Oink, Oink
Gift giving, whether for the holidays, birthdays, or just because, can be a really exciting opportunity to bond with your friends and family while receiving something cool. Unfortunately, not every gift you receive is likely to be great… and sometimes, that’s on purpose. When people give passive-aggressive gifts, the drama can ramp up to a 10 real quick.
The people of the internet came together to dish on the most insulting, hilarious, and generally frustrating passive-aggressive gifts they’ve ever received (or given, if they’re brave enough to say so!). Have you ever gotten gifts like these?
Being a first-time mother, everything is overwhelming. I’m suffering from post-partum depression, I don’t like what I see in the mirror, and I’m unhappy and exhausted. I found solace in eating. I thought in time these would all pass, but I couldn’t be more wrong. When I hadn’t lost all my baby weight a year after giving birth and only added more, my MIL gave me a pig magnet for the refrigerator.
Dropping An Album
It oinked every time I opened the door. Reddit User: [redacted]
I remember my aunt gifting my mom some pants. She was so excited when my mom pulled it out of the paper bag. Whether my aunt was serious or not, I couldn’t really tell. The pants were obviously two sizes bigger and would make anyone look like they’re gonna drop a ’90s hip-hop album.
Eau De Tramp
I don’t understand how she could even ask, “Will they fit? I was afraid they might be too small.” Reddit User: [redacted]
When my dad first got together with my mom, it was quite scandalous. My dad’s mother and his sister took an instant dislike to my mom because of this, and it only got worse once they found out that they were expecting me out of wedlock with my mom still married to her previous fella. One Christmas, my auntie got my mom some perfume, but it wasn’t just any perfume.
How To Hold A Conversation
I believe the name of it was Eau De Tramp. It took a while for them to warm up to her in the family. Reddit User: [redacted]
My younger cousin, while I love her to death, cannot hold a conversation. I’ve never heard anything intelligent or thought-provoking come out of her mouth other than complaints and superficial compliments like, “Omg, you look so tan.” If you attempt to talk to her about something intelligent, she’ll respond, “Oh, that’s deep,” because apparently, it’s far too intellectual for her.
To Be A Better Person
For her college graduation gift, I bought her a book I found called How To Hold A Conversation. Reddit User: [redacted]
My husband’s stepmom bought me a sweater made of Angora and it was an extra small. First, I’m a medium, and second, I was a vet tech at the time and she gave me a sweater made of animal fur. Oh yeah, and I’m allergic to rabbit fur. She was aware of all of this. She also bought me a butter bell knowing I don’t eat butter because I’m lactose intolerant.
Body Hair
In return, I gave her a self-help book on how to be a better person. Reddit User: [redacted]
My divorced parents, independently, with no contact with each other, gave me a No-No (a hair removal device) and an offer for laser hair removal… without ever talking to me about my body hair before… in front of everybody.
Gifted Knives
I’ve been made fun of for my dark body hair all my life or dealt with people pointing out that I’ve ‘missed a spot’, so it especially was embarrassing when I never asked for either of those things. Reddit user: milkdudfanatic
My mom’s stepmother bought my mom a cheap carving knife one year. My mom had to sit there with her knife while her half-sisters unwrapped new phones and expensive jewelry. Some superstitions say gifting someone knives will “sever the relationship” between the giver and recipient. My mother tells the story of her mother-in-law demanding a penny from her on her wedding day so she could give her the knife set my parents wanted in good conscience.
Better In Black
I’d definitely say my aunt was being aggressive. And passive. Both of the above, really. Reddit User: [redacted]
My “free-spirited” aunt (we all have one of those, right?) decided to give me a voucher to go to a color consultant for my 17th birthday, so that person could tell me which color suits my aura and which color of clothing I should wear. She didn’t really understand why I wore black all the time.
Needless to say, I never used it. Maybe my family should just accept that instead of wasting their money on a gift they surely knew I’d never use. Reddit User: [redacted]
What He Saw In Me
On one Valentine’s Day, my then-boyfriend once gave me a ticket to the Saw II movie in a nearby cinema. He said, “It reminded me of you.” I really wanted to be thankful but…
I don’t even like horror movies… and why did it… remind him… of me? Reddit User: [redacted]
Thinking Of You
I was in a fight with my cousin. Every year at Christmas, we do a Secret Santa swap, and it just so happened that I was my cousin’s Secret Santa that year. I proceeded to buy her a $15 gift card to a restaurant she doesn’t like and put in a “thinking of you, get better” greeting card with the saying crossed out and “Merry Christmas” scribbled inside.
I then put the card in a brown paper bag I got from a purchase at the liquor store. She was so baffled. Reddit User: [redacted]
Wash Up Sometimes
In my early 20s, my skin started to break out. I was severely depressed because of this and the fact that my skin started out really great before it turned into this angry red mess made me feel worse about myself. I tried every solution you can search for on the internet, from home remedies to expensive skincare and regimens. It wasn’t like I wasn’t hygienic either.
One Christmas, my mother gave me a bar of soap to “wash up” my face sometimes. Not even a cleanser, but a bar of soap. Reddit User: [redacted]
Old Spice Deodorant
We had a guy at work that could clear a room if he raised his arms. Me and a couple of others chipped in and I bought a stick of Old Spice deodorant and plopped it on the breakroom table in front of him. I looked him in the eye and walked off.
He didn’t use it. I think we may have been too subtle. Reddit User: MagicalKartWizard
Cellulite Cream
A few years ago, I saw a nutritionist and got a diet that made me lose a lot of weight. Usually for birthdays, my friends and I would ask the person who’s celebrating what they would want but could never justify the purchase themselves (think mp3 players, fancy headphones, that one pair of shoes, etc.), and we’d all chip in and buy that.
At my party, everybody gathered, and this girl was like, “Okay, present time!” And she got me three different kinds of anti-cellulite cream. Reddit User: [redacted]
Moving Out
Towels. While the gift itself doesn’t sound bad the reasoning behind it was incredibly insulting. I was 17 years old at the time and a senior in high school. It was a Christmas gift from my stepmother. She gave me a set of towels and told me I would need them when I moved out at 18. The kicker was she gave her son (my stepbrother) a brand-new computer for Christmas.
This was in 1992 when personal computers started at around $4,000. I was pretty salty about it. Reddit user: TXEsrever
Left the “Real” Price Tag
This relative of mine is from a wealthier family than mine and likes to show off a lot. We don’t really get gifts for other people very often unless it’s a special occasion, and she likes to sort of put people down for their lack of money. She got me a bunch of things the last time she went abroad, which was generous of her and I appreciate that, but she ripped the sale price off the tag, which was very evident.
Then she left the “real” price of the stuff right there as if we’d be impressed with how expensive it was. Reddit User: [redacted]
Self-Help Books
Self-help books are the most passive-aggressive gifts I’ve ever given. I had a roommate years ago who was a gigantic slob and a little off socially. I don’t remember the title of the book, but it was something like A Young Man’s Guide To Cleaning. The following year, we got one about hygiene. It was funny but admittedly a jerk move. We roomed together for years even after that.
He was an alright guy other than that, but the books definitely helped ease some roommate annoyance issues. Reddit User: [redacted]
Headphones
My co-worker was playing Christmas music on his PC speakers, which was really annoying to me. All I could hear during the day was “Jingle Bell Rock” and “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” It was really hard to focus, and I would pass by and he would even be dancing to it. One day, I went and bought a pair of headphones and put them on his desk, with a note that just had the boss’ initials on it.
It worked, and no one ever said anything about it. Finally, some peace and quiet in that place. Reddit User: [redacted]
Annoying Kid Gifts
When I was a kid, there was always a war going on every Christmas between my dad and his brothers. He was the first to have kids, and each year, a box would arrive for us containing an unreasonably noisy or messy gift, like toy megaphones or a marble set that they knew would undoubtedly get everywhere.
Eventually, we grew up, and my uncles had kids of their own. It was so satisfying to go to the store as a teenager and pick out revenge gifts like a splatter paint set. Reddit User: [redacted]
Alarm Clock
My ex-girlfriend got me an alarm clock. She said I was always late for work. We didn’t live together, or even in the same area code. I only saw her on days I didn’t work. I wasn’t always late to work. I had a working alarm clock. She gave me that “If you don’t like it, I can take it back for something you do like” line that you are not supposed to take people up on. In the spirit of how things were going, I DID take her up on it.
She was pretty pissed. I maybe had her get me some records? I don’t know. That doesn’t stand out nearly as much as the gift did. Reddit User: explodedsun
No One Knows I’m Lesbian
My parents gave me a bumper sticker in my Christmas stocking that had a picture of one of those ’50s pinup girls on it with her finger to her lips with the heading, “Shhh, no one knows I’m a lesbian.” They both were watching me when I opened it before looking at each other and started laughing. I’m not gay, and I’ve only ever brought home boyfriends. On top of that, my SO was there that Christmas morning.
What a couple of weirdos my parents are. Love them dearly though. But still, I think they didn’t like my boyfriend. Reddit User: [redacted]
All Hideous Floral Prints
My grandmother hated my mother and often would say she was the reason my brother and I didn’t live up to her expectations. I never understood what she meant by this. From high school and into college, I was 5’7″ and always fluctuated right around 120 lbs. I never had issues with weight and would wear a size medium in shirts.
My grandmother would give me clothes every year in size XL. Every. Single. Time. All hideous with floral prints, because they made her “think of me.” Reddit User: [redacted]
Q-Tips Or Earphones
My niece isn’t deaf nor does she have any problems with her ears (her mom already had her checked out), but she might as well. I guess you could say she’s pretty slow and a one-job type of person. I don’t really mind repeating myself twice, but any more than that starts to get really annoying.
So for Christmas, instead of buying her earphones like she wanted, I gave her Q-tips topped with a pretty bow. Reddit User: [redacted]
That Guy Is A Jerk
I had a coworker who was in the Air Force; his name was Ron and he had severe control issues that drive other people he work with nuts. The day was moving, I gave him as a going away gift my “Support our troops… except for Ron, that guy’s a jerk” shirt that I always wore around him.
I had it framed, and even though leadership disapproved, more people signed it than his official going away present for him. Reddit User: [redacted]
A Lady’s Table Is Her Greatest Masterpiece
The problem with some of the most passive-aggressive gifts is that even if you want to say something, you can’t. My mother-in-law came over last Thanksgiving and made a big deal about how my serving dishes didn’t match. For Christmas, I got an entire serving set from her with a note plastered on top.
“A lady’s table is her greatest masterpiece for her husband, so don’t sit him down to a Kindergarten drawing.” Reddit User: [redacted]
Cleaning Supplies
When my best friend and I moved in together, we got a housewarming present of cleaning supplies from a friend who figured we wouldn’t have thought of buying them and whose mother passed on the message that her daughter didn’t want us to go to her to get our laundry done. We’d both been living away from our own families for years and were able to wash our clothes and clean our house.
I’m still offended but thankfully no longer friends with that girl. Good riddance, if I don’t say so myself. Reddit User: [redacted]
Dog Toys
This wasn’t gifted to me but to my younger sister. My parents had her late in life when I was 10 and my brother was 16. For some reason, no one in my father’s family liked her much. For her first Christmas, my grandmother gave her squeaky dog toys: a frog and a hamburger. There were no oops there either; they were still in the cellophane wrapper with the cardboard tag on them saying that they were squeaky dog toys.
My mom refused to acknowledge that they were dog toys, gave them to her anyway, and just played along. Reddit User: [redacted]
Stretch Pants
My family was doing this weight loss bet thing. We all chipped in $20, and whoever lost the most weight got all the 20s. My cousin had lost the most legitimate weight, but my grandma insisted she lost the most weight. This turned into a huge thing between her and my mom, and eventually, my mom just gave her the money.
About two months later for my mom’s birthday, my grandma sent my mom some of her old flowery shirts and a pair of stretch pants since they no longer fit her. Reddit User: [redacted]
Poo-Pourri
I was once given a Poo Pourri gift set (a whole arse-nal of sprays and creams, came in a toilet-shaped box!) by someone at work as part of a Secret Santa exchange. It was a bit embarrassing since I had only worked there for about 6 months at the time so I was still a little unsure about how people were perceiving me.
In my mind, the gift was either someone’s way of jokingly telling me, “You think your shit don’t stink,” or someone’s serious way of telling me that my shit really, really stinks. Anyways, no one I talked to at the party admitted to being my Secret Santa. I don’t use the products they gave me, in protest. But I have become a bit more anal about my… well, you get it… Reddit User: ironarchist
Marking Her Territory
Not sure what the heck he was thinking but, for my birthday a month after I broke up with him, my ex gave me a Swarovski necklace. I thought about keeping it just to spite him, but then I found out he’d been cheating on me the entire time we were together. So, one night, I went to a party at his house.
I saw the girl’s thong that she probably left out to “mark her territory” or something weird like that and left the necklace on top of it. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Rice Cooker
My boyfriend’s mother would gift me a rice cooker for every Christmas visit. I thought it was weird at first but shrugged it off. For the next few years, she continued to gift me a rice cooker. I never really talked to her about it nor admitted that I don’t even eat or cook rice because I was trying to get on her good side, but one day, I decided that I had to know, so I finally asked my boyfriend.
As it turns out, his mother thought I was Asian all this time. I’m as white as they are. Genetics are weird, I know. I don’t even know if I should feel amazed or offended. Reddit User: [redacted]
Hand-Me-Downs
My family was living overseas and this was the first time in our lives to spend the holidays away from relatives. My aunt sent us this big box in December. Naturally, we all assumed Christmas gifts. We opened the box and it was… old clothes. Like really old clothes. Many of which wouldn’t fit, were not washed, and some were items like socks and underwear.
My aunt thought we wouldn’t mind the hand-me-down from her own kids. They weren’t even packed properly, it was just thrown in a box haphazardly. Reddit user: your-yogurt
The Procrastinator
My mother once gave me a self-help book called Procrastination: Why You Do It, and What to Do About It Now.
Well, obviously, I’m not going to do anything about it now, MUM. I’ll do something about it later. Reddit User: [redacted]
Donation To A Poor Family
My stepmom has been married to my dad for about a decade now. About a month ago, she decided to stop talking to me and my mom who she’s always been friendly with (my mom took her to the gynecologist once at her request, for goodness sake), but I had to go over there for Christmas. She’s very materialistic and wants everything designer. I thought about getting her a donation in her name to a poor family.
You can’t even really complain about getting that as a gift without looking stupidly greedy. Reddit User: [redacted]
Antique
Not me but a coworker. She told me about how her brother told her that he got her this wine bottle opener from eBay for 2 bucks that he was going to give to her as a Christmas gift. He then mentioned to her that he found out that the thing is an antique and was actually worth something, so he told her that he was keeping it. Christmas rolled around, and she unwrapped the gift from her brother.
All she got was a box of microwave popcorn and a $5 gift card for use at Blockbuster Video, which had already closed in their town. Reddit User: [redacted]
You Need These More Than I Do
My sister calls me on my birthday; not for wishes, but to tell me the drama in her life. I don’t do drama, don’t go looking for it, and it doesn’t look for me. And I’m trying to enjoy my birthday (as much as I can since I’m 7 months pregnant), so I don’t talk long. The next morning, I get a box on my porch with a bow on top full of self-help books.
Used books. And the entire thing came with a note that said, “You need these more than I do.” Reddit User: [redacted]
Nose-Hair Trimmer
My brother-in-law has a habit of being rather cheap. The year I turned 50, he gave me a nose-hair trimmer. His daughter (my niece) confided to me it was some giveaway he got from AARP. Mind you, a nose-hair trimmer is not a horrible gift (I did use it, after all), it’s just that in a room with relatives who are getting nice jewelry, box tickets to a basketball game, and other more expensive and thoughtful presents…
I got a freebie nose-hair trimmer; like, free for him as well as me. Welcome to old age, I guess! Reddit User: [redacted]
Wine Re-Gift
I received a bottle of wine from my ex-husband and his girlfriend. I know, we still send gifts back and forth. I don’t know why, it’s just always been this way. The wine was in a pretty little gift bag. It also had a pretty little card attached to it, and the pretty little gift card was addressed to my ex-husband and his girlfriend. RE-GIFT! He then said, “Oops, that card must have just fallen in there!” Yep.
I don’t mind a re-gift, but at least clean it up before giving it to someone other than its original recipient. Reddit User: [redacted]
Road Kill
My mom got me a crystal snail figurine for my 13th birthday because “You’re so slow getting ready in the morning!” That’s all I got that year, but even better than that, my ex-FIL used to tie flies for fly fishing. He’d sometimes pick up road kill to get fur from after putting it in desiccant.
My ex-MIL almost gave me half a desiccated road kill possum as a “joke” engagement gift. Fortunately, my ex talked her out of it. Reddit User: [redacted]
Cat Books
I got a book about cats, the kind of book with glossy pages and lots of pictures, etc. Only, this one looked like it was 20 years old, and inside there were only about 10 pages left (if you count two halves as one in some cases). Later, my aunt wasn’t too happy to find a picture on Facebook celebrating my mom’s birthday with her brother and his new girlfriend. My mom got a stained Christmas tablecloth.
We also were offered a Christmas cake that was moldy and on a dusty plate and a centerpiece full of spiderwebs. Reddit User: [redacted]
Iron-On Sweatshirts
My stepmom has been a famously bad gifter for as long as I can remember. My siblings and I always get a similar piece of kitsch that has a bit of our personality placed into it. One year, she decided to make iron-on sweatshirts; you know, the inkjet ones you print and then iron onto a shirt. Mine wasn’t so bad, but a sibling got one that said, “I’m not bossy, I just like it when everyone does things my way.”
She also wanted to get a family picture with all of us wearing our new sweatshirts. So awkward. Reddit User: [redacted]
The Shirt
Forever ago, my mom bought me this shirt. I can’t remember exactly what it said, but it was something along the lines of: “I get upset for no reason just to hurt people.” I actually have an anxiety disorder that she refused to let me see a doctor about for a long time because I was “faking it for attention.” Oh, did I mention she’s a nurse?
So, needless to say, I never wore it and that made her even angrier as if I was trying to get a rise out of her. Reddit User: [redacted]
Graduation Present
My best friend was supposed to attend my graduation party but never showed up. I moved to a different state the next day. And so, she decided to text my boyfriend and ask him what my new address was because she needed to send me my graduation “present.” A couple of weeks later, I received a thick envelope from her filled with about 35 pictures of us and some of our other friends, and a handwritten friendship breakup letter.
I still don’t know why she was upset with me. I wouldn’t really write a note saying I wasn’t friends with someone anymore either. Reddit User: [redacted]
Pretentious Stepmom
My stepmom can be a bit pretentious. She and my dad have money, and they like to flaunt it. I’ve always been one to wear just graphic t-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops, and it used to drive her insane. She’s the type that only shops at “upscale” places like Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s, etc. One year, she was in charge of our Christmas shopping. Well, she decided to get me a bunch of upscale clothing. That was it, and it was the kind of stuff I’d never wear.
In fact, I’m not even sure if I ever actually did wear any of them. I think it all just ended up in the closet. Reddit User: [redacted]
Patch the Hole in the Wall
My parents once got me this gift for Christmas that was a tool bag with everything in it, and it was so we could patch that hole in our apartment my husband accidentally caused. I didn’t feel it was a real gift. The dent in the wall stayed there until we moved out and my husband finally patched it.
We just had it covered with my favorite movie poster so we couldn’t see it, nor could the landlord. Reddit User: [redacted]
Rock Energy
One year ago, my sister gives me a rock for Christmas, and she goes on this ten-minute speech about how she slept with the dumb rock to give it her energy and “help guide me.” Then she tells me I’m supposed to sleep with the rock too, so we can become “closer.” About a month later, my sister decides she wants to hike the Appalachian Trail.
I found her a 15 lb slab of granite from my backyard and told her I wanted her to carry it in her pack for her trip because it had good energy in it. Reddit User: [redacted]
Toy Helicopter
The perfect passive-aggressive gift for a small kid is a cheap RC helicopter. This is the perfect gift if the person you want to get back at is the kid’s parents. It chews up batteries like nothing else (if you get a really cheap kind). The more expensive ones have boring rechargeable batteries. They annoy the parents, because that thing is going to be flying into walls all around the house and beyond.
It’ll make the kid happy, so you don’t punish the kid for having a jerk for a parent either. Win-win. Reddit User: [redacted]
Shoe-Shining Kit
I’m not 100% sure this was a passive-aggressive gift, but I was definitely offended. My grandfather gifted me a shoe-shining kit with several cans of shoe polish, cloths, brushes, etc. inside. He has always focused on the shoes my brother and I wore and expected them to be well-polished.
I guess this habit was just something he brought home with him from his service in the military. Reddit User: [redacted]
Going To Hell
I had a friend who was five months pregnant and was not married, her aunt gave her a book that was basically about how she was going to hell. Keep in mind to my friend had a serious boyfriend of seven years.
They just didn’t want to get married, people do that now they call each other life partners. Reddit User: your_mom_ohhgotcha
Tacky Decor
Don’t get bad gift cards, because it will reflect poorly on you in front of your family. Instead, get a tacky large painting or vase, and then when you see them next, ask to see where they displayed it. With tacky home decor, you can talk about how you thought of them when you saw them and how good the quality is.
That way, you come across as being thoughtful, and they can’t really complain to the rest of the family about how bad it is without seeming ungrateful. Reddit User: [redacted]
In Ye Olde King Days
In ye olde king days, a king would give a white elephant to people who displeased him. The gist is that white elephants were considered holy, and if you didn’t spend a fortune on them, you were considered an outcast. Can’t give it away or refuse or you’ll disrespect the king and get your head lopped off. Can’t sell it or kill it; you’ll be a social outcast and die of starvation.
Basically, it’s a gift that says, “Have this crippling financial ruin! Better accept it or die! Good luck with poverty!” Reddit User: [redacted]