Swapping A Lunchtime Apple + $0.25 For A Bag Of Doritos
The 1980s seem like a simpler time. No Wifi, no smart phones, no FOMO. Life was good. If you grew up during parts of the ’80s like I did, you’ll never forget the simple joys of wearing neon bike shorts, listening to a mixtape that was made for you by one of your friends, or putting scratch ‘n sniff stickers on just about anything you can get your hands (sorry about the dashboard on your blue Oldsmobile, mom… truly).
But as we look back on the ’80s with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, it’s clear that some of the choices we made as kids were not necessarily in the best interests of our health. In fact, some of those choices were questionable, at best. But at the same time, there are definitely a few areas where we’d all gain by taking it back to the ’80s. So the questions become… were our ’80s childhoods overall healthy, and could we learn a thing or two by hitting rewind on a few aspects of present-day life?
We all remember making those lunchtime deals to snag some extra junk food—like swapping an apple and $0.25 for a bag of Doritos. We may have felt like we were getting away with something sneaky and wonderful at the same time, but in reality, we were definitely making some bad trades.
Instead of munching on a naturally sweet treat rich in antioxidants and fiber, we were feeding our bodies empty calories flavored with chemicals.
Rolling Around In The Mud
As kids in the ’80s, we loved wrestling in the dirt, making mud pies, and splashing through puddles. Mud was our best friend! As it turns out, playing in the dirt offered us some real health benefits, because those memorable afternoons exposed us to beneficial bacteria that strengthened our immune systems.
In today’s world, kids often don’t make it two steps before a dismayed parent rushes out with the baby wipes so they don’t leave muddy fingerprints in the house.
Eating Dinner By 6 PM
Do you remember when our parents left work at 5 PM, came home, and had everyone gathered around the table for a family dinner by 6 PM? Now it seems that more and more jobs require longer hours, which means we’re getting home and eating dinner later than we did as children.
Dining after dark gives us far less time to digest our food, and we miss out on the benefits of intermittent fasting between that 6 PM dinner and breakfast the next day.
Eating Canned Foods On A Regular Basis
Of course, in order to have dinner ready by 6 PM, our parents often cut some corners for the sake of convenience, like serving us canned foods on a regular basis. Now scientists tell us that those canned soups we used to turn to in a pinch could be some of the biggest offenders for exposing us to Bisphenol A (BPA).
Studies are exploring whether this chemical mimics estrogen and messes with our hormonal health, especially when exposed to it in childhood.
Hanging Around The Aunt Who Would Chain-Smoke
To this day, many of us still can’t smell cigarette smoke without thinking about that one aunt who used to chain-smoke at family gatherings. Little did we know just how dangerous that secondhand smoke could truly be. Studies now show that the exposure put us at an increased risk of asthma attacks, respiratory infections, ear infections, and more.
The ’80s were a time when people regularly smoked in shops, restaurants, and other public spots, which is now illegal in most places.
Fast Food Dinners With Dad Were A Treat
Nothing elicited sheer joy in our childhood more quickly than dad telling us to hop in the car for dinner at our favorite fast food restaurant. We had no idea that those “treat meals” were putting us at greater risk of obesity, diabetes, stroke, heart disease, and more.
As adults striving to live healthier lives, a fast food dinner now sounds more like a punishment than a reward, thanks to all the sugar and preservatives.
Making Mixtapes With Friends
Before we had Spotify and iTunes to instantly stream any song we wanted to hear, we loved getting together with friends to make mix-tapes of our favorite tunes. We weren’t motivated by health at the time, but the benefits were certainly there. Social interaction has been linked with improved mental health, physical health, and mortality rates.
It wouldn’t hurt us to step away from our streaming devices and hang out (in real life) with friends over shared interests like music more often.
Waking Up Early To Watch Saturday Morning Cartoons
As the old saying goes, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Getting up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons was an easy way to keep our bodies on a consistent sleep schedule. Plus, if we can get back to waking up early as adults, we’re far more likely to eat healthy foods and exercise more.
As long as we don’t camp out in front of the TV for an all-day marathon, of course. Which is a super easy temptation.
“Just Saying No” To Drugs
When President Reagan advised us to “just say no” to drugs in the ’80s, he was mostly referring to illegal drugs. However, with rising rates of abuse of over-the-counter and prescription drugs across the US, our generation would be much healthier if we took that presidential advice to heart today.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that will be happening anytime soon. Abuse is still on the rise, but we can always make responsible choices.
Playing Board Games
You may still enjoy a game night with friends from time to time, but how often do you find yourself checking your phone for texts or scrolling through Facebook while waiting for your turn? As kids, we didn’t have those distractions, so our full attention was on the game, and more importantly, our friends and family.
The social bonds formed over lively games of Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit benefited our mental and physical health. Maybe it’s time to break out the old board games again—and put down our phones.
Listening To Friends’ Parents Explain Why Diet Soda Is Healthy
In the ’80s, diet soda was all the rage among our parents. They loved the chance to indulge in sweet, fizzy drinks without the extra calories. Unfortunately, what they didn’t know is that those sugar-free sweeteners would soon be linked to some potentially negative health outcomes they couldn’t even imagine.
Studies are currently examining the role that sweeteners have in our health. In the meantime, choosing whole foods is always a solid decision.
Eating Whole Wheat Jam Sandwiches Like They’re Green Smoothies
Diet sodas weren’t the only place where our perception of healthy foods was a bit skewed. We used to love munching on PB&Js and believed that as long as that sugary jam was spread on whole wheat bread, we were good to go. It was the perfect lunch treat for all kids!
Unfortunately, even whole wheat bread is high in carbs and can cause your blood sugar to spike. That’s just the nature of carbs.
Eating Awesome Cereal Like Ice Cream Cones, Count Chocula, And More
We have so many fond memories of eating breakfast cereals that looked (and tasted) more like desserts. With names like “Ice Cream Cones” and “Count Chocula,” these breakfast choices were fun and tasty, but they were also loaded with chemicals used for color and flavor, as well as tons of sugar.
Your pasture-raised-egg omelet may not be quite as exciting as a bowl full of chocolate, but your body sure is glad you’ve left that particular childhood habit behind.
Ordering Books From Scholastic
Who can forget the innocent joy of ordering books from Scholastic? We’d pore over every option before making our final decisions. As it turns out, all of that excitement over reading was great for our health. Reading has been shown to reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s, combat stress, and more.
We’d all be much healthier if we’d just return to this simple pleasure from our childhood, opting for a good read over another Netflix marathon every once in a while.
Going To A ’50s-Themed Party (Or Any Kind Of Party)
From ’50s-themed parties to any kind of birthday party, we definitely knew how to have some fun as kids in the ’80s. We weren’t old enough to consume alcohol, so these events just became a way to run around, play, or dance with our friends. As a result, we got a ton of exercise.
We were actually burning calories while having fun! Next time exercise starts to seem boring, an ’80s-inspired party could be just what you need to get back on track.
Staying Up All Night Playing Nintendo
As a kid in the ’80s, it wasn’t uncommon to stay up all night playing Nintendo with friends. Unfortunately, swapping out those crucial hours of rest for extra screen time was harmful to our minds and bodies. We now know that experts recommend 9-11 hours of sleep for school-age children.
Plus, the blue light on screens confuses our bodies and throws off our circadian rhythms, so it’s best to put down the video games (or cell phones and laptops) when getting ready for bed.
Adopting A Random Animal And Letting It Live In Your Home
Kids have been begging their parents for pets for generations, but when we were kids in the ’80s, those pets rarely got the shots and regular vet visits they would today—yet we never hesitated to cuddle up with them in bed. This definitely wasn’t great for our dogs’ and cats’ health, as they were more prone to ticks and illnesses.
On the other hand, at least we had the opportunity to strengthen our immune systems and take in animals in need!
Avoiding Our Parents When They Tried To Have “The Talk”
We still cringe in embarrassment when we remember how our parents awkwardly fumbled through “The Talk.” Fortunately, sex education has come a long way since our childhood, and it doesn’t just come from TV shows. Now, more and more adults are making it a point to have open-minded discussions with children about safe intimacy.
Not to mention the dangers of molestation, how to be safe and respectful in public and online, and the ins and outs of consent.
Being Super Thrilled To Win A Hot Dog Eating Contest
We may have won nothing more than bragging rights, but kids in the ’80s were always thrilled to win a hot dog eating contest (or maybe a pie eating one). Although the inevitable stomachache should’ve been a clue, we had no idea just how harmful overeating and binge eating really can be.
Kids today are exposed to far more conversations about healthy eating habits than we ever were. This will hopefully lead to fewer cases of obesity, diabetes, and eating disorders in the future.
Running Around Until Late Hours With Our Friends With No Supervision
Back when we were kids, we spent many summer nights roaming around the neighborhood well after dark, playing games like Capture the Flag or Flashlight Tag. Although we’d all benefit from spending more time outside and less time in front of screens, it’s no longer safe for kids to roam around outside without adult supervision.
It’s unfortunate, but sadly the way to keep children happy, healthy, and safe in the new age is to keep an eye on them.
Reading Stories In The Dark Until Late At Night
From Judy Blume favorites to classics like Charlotte’s Web, there were so many great books for kids to enjoy in the ’80s. We’d often stay up late reading our favorites by flashlight (not smartphone light!). We had no idea at the time that we were putting some serious strain on our eye muscles.
Plus, we were missing out on much needed sleep—a mistake that could easily lead to hyperactivity, fatigue, and inability to concentrate later.
Talking To Friends On The Long Corded Phone In Your Kitchen
Long gone are the days of sitting on the kitchen floor, twirling a long phone cord between our fingers, and chatting with our friends after school about grades and boys. We now stay glued to cell phones, fielding unending streams of texts and social media notifications in the palms of our hands.
Unfortunately, with lingering concerns about the effects of cell phones, we were probably much better off when our only phone was anchored to a wall.
Keeping A Hidden “Candy Stash” Somewhere In Your Room
As kids in the ’80s, we enjoyed all kinds of amazing candies. Whether you liked the sweet crackle of Pop Rocks or the chewy goodness of Cow Tales, you definitely knew the thrill of having your own hidden candy stash. In fact, you may even still have a secret stash now!
The one thing that’s changed is that we now know that loading up on sugar, especially before bed, is beyond terrible for our health. It can cause our blood sugar to spike and crash and hinder a good night of sleep.
Actually Talking To Each Other, Not Our Phones
Unlike the 1980s, today you don’t even have to talk to your friends to find out that they got a new job or a puppy, because all you need to do is double-tap their latest Instagram picture. While social media is highly convenient, it’s also shown to be harmful to our mental health.
FOMO wasn’t even a thing in the ’80s, because everybody had to actually go outside to find out what was going on.
Not Being Able To Edit Your Selfie
Kim Kardashian may be an ’80s baby herself, but the OG influencer had to go through childhood without filters, lighting, and all the tools for the perfect selfie. In fact, this decade made you actually wait to see all the photos you just took. Even sometimes up to a week. Gasp.
It may seem ridiculous to think about now, but it was a better time. An era where you didn’t take a hit on your self-esteem by scrolling past models every time you log into Instagram.
Shopping At Physical Stores
These days, it’s tough to find the motivation to get out of bed, put on real clothes, and run errands. Why should you when clothes and groceries can be delivered to your door with the touch of a button? Because that’s what people had to do in the ’80s, and it wasn’t all bad. Getting outside is better for your physical and mental health, and even simple interactions with others can bring up your mood.
Just a little small talk with the cashier can put a smile on your face. And who knows…you might even meet a new friend or partner while out and about.
Walking To The Corner Store… And Everywhere Else
In a time where owning a car was more of a privilege than a right and the emergence of Uber and Lyft was decades away, it was common for people to walk to the store or their friend’s house for an impromptu hangout session; and it’s a concept that’s less socially acceptable today. The benefits of walking and exercise are endless.
Studies have shown that it can improve mood and cognitive function, lower cholesterol and blood sugar, and even lead to a longer life. Next time you think about grabbing a Lyft to drive you 2 blocks to your car, think about walking instead!
Big Hair, Don’t Care
The ’80s only had one rule when it comes to hair: the bigger, the better. John Stamos and Billy Ray Cyrus had iconic mullets. Meanwhile, you could step into any public restroom and every girl would be standing in front of the mirror spraying gallons of hairspray, and it wasn’t pretty for her OR the environment.
Aerosol hairspray is fine to use in moderation, but large amounts can be toxic to the ozone layer. Not to mention the chemicals in it can be harmful to your hair, eyes, and lungs when ingested.
Renting A VHS Cassette At The Video Store
Renting a VHS tape at Blockbuster was a thing people did as recently as 15 years ago, but it has rapidly become a token of the past and the subject of jokes on Family Guy. Real ’80s and ’90s kids remember the pure joy of picking out a movie and then begging their parents to buy them candy at the checkout counter.
Everybody loves Netflix, Hulu, and all the streaming services available today, but renting a video prevented the eye strain and 8 hours in bed that often comes with a binge-watching session.
Dating The Old-Fashioned Way
Don’t get us wrong, we’re thrilled about the modern dating apps that match people by food preferences and let you swipe right on your soulmate. But they can be a bit overwhelming and make you run into a lot of jerks. Not to mention that going out on Tinder dates every night means a lot of unhealthy eating and sluggish nights watching Netflix.
Dating in the ’80s was a lot simpler, and that can be either a good or bad thing depending on who you ask! From getting out and about to staying away from constant phone checking, it was a different time.
The Existence Of Waterbeds
If you owned a waterbed in the ’80s, chances are you bragged about it. But there’s a reason they aren’t around much today. Laying down on one was super fun, even if it made you a little seasick, but it turns out that they’re actually pretty bad for your health. Who knew?
These mattresses don’t adjust to your body the way that modern sleeping materials do and could result in back problems, numb limbs, and poor sleeping habits.
Running Errands Was Boring AF
These days, everywhere you go is a barely 10-year-old kid with his head buried in an iPhone, iPad, or some other gadget while his mom shops. But what did ’80s kids do when their parents dragged them along on an errand run? Good question. The answer is probably “nothing,” and it may have just been the best thing ever.
Sure, it was super boring for the kid, but the lack of technology meant that they were more in tune with the world around them.
The Rise And Fall Of The CD Collection
“Alexa, play Thriller!” Any ’80s kid who heard this statement would have two thoughts. “YES, Thriller!” and also “Who on earth is Alexa?” They didn’t have the iPhone or beloved Amazon Echo to play any song at the touch of a button (or sound of a voice). Instead, CDs were brand new and all the rage.
Despite the convenience of Alexa, there are undeniable benefits to having a collection of CDs. Or anything, for that matter. Building a collection builds patience, focus, commitment, and gives you a sense of pride.
A Major Fashion Crisis
Okay, hear us out. Wearing parachute pants and inappropriately matched, ultra-bright colors may not be harmful to health (except for those who damage their eyes looking at your neon tights), but the fashion of the ’80s was just so bad it hurts. Acid-washed jeans, mullets, and leg-warmers…need we say more?
Leg warmers don’t even make sense. How are only your shins cold, but not the rest of your legs? Doesn’t seem right to us.
Burned By The Boombox… Literally
Before the days of iPhones and Spotify, everybody carried a boombox on their shoulder. Seriously, everybody. Haven’t you seen Say Anything? And while you would think that sounds dangerous, you’re right…but not for the reasons you may think. People weren’t hit by boomboxes (much), but there were risks.
These devices were regularly recalled due to catching fire and burn injuries, and they continued to be risky even in the 2000s.
Disney Wasn’t So Magical
The kids born in this decade missed out big time, as the “Disney Renaissance” didn’t happen until the ’90s. You know, the era that brought Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Mulan, and all the classics. Sure, the ’80s got a few great Disney flicks like The Fox and the Hound and The Black Cauldron, but it’s not the same.
Okay, technically The Little Mermaid was released in 1989, so they snuck it in at the tail end of the decade. Get it, tail?
Stay Safe, Kids
Did you know that proper seatbelts weren’t even built into all cars until the mid-1980s? Before then, it was commonly only lap belts that were found in the backseat, with the potential to cause serious injury. People who grew up in this era also reported that they didn’t even wear a helmet while riding a bike!
It seems as if safety was less of a concern for some ’80s kids (who hopefully make their children wear helmets and seatbelts now!).
Being Forced To Memorize Phone Numbers
Think about it. If you had to remember your mom or best friend’s phone number to come get you in an emergency, would you? If the answer is no (which it very well might be), you may want to take a page out of the ’80s (phone) book, long before we had address books built into our cell phones.
If you were to lose your phone or find yourself in a dangerous situation, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by just memorizing a phone number like the ’80s kids did. It won’t hurt!
Maps: The Paper Kind
Plenty of us have been in the passenger seat, holding our phones while trying and failing to guide our driver in the right direction. Now imagine having to do that with a paper map! The lack of Apple Maps instilled ’80s kids with a better sense of direction, but it also meant they were totally screwed if they made a wrong turn.
Thanks, but we’ll stick with our smartphone directions for the next 50 years. Although Google Maps doesn’t equip us with the same level of problem-solving skills!