Is This Normal?
Shaniece Sturdy, age 21, made the decision to become a surrogate. But she didn’t anticipate this.
From the monitor, Shaniece turned to face her protruding belly. She sensed something was wrong because she had become so enormous during the second trimester. She was constantly peckish, her back hurt all the time, and she never felt good.
Love Is In The Air
The nurse applied lubricant to her skin while pressing a device to her stomach. “These symptoms are absolutely normal for a first pregnancy,” she stated.
She turned to face the monitor, anxiously awaiting the news. “Does everything look okay?” she asked, her voice shaking. The nurse had no time to answer, she needed to call a doctor immediately.
Personal Freedom
Shaniece wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Her parents had been together for decades, and her sister married her high school sweetheart as soon as she could. She wanted to follow in their footsteps.
But she had no idea that their marriage would be filled with so much suffering so soon.
Missing Her
Linda moved out of their family home to move in with her partner when Shaniece was only fourteen years old.
She believed that having more personal space would make her life simpler.
A Spontaneous Trip
However, the house felt cold and lonely. She even missed their silly arguments. They still saw each other over the weekends, but it was evident that they were growing apart.
She didn’t want this to happen, so she hopped on the first bus to visit her older sister. But she didn’t anticipate finding her in this condition.
Personal Problems
Shaniece grabbed her bags and climbed out of the bus. As she walked towards her sister’s house, she noticed her sister’s husband’s red truck speeding toward her. She gave him a smile and a wave, but he did not even acknowledge her.
He was a friendly man, but she had never seen such a terrifying look on his face. Chills ran down her spine. What was going on?
An Emotional Wreck
Josh did not even realize she was there. Perhaps he had a difficult time with work.
She decided to let his strange behavior go and proceeded to her sister’s house. She eventually arrived, but when she saw her sister, her heart dropped to her stomach.
Marital Problems
Linda’s cheeks were swollen, and her eyes were red. It was evident that she had been crying. She grabbed her sister’s hand and asked, “Did he hurt you?”
Before Linda could answer, she rushed to the kitchen to clean up her sister’s face. Her sister looked at her and whispered, “No, don’t be silly. I asked him to leave.”
Opening Up
Shaniece took a step back so that she could have a look at her sister. She knew her sister exceptionally well and could easily tell whether she was lying or not. However, she was being truthful.
Perhaps it was a mistake to marry at such a young age. “Why did you ask him to leave, Linda?” she asked. However, she was unprepared for this response.
Support
“You know we’ve been trying for a year now, Shaniece,” her sister shared, her voice shaking. “He wants to take out another loan for IVF, but we can’t afford it. We couldn’t afford the first treatment.”
She could see her sister felt hopeless. Linda wiped her face clean and sighed deeply. “We can’t keep doing this.”
Struggles
Shaniece’s heart ached. She had never seen her sister so upset before. And she knew she would never be happy if she didn’t have a child. So, she put on the kettle, grabbed a blanket, and stayed with her for the weekend. And during that time, she convinced her to try again.
But she never expected her encouragement to have such an impact.
Depression
It took nearly two years of treatment, but Linda eventually got pregnant. She wanted to keep it a secret until she reached her second trimester but unfortunately, she never made it.
After her miscarriage, she didn’t want to try again. But then, she changed her mind.
Josh’s Plan
She became reclusive. And despite Shaniece’s best attempts, Linda didn’t leave the house for a month.
But her husband had one last idea to give her what she had always dreamed of.
A Sacrifice
Josh’s idea was an unorthodox one, but it was Linda’s last chance at happiness.
The blow of the miscarriage was still fresh in her mind, and she wasn’t sure of anything anymore. But Josh’s idea gave her hope.
The Big Question
Linda and Josh were about to try to convince Josh’s sister to make an enormous sacrifice. But would she agree? Only time will tell.
So Josh invited her around to ask the big question.
Hope
They sat across the table from Josh’s sister… fidgeting nervously. Would she agree?
All of Linda’s hopes hung on the words Josh’s sister said next.
An Answer
But Linda would understand if she declined — after all, it was a huge thing to ask someone to do.
Then, she looked up and said the three words they had never expected.
Inspired
“I’ll do it.” As soon as the words left Josh’s sister’s mouth, Linda felt fear and excitement wash over her.
Finally, she could dream of having a child of her own… she couldn’t thank Josh’s sister enough.
Dreams
Josh had suggested that his own sister act as a surrogate for their child. She would provide the host womb for their baby.
But Shaniece could never have expected to be so inspired by the young woman’s act of kindness.
Convincing
Had the woman thought this through? It wouldn’t be easy — but she had agreed.
Little did Shaniece know that Josh’s sister would inspire her in the years to come.
Options
Josh’s sister offered to carry their child. Understandably, Linda was hesitant.
She didn’t want to get her hopes up again, but what was the harm in trying one last time?
Miracle
If it didn’t work, they could look into fostering—there were plenty of children in need of a good home. Shaniece prayed every night for the pregnancy to take.
Then, a miracle happened.
A Promise
When Josh’s sister gave birth, Shaniece cried for hours. She had never been so happy. If anyone deserved to be a mother, it was Linda.
Then she made a promise to herself.
Thoughtful
Shaniece swore then that someday, she, too, would make someone’s dream come true.
But when that day finally came, she never expected her experience to be so unique.
Something Off
Shaniece had just turned 21 when she met Joanna and Steve. And when she informed her family of her decision to give birth to another couple’s baby, they were filled with pride.
She flew to Los Angeles to undergo the procedure and then returned home. But things didn’t go as she had hoped.
Waiting Game
“I was only 21 at the time, but I wasn’t interested in partying and drinking. I wanted to help another couple fulfill their family dream.”
Joanna and Steve were over the moon. However, after the first trimester, she knew something was off. And she was right.
Growing
The only other surrogate Shaniece had met Josh’s sister, who worked through sickness, nausea, and sleep deprivation until she was nearly 8 months pregnant.
Shaniece was lucky. But still, she couldn’t help but worry.
Check-Up
Pregnancy didn’t have any impact on her daily life. However, when she noticed that her stomach continued to bulge throughout her second trimester, she worried.
Babies grow tremendously during the final months of pregnancy. She picked up her phone and called her doctor.
News
Shaniece had just finished her second trimester when she visited the doctor for her 10-week scan. She twiddled her thumbs above her bump as she lay on the table.
When the doctor returned with the paperwork, he was silent.
Scan
Was something wrong? Was the baby okay? She would never forgive herself if she let Joanna and Steve down.
Then, the doctor looked up from his notes and said three words that sent a chill down her spine.
Huge
“You’re having triplets,” Dr. Ryan shared with a smile on his face. Shaniece’s temperature increased.
Joanna and Steve wanted one baby, not three. Would they be happy? Would they be mad?
Birth
Thankfully, the couple was overjoyed. As weeks passed, Shaniece’s stomach swelled to a ginormous size.
Her body ached, but she knew she was doing the right thing. But she didn’t anticipate this.
Easy
Shaniece eventually gave birth to three healthy babies—two girls and one boy—Willow, Daisy, and Harrison.
“Even though I was only 21 and it was a huge responsibility carrying their babies, it was one of the best experiences of my life,” she happily proclaimed.
Thoughtless
“I had no morning sickness or cravings, the whole pregnancy flew by and with the support of Joanna and Steve, it was amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone,” she later shared.
But she didn’t say goodbye forever.
Information
After two weeks of intensive care, Willow, Daisy, and Harrison were strong enough to go home for the first time with their parents.
Shaniece now visits them every birthday. And for those who have questioned her motives, she’d shed some light on her decision.
A Toll On Her Body
“I think a lot of people presume you have to use your own eggs when you’re a surrogate, but that’s not the case at all. ”
“I had Joanna and Steve’s embryo inserted in Los Angeles, so it’s biologically their child, not mine; I was just the host womb.”
Damage
But carrying someone else’s babies can also have more than psychological implications, and carrying triplets can have a negative impact on a woman’s body, especially on a mother so young.
And Shaniece started to experience them.
Some Advice
“I’m in a relationship now and would like to have more children. I’ve had a miscarriage, so I do wonder if carrying the triplets has had an effect on my body,” she said later in an interview.
But she also shared some other advice.
No Remuneration
“My advice for anyone thinking about surrogacy is to make sure you’ve done your research and that you have support around you,” Shaniece shared.
But there are other considerations, too.
Contesting UK Laws
“You don’t get paid to be a surrogate – you only get expenses for your travel and so on…”
“So if you’re looking to make money, this isn’t for you,” Shaniece added.
Questions
Shaniece’s experience of being a surrogate mother has inspired her to try to change current laws regarding surrogacy in the UK.
She feels like parents should have more control.
Change Is Needed
She says: “Throughout the pregnancy, I had all the questions about the babies directed at me, for example, birth plans, vaccinations, scan dates.”
“I would just turn to Joanna and Steve and say, ‘what do you want to do?'”
“…it was my body, but they weren’t my babies. If the law could change so the parents could make the decisions, it would make things easier on both parts,” she added.
Many surrogate mothers feel the same way, too.