Hold My Beer
From the outside, being an Uber driver sounds like a pretty sweet gig. You pick up a nice couple at the airport or a few guys outside the bar on Saturday night, listen to their ramblings, and call it a night, fat stack of cash in hand. If you’re lucky, you may even get a five-star rating just for staying silent. Then again, there’s a dark side of driving for Uber that you only know if you’ve been behind the wheel.
It doesn’t just take a license and a semi-clean car to drive for Uber; you need heaps of time, patience, and people skills. Uber drivers are the new bartenders, listening to their passengers’ problems and occasionally keeping them safe from creepers. Then there’s the fistfights, family secrets, and unwanted advances. One woman even tried to ride with her pregnant goat! Read on as Uber drivers share some of their craziest stories.
One Awkward Affair
I was driving my Uber and I picked up a few guys that were planning on going to a friend’s hotel room to drink. They brought along a garbage bag full of Bud Light. On the way there, they decided to go straight to the bar instead of their friend’s hotel.
When we got to the bar, they left without the bag full of beer, and when I pointed that out, they told me that I could keep it as a tip. That was three weeks ago. I still have a bunch left. Unfortunately, I actually don’t really drink that much. Reddit user: uridabbas
A Heartbreaking Secret
I picked up this young overly affectionate couple that spent the entire trip making out in my backseat and telling each other that they loved each other. Cute. So I drop off the couple and head on my way to pick up my text fare. I hear a cell phone ring in my backseat and realize it’s my previous ride’s.
I pick up the phone to let them know I have it and I’ll come back to drop it off. Turns out it was the guy’s wife phoning to check in on him while he was on a business trip, which he was thoroughly enjoying with his mistress. Reddit user: YetiPie
Joke or Threat?
Former Uber driver here. Picked a girl up from a bar on a Wednesday night, absolutely hammered, about 10pm. She got into my car, apologized for being so drunk, and politely asked if we could just drive around a little while with the windows down. I was down for just an easy cruise and said yes.
I was prepping for a cleaning fee, trying to drive and pull a vomit bag out of the glove box, but no, she just did that airplane thing with one hand out the backseat window. She asked me if I had ever thought about dying, to which I replied, “Yeah, I guess so.”
That’s when she told me that she had cancer. It was in her brain, and it was too far gone to consider chemo. I remember my heart just pounding. She told me she was dying but that she was going to be okay. Tonight she was celebrating with her work friends, who threw her a going-away party. She told them she was taking a position abroad. “I just didn’t tell them that abroad was heaven.” Reddit user: westport76
Give Me Your Hand
Drove Uber one night. It was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a club 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare, I was happy to drive that far ($80-$100). It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car, and they seemed cool, so I wasn’t worried.
As soon as we got on the freeway, the guy in the passenger seat started asking about Uber driving, and things got dark. After a few minutes, he started saying stuff like “what would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median?”
And “have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to strangle you while you were driving?” I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc., but the one guy just kept at it. I was happy to get to the club and get them out of the car. Reddit user: asudan30
Riding with Barney
I picked up a guy from a gay bar, and he was noticeably coming on to me. Like coming on really strong. He then confessed that he was one of the founders of a very popular gaming company and offered me $2,000 dollars to come up to his room.
He also said that he wouldn’t leave my car unless I ended up kissing his hand. Fun times. I hadn’t even heard of the gaming company that he had mentioned that he founded, but that $2,000 did seem kind of tempting to be quite honest. Reddit user: colzeZ
When You Feel Helpless
It wasn’t so much weird as it was totally random, but my first night that I was driving for Uber/Lyft, I picked up a dude at 2:30 in the morning that was finishing up a pub crawl. The dude was dressed in a purple dinosaur onesie and was completely HAMMERED.
He got in and started telling me his entire life story and how he came out to his parents and moved across the country the next day. At least he was a nice dinosaur. He was actually a pretty cool guy, but I bet he doesn’t remember any of that night. Reddit user: [redacted]
Two Girls, One Josh
I picked up a girl who had to go to work across town. Her boyfriend was arguing with her in the parking lot as I was approaching. The girl gets in my car, and she’s worried she’s not going to get to work on time and would be fired if she was late. I get about a block away, and my phone rings.
I answer and try to get it off my Bluetooth stereo to no avail. The person on the other line is her BF, and he says he wants to apologize about his GF and that I shouldn’t listen to her because she’s “crazy.” (She heard all of it and didn’t say a thing…it was very awkward.)
So I finally get her to where she worked, and she asks me if I can stay in the parking lot as she goes in and just quits her job. She gets back a few minutes later, and on the way home, she tells me that her boyfriend once broke her arm in an argument.
She figured that he was going to be very mad at her and was worried about going back home but said to take her there anyway. I ended up dropping her off and calling non-emergency, but I have no clue if anything ever happened with it. Reddit user: wosh_jamsley
Girls’ Night Out, Minus One
Uber driver George is doing Uber Pool one night in Austin, where you pick up multiple people en route to the destination. First, Girl #1 gets in the car alone and sits in the back seat on the passenger side. Then a couple comes, and there’s not enough room for everyone in the back, so Girl #2 sits behind the driver and the guy sits up front.
The two girls in the back start chatting and seem to be getting along well. Girl #1 asks what they’re doing tonight, and Girl #2 says, “Oh, me and my boyfriend Josh are going out to celebrate. Josh works at XX and just got a promotion.” At this point, George notices Josh is crouching down in his seat and looking guilty.
Then, Girl #1 says, “That’s funny, my boyfriend is also named Josh and works at XX. I wonder if they know each other.” Then Girl #2 starts tapping her boyfriend on the shoulder and bugging him to turn around to meet Girl #1. At some point, Josh can’t avoid the introduction anymore and is forced to turn around.
He does so with a look of utter horror on his face, as it slowly dawns on both girls that they’re dating the same Josh. Anyway, both girls start screaming and kick Josh out of the Uber. Not sure what happened after that, but you can bet Josh never took Uber Pool again. Reddit user: deathbynotsurprise
A Terrifying Scene
Former Uber driver here. I decided to try my luck with Hollywood one night after the clubs closed. When I pull up to the pick-up location, a stream of people start poking their heads into my car to ask if this car was theirs. I finally find the girl I’m looking for, and she opens my passenger door and tells me to wait because she needs to find her friends.
I’m blocking traffic while she’s calling for her friends loudly. She drags one girl into my back seat and returns to the still-open front door and tells me more are coming. At this time, the police pull up behind me and use their speaker to tell me to keep moving.
I tell the girl to get in so I can go around the corner; she refuses and keeps yelling for her friends. The cops get out of their car and demand I move the car or face arrest/ticketing. I tell them the girl won’t let go of the door or get in. They start yelling at her to get in or let go of the door.
She tells them no and that she needs her friends. The cop moves her and closes the door. I pull away with her drunk friend and no idea where to take her. I circle the block a few times and can’t find her again. I spend a good while trying to wake this girl and get an address.
She finally gives me a rough idea of where she lives. I drive her there and find the rest of her crew standing outside her place. I don’t bother asking what happened, I just dump her off to her friends and go home. Never doing that again. Reddit user: TehMetaxa
What Just Happened?
One night, I was finishing up and left the app on while I was driving home from the busy bar area around 3am and got a call. That rarely happened. When I arrived, a few people ran into my car with worried looks on their faces. Apparently, someone had just gotten shot and killed in a bar.
The bar owner said this motorcycle gang couldn’t bring guns into his establishment; I don’t know what happened that led to the murder, but immediately I said, “Let’s get the heck out of here.” No, they were still waiting for one friend who ran into some bushes, so we couldn’t leave.
30 seconds later, a dude from the motorcycle gang, standing in the middle of the street, takes out his gun again and shoots at the ground, I assume as another scare tactic. The friend came running in, luckily, and I peeled out with my heart racing. Reddit user: greeegsays
He Was Just Trying to Help
Only drove Uber for a summer. My most memorable one was one early evening: some girl pretty much had me drive to her friend’s house and directed me to park in this particular parking spot, and then she told me to turn off my headlights and the car so we wouldn’t be seen.
Weird thing was that it was still pretty bright out before sunset. Then she just stayed there and stared at this one house. That was when I figured she was stalking someone, and I told her I don’t have time for this. Right then, she pulled out a wad of $500 and smiled at me. “Now you got the time?”
Then some big tall ponytail-looking guy came out of the house for what I think was a cigarette break, and she ran out of my car to him and started screaming and literally punching the guy. The guy was genuinely twice her size and looked like Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones.
The guy looked like he tried to reason with her, but she kept hitting him. He then quickly retreated back inside, and she ran back to my car and then told me to take her home. On our drive back, she kept telling me about a handbag and some sandals she was designing commercially. I dropped her off, and she paid her fare on top of the $500 cash that she had given me earlier. Reddit user: sackofmangoes
Up in Smoke
I asked my Uber driver once how his week had been. Apparently not too great. Earlier that week, he had a rider request a trip to the hospital BECAUSE HE HAD GOTTEN BITTEN BY A RATTLESNAKE! He didn’t think calling an ambulance was worth his money, so he opted for Uber instead.
The Uber driver took off his belt and put it around the bite in the guy’s leg so the venom wouldn’t spread any further. Then he got yelled at by the staff at the hospital that he wasn’t supposed to do that. I felt bad for the poor guy. Reddit user: DrogsMcGogs
Just Another Night as an Uber Driver
A guy once needed a ride from a restaurant to the motel that he was staying in while his house was being rebuilt after a fire had damaged the place. The dude spent the whole 15-minute drive trying to convince me that he didn’t actually burn down his house for the insurance money.
He just started defending himself out of the blue. Because that’s not weird at all. It’s as if I’d asked, “Hey buddy, did you burn down your house for the insurance money?” Very weird. Should have joked that I was an undercover cop. Reddit user: pappapill
“Don’t Ever Get Married!”
I drive an average of about 200 miles a night, typically from the hours of 7pm to 4am. I haven’t seen anyone die yet, but I see someone almost die at least once a night. All sorts of things that usually you tend to see happen in the middle of the night.
Drunk drivers, no lights on the freeway, near misses, wasted college kids running into the street, police chases that don’t make the news, and fender benders galore. I’m much more afraid of the strangers on the road than the strangers sitting behind me because I see the evidence. Reddit user: [redacted]
Stranger Danger
I picked up a guy in the middle of the day from a bar and took him to a casino nearby. As soon I got on the freeway, some lady started tailing me and constantly beeping at me. I freaked out a little, and he said, “That might be my wife. Don’t worry, she’ll stop following soon.”
She followed us for the whole 20-minute ride, non-stop beeping. Once we got there, he practically jumped out of my car and ran for the door. She followed him in her car, almost hitting him. The last thing he said to me was, “Don’t ever get married!” Reddit user: unadvisedd
Big Spender
My boyfriend is a Lyft driver. He one time had this woman climb into his front seat, and then the person he identified as the woman who had requested the Lyft hopped in the back seat. Meanwhile, the woman that was in the front seat immediately passed out.
Turns out the woman who had requested the Lyft didn’t know this woman in the front. She was an escort who just climbed into my boyfriend’s car because he sat waiting in her area long enough. Once he realized this woman was a stranger, he pulled over, woke her up, and kicked her out. Reddit user: [redacted]
Uber Driver or Superhero?
I was picking the guy up at an apartment complex only a few miles away from my own. As I’m turning onto his street, he calls me and very drunkenly slurs, “Hurry up, my girlfriend is in the hospital.” I arrive at his complex and he wastes no time in jumping in.
The whole ride there, he’s saying, “Dude, I’m gonna give you such a great tip! Thanks for coming man, you’re a great driver!” I continuously tell him, “Don’t worry about tipping me, just make sure your girlfriend is okay.” To cut this story a little bit shorter, I picked him up from the hospital later and took him back to his complex.
On the way back, he insisted that I go and stop at an ATM. He hops out and comes back, slapping a wad of bills into my hand. It turned out to be $200, so I end up getting tipped $200 for what was a $14 fare, so that was pretty cool. Reddit user: Sparrow1639
A Forbidden Love Story
My brother is the San Francisco Lyft driver who ended up chasing down a couple of purse snatchers that pushed an old lady down in front of his car while he was waiting for his fare. He actually got in their car, and they ended up running over his foot.
But he did manage to get the old woman her purse back. What a guy! I was so proud of him. He made the news and everything; it was a pretty big deal among the people in our small area. My brother became kind of a mini-celebrity for a week. Reddit user: [redacted]
A Couple of Russian Spies
One time, I was driving a dude for a bit of a long trip. It was gonna take around 25-30 minutes. He wasn’t hammered, but definitely a bit drunk. It was late, and he must’ve been feeling a bit down, so he confided in me and asked me for some advice. He told me he’s madly in love with his fiancé’s best friend.
He’d been with this girl 4 years and had been engaged for 1, ready to be married in a few months. It was pretty sad to hear, because it wasn’t just your average story. It was filled with a lot of subtle emotional and mental anguish. The guy went through about 5 years of ups and downs with his girl and found an innocent friend and comfort in the best friend. After a few years, he developed feelings, and it was just downhill from there.
I felt bad for the guy, because he seemed like he was truly in love with his fiancé too, although he had strong feelings for this friend. He knew that going through with the marriage meant a lifetime of being around the friend. And suppressing feelings but also breaking it off meant that he lost the girl of his dreams. Seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and I hope he’s doing okay. Reddit user: clever_username7
Just Keep Driving
I once drove some well-dressed Russians in between bars on the west side of Chicago. I used to work for a Russian-owned cab company, and I understand a little Russian; I heard two of them talking back and forth about something one of them was very anxious about.
The phrases that jumped out at me were “This is death, this is serious,” “Blood is on me,” and “I’m not a bad man.” The other guy was mainly just telling him to relax a lot and telling him, “There are no fools here” or something along those lines. Upon dropping them off, like an idiot, I blanked that I had just heard parts of a seemingly harrowing conversation.
I said “доброй ночиl,” which is pronounced “dobroy nochi” and means good night. Only one of them heard me (the older guy telling his colleague to relax), and he just stared at me. Then he came around to my window while reaching into his coat pocket, which scared me. He then pulled out a $100 and said (in English), “My friend, do we understand?” I just took it, shook my head in the affirmative, and drove off. I didn’t take any rides for the rest of the night. Reddit user: [redacted]
Three’s a Crowd
One time, I had this extremely drunk middle-age couple fight in the backseat for an entire 30-minute ride. They were yelling and screaming at each other until they were hoarse, you know the whole nine yards. They even attempted to bring me into their fight many times.
I just pretended like I was deaf and didn’t answer them when they would try to rope me into the whole thing. Don’t mind me, I’m just up here pretending that I can’t hear you until I can get you the heck out of my car, thanks. Reddit user: timothy_jmiller
Hello, Espana
Once I had two girls and a guy declare their love for each other as friends and say they should hang out more often when they got in the car. But actually, by the time I dropped them off, they hated each other and never wanted to speak to each other again.
My tongue was nearly bleeding by the end of the ride from trying so hard not to laugh at the whole situation. I cracked a few smiles; I wonder if they ever noticed. They were fighting over the new football coach at the local uni. Reddit user: sheeplipid
He’s Not Coming Home
My friend is an Uber driver back in my hometown. He picked up some really nice girls out on First Friday. They’re talking about their plans for next autumn. The driver thinks that he actually may recognize one of them; it turns out to be my younger sister.
He went and told me all about it. And that’s how I found out my little sister was moving to Spain. Pro tip: Be careful who you end up sharing your huge life changes with. She didn’t really want any of us to know about what her plans were. Reddit user: [redacted]
What Happens in Vegas
A woman in her early 20s was explaining to her daughter, who must have been 4 or younger, that daddy wouldn’t be coming back home because he tried to run from the cops by jumping in the river in the middle of December and froze to death. I could tell the girl was too young to really comprehend the whole thing.
The mother kept trying to explain that water was too cold and he “got too tired to move” and “sunk in the water.” The girl kept asking why he jumped in the water if it was cold, and the mom kept trying to explain and just…ugh. Reddit user: [redacted]
Storyteller/Uber Driver
This driver told me that he picked up his last fare for the day, and it did not have a final destination. The dude gets in the car stoned out of his mind yelling on the phone. The guy says “drive to Vegas, here!” and hastily tosses $500 bucks at him. That’s on top of the Uber fare, which apparently was surge pricing.
So the guy drives him to Vegas (from Los Angeles). The whole time, the guy is talking/yelling on the phone to his mom. They get to Vegas, and he drops the dude off at some mansion where his mom is outside waiting to yell at him. Apparently the guy forgot about giving him the cash, because he tossed another few hundred bucks at him, got out of the car, and split. Reddit user: [redacted]
Nobody Messes With Me
I picked up a group of people at around 11pm, and they asked, “Have any funny stories from tonight?” So I told them I picked up a guy who was climbing out of a second-story window wearing only boxer shorts while a car was pulling in the driveway. They asked where and what the house looked like.
After I tell them, she says, “Oh my god! That’s Heather! She’s still sleeping with Bryan even after all that!” So one of the other girls calls Heather and confronts her and learns that in fact Heather is still with Bryan even after “all that.” A big dramatic scene unfolds in the back of my car.
It turns out Heather is married and cheated with Bryan and got caught before and worked it out and is now back cheating with Bryan. The only problem? I made up the whole story. When they asked where and what the house looked like, I just picked a town at random and described a random house. Reddit user: nova828
I’m Not Your Punching Bag
I drive occasionally for Uber and had this Indian guy who went crazy on me when I wouldn’t speed through a downpour to get him to the airport. His bad luck; I happen to be a 250 lb guy and a former Marine. When he spat on me, I pulled over on the freeway and promptly threw him out of the car.
I told him that if he wanted his luggage he could get go get it up the road about a half mile. I then drove a half mile, put his luggage on the side of the freeway, drove to the nearest convenience store, and wrote an incident report. Reddit user: rimennel
This Is Not Fight Club
I did have a violently belligerent passenger one time. His friends ordered an Uber from a local bar using his phone. When I pulled up, he hopped in without saying a word, and they asked me to make sure he got home safe. They mentioned that he may try to change the destination but not to let him.
Silly me for accepting such conditions. He did, in fact, try to change the destination to a local jewelry store (which was closed in the wee hours of the morning). I continued on to the original address. He wouldn’t talk to me, just kept intermittently mumbling incoherently.
Half way through the ride, he started attacking the back of my car/backs of my seats as if using punching bags in a gym; he didn’t do any permanent damage, thankfully. I pulled over and told him to calm down or I’d kick him out. Oddly enough, he got quiet and ended up just bolting when I stopped near his destination. Reddit user: [redacted]
My Sweet Sammy
I had a friend be an Uber driver for a very well-known UFC fighter and his lady friend. The UFC guy then insisted that he wanted to drive the car himself. My friend had to spend the entirety of the ride trying to dissuade a drunk UFC fighter from driving his car.
He also had to delicately do his best to not to strike his ego the wrong way in front of his partner/friend/whoever she was. You don’t just need a car to be an Uber driver, you need major people skills too. And maybe pepper spray. Reddit user: [redacted]
Fleeing the Scene?
I pick up this 20-something-year-old who works the deli counter at my grocery store. As I’m driving him, he asks if we can stop at his mom’s real quick. He runs in and comes back out with what looks like a bundle of clothes swaddling a baby. Now I know it’s not a baby because there’s no car seat, but he’s talking to it sweetly and like rubbing it in the backseat.
“Hey little girl, you ok?” “Easy, easy, we’ll be home soon.” So I’m thinking it’s his puppy or kitten his mom was watching, so I turn to look at the cute little critter. It’s a sandwich. A dang turkey, lettuce, and cheese sub swaddled up like a baby, and he’s rubbing the sandwich’s “face” and talking to it. I turned back around without a word and drove particularly fast on that trip. Reddit user: [redacted]
Pizza Fail
I had one that I didn’t realize at the time how strange it was, but a few days later, the police came to my house asking me questions about a ride I had. It turns out I’d picked someone up from a house where someone had been murdered. As in, while I was driving to pick him up, the police were also on the way.
When I pulled up outside the house, there happened to be a dead woman inside it. I never found out if the person I picked up was the murderer or if he’d left before it happened (he was waiting outside when I got there). A little scary though. Reddit user: UnholyDemigod
The Fight Over Conspiracy Theories
A dude asked if he could bring his leftover pizza into my car. I said sure, no problem. The dude then started to eat the pizza box. Nope, not the pizza in it. The box itself. I’m not really sure what his deal was or what would possess a person to do that.
You know how people will sometimes say that food “tastes like cardboard” as an insult? This passenger might have taken it a bit too literally. I was so tempted to be like, “Uh…I’ll take that pizza if you’re not gonna eat it, dude.” Reddit user: duncanoz
Uber Angel
I was only a driver for about six months, but my very first weekend of doing it, I had two guys who lived together get in a fistfight over some conspiracy theories. One guy was in the front seat and the other guy was in the back, which made it even more awkward.
Other than that, I had really nice people for the most part. Can’t complain too much. And these craziest thing is that these guys weren’t even drunk! I just had to wrangle them and stop fighting, but otherwise being an Uber driver was just fine. Reddit user: [redacted]
Meeting Merlin
I had just dropped off my last passenger for the night at MSP (Minneapolis-St. Paul) airport. As I’m pulling away from the curb, I see a man around my age completely in tears. Especially in a high-traffic area, I’d normally keep on moving to avoid backing up traffic, but he’s obviously in distress, and I don’t want to just walk away.
I step out to ask him if he’s alright, and he’s mustering up everything he can to explain his situation through intermittent crying and attempts to breathe. He apparently needs to get to Duluth, MN (2.5 hours away), and no drivers (Uber, Lyft, shuttles, or taxis) would accept his fare, especially since it was so late at night.
Up to this point in my own life, I had been battling a deep depression, with most days leaving me feeling like I was on the losing end of an endless war, so I felt a great sense of empathy for this guy. All he needed was a little help. I showed him I was an Uber driver but motioned him just to hop in and that I’d give him a lift, off the books, no charge.
He accepted, so we gathered his things, loaded up, and were on our way for a nice long road trip to Duluth. We didn’t talk. We didn’t need to. An hour in, once he collected himself and NPR started to static out, he asked to borrow my phone, so I obliged.
Based on his conversation, he recently lost his wife of several years and their children in a car accident. He then lost his job. He lost his home. And he was now on the way to see his father, who was on his deathbed in Duluth; he had sold everything in his possession to make this trip.
We pull up to the address and while unloading his things, he attempts to hand me whatever money he has left, which I wasn’t going to take regardless. But his gesture, which was a sandwich bag full of mixed coins and crumpled bills, let me know how grateful he was in spite of having lost everything.
I was just happy to lift a burden off someone else’s shoulders, even if only for 2.5 hours, and yet we really hadn’t spoken up to this point. I went home, hugged my mom who was asleep on the couch with the tv still on, and felt fortunate that I had an opportunity to lend a helping hand to someone who needed it. Reddit user: [redacted]
Taking a Stab at It
Uber passenger here: I once had a weird ride where the driver told me that he was legally changing his name to Nilrem. It was because that was Merlin spelled backward and he was a wizard. If he was actually a real wizard, why was he driving for Uber?
Also, shouldn’t he be able to transport me to my destination rather than drive me? Asking the real questions, folks. I’m not joking when I say he was being 100% serious with the wizard thing. I didn’t really know how to react to that information. Reddit user: [redacted]
Silly Stories
Two weeks ago, I drove two young girls home at around 3 o’clock in the morning on a Friday night. They were quiet and polite passengers while they were in the car, and nothing eventful happened during the ride. But when they got out, I found out what they had ended up doing the whole time.
They had literally stabbed up my back seat, and the dashcam review showed they were making “gun hand” gestures at me during the trip. They paid for a new seat, full retail price. I watch the rear view mirror a lot more closely now. Reddit user: [redacted]
I do Uber as a side gig here and there, mostly the late night shift, and I start my evenings in a bar district: usually the one near the private university. Some favorites: The 20-something girl that said nothing but “pancakes,” pronounced “paaaaaaaan-caaaaakes,” again and again the entire ride. Her less drunk friends kept apologizing for her.
Also, the passenger going from a blind date gone bad to another date that she wasn’t really looking forward to; she asked me what my (physical) type was (she was, but I was in the early stages of a relationship so didn’t pursue the obvious cue). Then the passenger I thought would be my first puker.
Early 20-something male with two early 20-something females. He was going through a breakup and could barely stand. I heard plenty of indistinguishable mumbling about her. The only reason that ride wasn’t refused was the two cop cars parked a block away in a part of town well known for cops handing out public intoxication tickets. Reddit user: [redacted]