crowd, but would get away with it because her dad was a teacher. Needless to say, Mary was not in my good books.
A few years later, it’s grade 9 and I am part of my middle school’s yearbook class, where we got to design and create the yearbook from photos taken at school events. One of the pages that we need to create was a talent show page. Mary happened to participate in the talent show doing a singing performance.
I saw an opportunity. I browsed through the photos of Mary singing at the talent show and found the one where her face was the most gloriously contorted and screwed up, as she was singing her high note.
I blew that photo way up and placed it in the middle of the page, carefully choosing background colors that wouldn’t take too much attention away from that moment in time where her visage was disheveled and distorted.
And that’s how we published the yearbook. I’m 21 now and almost have an undergrad degree, and I still think back to that glorious moment and pat myself on the back. I bought a copy of that yearbook so I will always have that revenge as a treasured memory.”