47. Katya
During the course of nine seasons of Seinfeld, it’s safe to say that Jerry Seinfeld got around. Many of the women he was involved with were only around for an episode or two, while others managed to last a bit longer.
Ever the picky dater, Jerry’s romantic mishaps gave rise to some classic one-liners. From Elaine Benes to all the rest, the following is a list of every fabulous woman that Jerry dated, ranked from last to first…
46. Sandra
Actress: Elina Löwensohn
Jerry was excited to have a Romanian gymnast girlfriend since he thought she would be intriguing and exotic. Katya was excited because, in Romania, there is a legend of the “Comedian” being an extraordinary lover.
In the end, they were both seriously let down by the other’s performance! In true Seinfeld fashion, comedy takes precedence over romance, and this potential relationship quickly ended in flames.
45. Audrey
Actress: Lisa Malkiewicz
At one point Jerry started dating Elaine’s assistant, a seemingly sweet woman by the name of Sandra. However, he was shocked to learn about some of her adventurous intimate preferences.
While Jerry typically relied on his wit and humor to help him out in relationships, he tried to appeal to Sandra’s risqué side. Needless to say, it backfired and Sandra, offended, promptly broke up with Jerry.
44. Naomi
Actress: Suzanne Snyder
Episode: The Pie
Jerry is bewildered when his girlfriend, Audrey, refuses to eat some of Jerry’s pie and offers no explanation why. Later, they visit her father’s restaurant, where Jerry witnesses Audrey’s father not wash his hands in the bathroom.
Afterward, he refuses a slice of pizza from the restaurant in the exact same way Audrey refused his pie. Unfortunately, Jerry never finds out why Audrey actually refused the piece of pie, much to his dismay.
43. Karen
Actress: Jessica Lundy
Jerry and Naomi meet at a restaurant where Naomi is a hostess. Later, Naomi hears George making fun of her on Jerry’s answering machine, saying that her laugh sounded like Elmer Fudd “sitting on a juicer.”
Suffice to say, George didn’t exactly win the wingman of the year award during that particular episode. Offended, Naomi was quick to kick Jerry to the curb and move on to bigger and better romantic prospects.
42. Pam
Actress: Marguerite MacIntyre
Jerry wanted to go on a date with Miss Rhode Island, Karen, while she was in town for a pageant – however, she wasn’t allowed out without a chaperone. Jerry quickly appointed Kramer as a chaperone since he thought he’d leave them alone.
Kramer took his duties very seriously, and ultimately became Karen’s pageant coach. Jerry and George stayed at the hotel overnight and woken by noisy birds, which George kills by accident – unaware they played a vital role in the act.
41. Lena
Actress: Kim Myers
After Jerry begins dating Pam, the bookstore manager, Kramer ends up falling for her. They learn that she does not want kids, so Jerry and Kramer both find themselves at the doctor’s office for a vasectomy.
However, their romantic feelings quickly dissipate once they see the harsh reality of the procedure. After seeing a patient in pain after the operation, Jerry quickly abandons his vasectomy intentions.
40. Margaret
Actress: Jennifer Guthrie
Episode: The Sponge
Jerry meets Lena while signing up for an AIDS walk, where he pulls her number from the list. After an apparent contraceptive sponge shortage, and women all over New York must determine whether their significant others were “sponge-worthy.”
Jerry then finds an enormous stash of sponges in Lena’s closet. The sponges become a moot point, however, when Jerry reveals he’s lied to her about something trivial, and she promptly dumps him for the transgression.
39. Gina
Actress: Marita Geraghty
Jerry finds out that his new girlfriend, Margaret, not only used to date his neighbor Newman but was actually dumped by him. When pressing Margaret about why Newman dumped her, she simply offered vague answers.
Curiosity got the better of Jerry, who then turned to Newman for answers – he simply responded, “She wasn’t my type.” Jerry could not get over this baffling fact, leading to the demise of the relationship.
38. Amy
Actress: Gina Gallego
In one episode Jerry’s neighbor, Martin, had a freak accident and ended up in a coma. While visiting the hospital, Martin’s alluring wife Gina shockingly starts to flirt with an unsuspecting Jerry.
Newman sees Jerry and Gina out on what looks to be a date and threatens to tell Martin everything when he wakes up. Jerry tries to buy Newman off, but it does not work. Newman eventually tells Martin everything, and it does not end well!
37. Alex
Actress: Anna Gunn
George, sans glasses, George thinks he spots Jerry’s girlfriend, Amy, kissing Jerry’s cousin, Jeffrey. Jerry initially tries to make Amy confess, but when he realizes how poor George’s eyesight is, he begins second-guessing what George saw.
Later, Jerry’s uncle gives him tickets to a Paul Simon concert, along with Jeffrey’s apologies. Jerry thinks this is the confession he’s been seeking but Jeffrey is simply apologizing for not getting the specific seats he promised.
36. Cheryl
Actress: Melinda Clarke
When he finds out that his girlfriend, Alex, likes hairless dogs (and a lack of hair, in general), Jerry shaves off all his chest hair. Later in the episode, Jerry and Alex go on a bus tour led by Kramer.
Long story short, the tour takes a lot longer than expected the group had initially expected. Eventually, much like a werewolf, Jerry runs off of the bus scratching at his stubbled, itchy chest.
35. Gillian
Actress: Maggie Han
George wants Jerry to be a wingman on a date between Cheryl and him. However, George insists that Jerry cannot be too funny on the outing, since he wants to be seen by Cheryl as “the funny one.”
Jerry, therefore, puts on an act as a very subdued, reserved man, whom Cheryl ends up falling for. She admits to George that she’s interested in Jerry, but when George reveals it was all a ruse, she breaks up with him.
34. Claire
Actress: Kristin Bauer van Straten
Jerry notices that his gorgeous girlfriend, Gillian, has hands that are extraordinarily large and manly. Although for many this wouldn’t be much of an issue, Jerry just can’t seem to get past this fact.
After an episode filled with exaggerated shots of Gillian’s giant hands (opening a beer with only her hands, cracking open a lobster, etc.), Jerry breaks it off. You can thank this episode for the term “man-hands.”
33. Valerie
Actress: Sarah Peterson
Jerry is absolutely convinced Claire’s stomach makes loud sounds during the night. He goes so far as to privately joke with George about giving Claire’s stomach a character and a voice (“Hello! Lalala…”).
When the joke spreads to Elaine and Kramer, Claire gets offended and tells Jerry they can only stay together if Jerry stops making fun of her stomach’s “voice.” Jerry, unwilling to let go of the joke, chooses the voice.
32. Lois
Actress: Lauren Graham
Valerie ranks the important people in her life by where they are placed on her speed dial. As a result, Jerry and Valerie’s stepmother start feuding about their relative positions on Valerie’s speed dial.
The stepmother eventually puts Jerry’s number in Valerie’s “emergency” speed dial to confuse her, but when mom is poisoned and Valerie tries to call for help, the joke’s on her. When Jerry mentions this coveted speed dial “status,” Valerie dumps him.
31. Nina
Actress: Renee Props
With Jerry’s love for all things Superman, he is understandably thrilled to be dating a woman named Lois. Lois works for Jerry’s high school rival, a man who Jerry claims to have beaten in a highly contested race back in high school.
Lois arranges for a rematch, and right when they’re about to start running, Kramer’s car backfires and Jerry gets another head start. When he wins, he claims, “I’m faster than a speeding bullet, Lois.”
30. Marlene
Actress: Justine Miceli
Jerry claims he and Nina never dated because they never had an awkward pause long enough for Jerry to make a move. Eventually, George asks Jerry to set them up – but when he tries to arrange this, they experience the moment they’d been lacking.
When she is forced to choose between Jerry and George, Nina lets them both know that she’s not actually interested in either of them. All along, she had really just wanted to take a free trip to India.
29. Nina
Actress: Tracy Kolis
Marlene and George are dating, but George tires of her habit of dragging out conversations much longer than necessary. After they break up, George wants the books he left in Marlene’s apartment back.
Jerry decides that the best way to get George’s books back is to take Marlene out on a date himself. The two start dating, which he later regrets, but ultimately Marlene breaks things off with Jerry because she doesn’t find him funny.
28. Winona
Actress: Catherine Keener
Jerry’s girlfriend, Nina, is an artist and uses Kramer as one of her models. After being offered Nina’s father’s tickets to the owner’s box at Yankees Stadium, George coughs up $500 for a painting at one of Nina’s shows.
George then brings Kramer and Elaine along with him to watch the ball game. Unfortunately, Elaine, who shows up wearing an Orioles hat, is kicked out of the stadium by some unhappy fans of the home team.
27. Donna Chang
Actress: Kimberly Guerrero
At one point Jerry starts dating Winona, a very beautiful Native American woman. However, Winona feels offended by Jerry’s perceived insensitivity when he gives Elaine an Indian cigar as a gift.
Afterward, Jerry then goes above and beyond trying to be “politically correct” around Winona. This goes so far as avoiding any words that could possibly be considered crass or impolite under any circumstance.
26. Lanette
Actress: Angela Dohrmann
Donna Chang always introduces herself with her last name, which was actually shortened from Changstein to Chang. Despite not being Chinese, Donna almost purposely demonstrates many Chinese stereotypes.
Donna Chang speaks to George’s mom on the phone, and citing Confucius, convinces Estelle to not get divorced. When Donna Chang and Estelle meet in person and Estelle realizes she’s not Chinese and moves forward with the divorce.
25. Cindy
Actress: Amanda Peet
When Jerry picks up Lanette for their first date, he finds out that she’s living with a mysterious other man. Suspicious and insecure, Jerry tries to figure out the nature of their relationship only for her to eventually drop him.
After Lanette officially breaks it off with this man, Jerry starts to get tired of her hustle and bustle lifestyle. He hires George as his “dating assistant”, who needless to say, fails spectacularly at the task.
24. Vanessa
Actress: Angela Featherstone
Episode: The Maid
Jerry begins dating his maid, Cindy – but not long after, he realizes that even though he’s still paying her, Cindy is not actually doing any cleaning. With the help of some jabs from Kramer, Jerry starts to feel like a “John.”When Jerry confronts Cindy, she quits.
Jerry then meets Cindy’s boss who threatens Jerry if he doesn’t get the money. While driving, Jerry passes Cindy on the street and tries to hand her the money, but the cops mistake the act.
23. Sheila
Actress: Lynn Clark
Jerry met Vanessa while out, but she was with another man and Jerry didn’t want to ask her out in front of Elaine. He did remember the name of her law firm, though, so Jerry and George wait for her in the elevator lobby.
They start dating, and Jerry plans a trip for them to go up to Vermont. While there, they have a terrible time because Jerry is worried the entire time about a particular stock and the horrible weather.
22. Jeannie Steinman
Actress: Alexandra Wentworth
Much to the chagrin of Elaine, Kramer, and George, Jerry and his girlfriend, Sheila, refer to each other as “Schmoopie.” During the episode, Jerry takes Sheila to the Soup Nazi, who calls them out for excessive PDA.
Offended by the outburst from the store owner, she asks Jerry to leave the restaurant with her. But, when forced to make a choice between Schmoopie and the delicious soup, Jerry hands down picks the soup.
21. Sgt. Cathy Tierny
Actress: Janeane Garofalo
Jeannie Steinman saves Jerry’s life, and when they get to talking, they realize that they’re exactly alike. They have the same initials, they both eat cereal (at restaurants), they both like superhero comics… the list goes on.
Jerry thinks he’s in love, realizing that all this time he had just been waiting to meet… himself. Jerry and Jeanie eventually get engaged, but Jerry breaks it off to get back together with Dolores (Mulva).
20. Marla Penny
Actress: Katherine LaNassa
Jerry’s girlfriend, Sgt. Cathy Tierney, mentions the show Melrose Place. Jerry says that he’s never seen the show. She doesn’t believe him and wants to use a lie detector test to determine whether he’s lying.
While prepping for the test, Jerry asks George for advice on how to beat a lie detector test. But, in the end, Jerry’s strong opinions on plot controversies reveal he’s actually a huge fan of Melrose Place.
19. Becky Gelke
Actress: Jane Leeves
When George’s mother caught him pleasuring himself, she fell over in shock and had to go to the hospital. George, Elaine, Jerry, and Kramer enter into a contest for who can go the longest without masturbating. Jerry is frustrated because his girlfriend, Marla, is a virgin.
Jerry is frustrated because his girlfriend, Marla, is a virgin. She eventually tells him she’s ready to take their relationship to the next level, though, so Jerry has to tell Marla about the contest. She runs out, offended.
18. Sue Ellen Mischke
Actress: Helen Slater
Episode: The Good Samaritan
After Jerry witnesses a hit and run, Elaine tells him he has to go after the driver – only for him to find a beautiful woman behind the wheel. Jerry then realizes that the car Angela hit was Becky Gelke’s car, whom Jerry has always wanted to date.
In an effort to impress Becky, Jerry approaches Angela about the damage, but she then threatens him. So, again trying to win Becky over, Jerry offers to write Becky a check to cover all of her car damage.
17. Sophie
Actress: Brenda Strong
Sue Ellen Mischke is a candy bar fortune heiress and Elaine’s nemesis. In an effort to encourage her to wear a bra, Elaine gifts Sue Ellen a bra, which Sue Ellen ends up wearing as a top, which causes to Kramer crash George’s car.
Kramer sues Sue Ellen, but when she comes by Jerry’s apartment to discuss the incident, Jerry falls for her. Sue Ellen claims that the bra doesn’t fit, but Kramer exclaims that she cannot try it on over her sweater.
16. Dolores
Actress: Lisa Ambuehl
Jerry’s girlfriend, Sophie, calls him but only says, “It’s me”. When Jerry calls back and uses the same line, Sophie also doesn’t recognize his voice and thinking she’s speaking with a friend, admits that she hasn’t yet told Jerry the “tractor story.”
For the rest of the episode, Jerry and George try and guess what the “tractor story” could be. Upon hearing this, Sophie tells Kramer the true “tractor story”: that she got gonorrhea from riding in a tractor in her bathing suit.
15. Laura (The Lip Reader)
Actress: Susan Walters
Jerry can’t remember his girlfriend’s name. Trying to find any hint possible, he asks her if she ever had any mean childhood nicknames. She admits that people made fun of her name because it rhymed with a part of the female anatomy.
With this information, Jerry and George start brainstorming possible names that could belong to Jerry’s new girlfriend. After lots of thought, the best they can come up with is Mulva – understandably, she’s offended and leaves.
14. Jane
Actress: Marlee Matlin
While at the US Open, Jerry lusts over one of the lineswomen, a deaf woman named Laura. George invites Laura to a party with him to see if she can read the lips of his ex-girlfriend and figure out the real reason why she dumped him.
When the group heads to the party, they get the same driver as Elaine had earlier… a driver she had offended by pretending to be deaf. When Laura she explains to him that she’s deaf, he doesn’t believe her and throws her out.
13. Beth Lukner
Actress: Jami Gertz
Elaine is stuck in a bathroom stall with no toilet paper, so she asks the woman next to her for some. To Elaine’s shock and disappointment, is told she “can’t spare a square.” It’s then revealed that the woman who refused Elaine is Jerry’s girlfriend Jane.
Later, Elaine complains to Jerry about the incident, and because Jane complained to him earlier about it, he puts two and two together. The rest of the episode is spent trying to prevent Jane and Elaine from hearing each other’s voices.
12. Bridgette
Actress: Debra Messing
Beth is initially married to a man named David. When they break up, Jerry wants to date her and they hang out as friends, but then Beth gets back together with David. She and David then break up again, and Beth dates a new man.
Finally, when the new couple breaks up, Beth and Jerry begin to date. Beth goes with Jerry to Mickey’s wedding, where she makes an off-hand, shocking racist and anti-Semitic comment – Jerry then dumps her.
11. Rachel Goldstein
Actress: Berta Waagfjord
Episode: The Diplomat’s Club
Jerry is excited to meet his girlfriend, Bridgette, at the airport lounge after coming home from a trip. However, a series of comedic events occurrences (including Jerry causing in-flight disturbances) prevent him from getting to the lounge.
So, Jerry calls Elaine’s boss to see if she would be able to meet Bridgette at the lounge instead. News coverage confuses the entire situation which leads to Elaine getting fired because his boss thinks she’s plotting to kill him.
10. Patty
Actress: Melanie Smith
Jerry’s girlfriend, Rachel, lives with her parents, so they do not have a lot of alone time to get to know one another. This is further exacerbated by Jerry’s parents coming to stay with him for a few days.
Jerry and Rachel go to the movies to see Schindler’s List, but since it’s their first time actually being alone, they can’t help but start kissing. Newman sees them and can’t believe his eyes, and he ends up telling Jerry’s parents.
9. Tia Van Camp
Actress: Lori Loughlin
Episode: The Serenity Now
Every time George’s dad feels his blood pressure rising, he’s told to say “serenity now” to try and calm down. For the most part, the strategy works well enough and keeps him from losing his cool throughout the episode.
However, Jerry’s girlfriend, Patty, truly tests this theory when she gives his Knicks tickets away. Thinking that she’s never seen Frank get “real mad”, she supposes that the ticket swap can’t cause too much harm.
8. Hallie
Actress: Jennifer Campbell
By a stroke of luck, Jerry is upgraded to first class on a flight and ends up being seated next to model Tia Van Camp. They begin dating, but Tia dumps Jerry after seeing him pick his nose at a stoplight.
Jerry staunchly claims he was only scratching his nose, as his finger never actually went inside his nostril. The controversy continues, but no matter what Jerry says he can’t seem to sway Tia’s interpretation.
7. Meryl
Actress: Samantha Smith
Episode: The Friars Club
Instead of the usual diner, Hallie and Jerry meet up on a double date with George and his girlfriend at the fancy Friar’s Club. This seemingly banal event marks the beginning of an episode of utter hilarity.
A series of comedic events follows, involving Jerry becoming obsessed with the Friar’s Club membership, and forgetting to return his borrowed jacket. Like most of the romance in Seinfeld, Hallie and Jerry’s relationship doesn’t last.
6. Melissa
Actress: Courteney Cox
Jerry and his girlfriend, Meryl, pretend they are married to get a family discount at the dry cleaner’s. They actually like being “husband and wife,” so they continue the act, even up to the point of bickering.
When Jerry “cheats” on Meryl by taking in another woman’s dry cleaning, Meryl can’t help but feel betrayed. After playing house and spending so much time together, the two go their separate ways.
5. Nikki
Actress: Kathleen McClellan
Jerry’s girlfriend, Melissa, nonchalantly (and almost platonically) walks around his apartment completely naked. Honestly, this would seem like an acceptable thing for any couple in a serious relationship.
So what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander, right? Unfortunately, that’s not the case here – when Jerry eventually decides to join in the fun, Melissa is quickly turned off, and the two break up.
4. Jenna
Actress: Dylan Tays
Episode: The Calzone
Jerry is convinced that Elaine’s new “boyfriend,” Todd, is conceiving of ways to take her out without actually asking her out. One of these ways is to try and sell Jerry cigars so that he can go out with Elaine again to deliver the goods.
Meanwhile, Jerry is dating a beautiful woman named Nikki who can seemingly get whatever she wants solely with her looks. Jerry tries to have Nikki get Todd to give him the cigars for free, but it backfires when Todd somehow finagles a dinner with Nikki.
3. Tawni
Actress: Kristin Davis
Jerry knocks Jenna’s toothbrush into the toilet by accident, and before he can warn her, she begins to brush her teeth. Jerry can’t get the thought out of his head and from then on, can’t stand the idea of kissing her.
Jenna eventually finds out and retaliates by throwing a secret object into his toilet. Later, George accidentally hits the water main while jackhammering, covering Jenna with toilet water – Jerry then breaks up with her.
2. Ellen
Actress: Kimberley Campbell
Episode: The Conversion
While in Tawni’s apartment, Jerry goes to the bathroom and gets a little nosy when he starts to rummage through her medicine cabinet. A real no-no in the real world, but hey, this is an episode of Seinfeld.
Jerry ends up finding a tube of fungicide, and gives it to Elaine to ask her podiatrist boyfriend why someone might be prescribed a fungicide. The fungicide ends up just being for Tawni’s cat. Inappropriate, on all levels!
1. Sidra Holland
Actress: Christine Taylor
Episode: The Van Buren Boys
One of Jerry’s girlfriends, Ellen, seems to tick all the boxes that make a perfect mate. He soon realizes, though, that it doesn’t look like she has any close friends, which begins to concern him.
Jerry brings in reinforcements (his parents) to determine what they think of Ellen. Upon realizing that his parents love Ellen, he dumps her, thinking that if his parents like her that much, there has got to be something wrong.
Actress: Teri Hatcher
Jerry’s relationship with his girlfriend, Sidra, is going well, except for the fact Elaine thinks she has fake breasts. While in the gym sauna, Elaine bumps into Sidra by accident (and comes to the conclusion that she doesn’t have implants).
Sidra thinks the incident was all on purpose, and all a part of Jerry’s plan to determine if her breasts were, in fact, real. They break up, after which Sidra claims, “They’re real, and they’re spectacular.”